GHETTO PROM

I'll apologize in advance - the following pictures are old. They've been bouncing around the internet for at least a few years. But I ran across them again a few days ago and it was just like the first time: the butterflies in the stomach, the pageantry, the innocence of youth, the silky fervitude of my first prom dress. It's was all a bit overwhelming really. So I had to post them again here. All the young jeezies out there should see what it means to be young with a beautiful, demure damsel on your arm, and a big bright future ahead of you... oh... and what's it like to be big pimpin'. Time to get our prom on Buckoz!

The arrival.

Note the red... plastic... er... carpet.

Pose, you photo-riffic maniacs.

The white guys blend in like Ronald McDonald in a North Korean POW camp.

And for dessert...

Drink it in Buckos.

Oh yeah, it's happening.

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THE 48 LAWS OF POWER - PART 5

Ho HO Buckos!  Welcome to the fifth and final installment of your crash course in power!  Author Robert Greene rounds out his lessons in annihilating bastards by busting out pearls on how to disarm, how to use flaws as strength, and the potency of formlesness.  So grab a spear and grit your teeth men - this video (and the others... part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) is how to make muscle.  Watch and grow awesome.

Ok, so once you've studied all those rules your performance should look something like this...

PS - If you'd like a copy of all 5 "Laws of Power" movies in high quality and on cd, shoot me an email.  Just click the piss-ant envelope below.

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I GUESS WE CAN HAVE HIS GUN NOW.

Sweet Odin's Raven! First the egg mcmuffin guy (see here), now Charlton Heston ups and croaks.   I was never a big fan of the NRA Heston but I am a fan of this one...

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Since these things happen in threes the question is, 'who's next?'  Deathlist.net has Sydney Pollack.  And then Albert Hoffman - the creator of LSD.  I could give a squirt of piss about Sydney but I'd be bummed if the LSD guy went to that big trippy sugar cube in the sky.  For some reason I like knowing he's around.  Like when I have a bad flashback and think I'm in a re-run of Scooby Doo where urinal mints look like Scooby snacks and the living room lamp is really Daphne... who is so ready to party.

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TAXES HURT MY SPHINCTER - PART 2.

About a month ago I posted the first part in a eleven part video series called "America: Freedom To Fascism."  You can check it out here.  Well Buckos, with tax time just around the corner, I'm posting part two of the series.  So, if you're not motivated to give Uncle Sam some of your sweet sweet coinage, this should make it worse.  But you maniacs should look at the bright side: at least you don't have to release your return to the national media and explain why you and your husband have invested your $$ in tax shelters in the Cayman Islands since he left office as the President of a pretty kick-ass country... hypothetically speaking... ahem.

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AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM (2 of 11)

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Congratulations Buckos.  Here's your lusty reward for making through the last five days of servitude and pandering... if that sounds weird then you haven't lived in the "real world" yet where your pride is stripped from you like a garter belt at a red neck county fair.

G'day mate!  This is Krystal Forscutt.  She's an Austrailian model.  From a quick glance at her stats I saw she was born in 1987, which kind of ruins the fantasy for me a little.  I mean by 1987 I'd already discovered erectile dysfunction and found out you could get fired for drinking at work.  And both in the same day for cripes sake!  Seriously, how the hell are you supposed to know about the drinking at work thing?!?  My old guidance counselor recieved a very terse letter that year.  You betcha.

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Smithwick's (pronounced Smith-icks) is a muscular red ale from Ireland.  It took extensive testing and two trips to the corner store to really provide a accurate review.  *hic*  I go the extra mile for you bastards.  Anyway, it's a little malty, a little sweet; and made me go put on my "I'm so irish I shit leprechauns" tshirt.  So, that's a good review in my book.  BeerAdvocate gave it a "B" rating based on 247 reviews.

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The tune this week is a moist little ditty by Presence called "Down the Road."  Because we're all heading down that proverbial road...  may it be lined with raunchy whores with luscious boobs, frothy beers in silver buckets, and raucous melodies that give us wood.  March on Buckos!

"Down the Road"

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ROCK. PAPER, SCISSORS. FISTS.

Sounds like someone had a bad RPS experience.  I kind of had a similar thing happen, but with hop scotch.  Tired of that little rock mocking me and telling me where I could and couldn't step, I kicked that mother f-er right off and had that toe go tippety tappin' on the square where it had been.  Yup, back then a day without danger was like a day without sunshine.

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DITA VON TEESE LESBIAN SEX TAPE. UH. WHOA.

Sometimes God does things that shows us that he loves us.  Like today, when Marlyn Manson's ex-wife and famous burlesque model, Dita Von Teese, had her lesbian sex tape released.  So the official score is: Lesbians = 1, all guys who aren't Marlyn Manson = 1, Marlyn Manson = - 345,234,235.  I can't post the video but you can link to it here.  Thankyoujesusthankyoujesus.

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