POLICEMAN VS. FIREMAN

I ran across this video series on YouTube called Policeman vs. Fireman.  In it, Fireman Jake and Policeman Perry compare their jobs; and each video ends with a nice little public service announcement.  Now, I don't have anything against police officers.  They have a tough job.  But they are a pain in the ass when you're trying to do something illegal.  If you've never broken the law, trust me on this.  They follow you around, take you places you don't want to go, talk all mean to you and won't let you have a soda until you answer a bunch of the same questions over and over again, then they'll drive you all over God's green Earth asking you to show them where you dumped the bodies... I mean, dang!... total buzz kill man.  I'm serious.

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Anyway, here's the first video in the series.  There are 7 others up on YouTube.  Keep it legal Buckos!

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Ok Buckos, I'm back!  And it's Friday!  Sweet Mother Mary Mothball a la sphincters - its Friday!

Babe tonight is Jennifer Walcott.  She was playmate of the month in August 2001.  And she's WTCCTR Friday's babe in May 2008.  I think we all know which one of those titles is going to give her career the bigger boost.  Let me put it this way: Playboy is going to have to come up with more than 70 readers each week to compete with the WTCCTR juggernaut.  Oh yeah, I ain't shittin' ya.  Way more funner pics of Jennifer here.

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The brew I'm soaking my pallette in at this writing is Yuengling Traditional Lager.  It has a crisp, clean taste with a smooth finish.  It's kinda heavy on the carbonation but is pretty friggin' delicioso if you ask me.  It could also have something to do with the fact that it's ice cold and I've been breathing in insulation all day.  But still a pretty solid brew.  If you're looking to mix up your beer purchase I'd go for it.  Remember it's extra good if you huff some insulation beforehand.  Beer Advocate rates it as a B- ... "worthy."  I'm cool with that.

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Tunage tonight is from St. Louis rock band Modern Day Zero.  The song is "Broken," which is a good description of my lungs right now.  I mean, every time I take a deep breath a little puff of asbestos comes out my asshole, which totally isn't normal for me.  Anyway, onto the tune.

"Broken"

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NOTHING GOOD TODAY.

Nothing good happening today so I thought I'd take this opportunity to clean up the site a little bit.  Goddam neathandrals, always mucking up my blog.  Stay strong Buckos!

TOP 5 SEXY COPS.

I don't think anyone is a big fan of the cops unless you have a gun planted in your puss.  But in WTCCTR-land getting pulled over for speeding is a lusty exercise in sexiness.  Rawr.

"Don't tase me Bro?!?"  I wouldn't mind a good tasing.

Hellloooo shin guards.

I think the garter belt doubles as a finger print kit.  Spiffy!

Yes, that is a nightstick I'm holding and I'm happy to see you.

Guilty.  Of smuggling a bone in my pants.

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BUY THESE STOCKS.

Investing is tricky business.  Like negotiating a price with a Vietnamese hooker on a rickshaw driven by her pimp... uh... I imagine.  But I've put myself in a virtual cock fight with the greatest investor of our time: Warren Buffett.  How?  Well, I went portfolio-to-portfolio with the rich turd at an on-line stock tracking site - Virtual Stock Exchange - where you can invest fake money in the real market to see how it performs.  I'll admit the market has been F-ed in the A lately; and 6 months isn't a lot of time, but here are the results:

Chicken portfolio --> + 12.09% 

Warren's portfolio --> +  6.41%

Ka-Pow!  I smoked his old sausage eating ass with a few simple stocks.  And here they are:

Wal*Mart ... 

savings from denying their workers health care - passed on to you!

Google ...

maintaining world-wide dominance is easy when you own most of the money ever printed.

Intel ...

making the tiny mechanical processors for the future Sky-Net.

Apple ...

unless people stop listening to music put your money with Senor Jobs pronto.

Starbucks...

the poorest performer of the bunch.  I guess paying $3 for a coffee isn't that important when you're losing your home.  Thanks W!

Well Buckos, no excuses now.  I guess there's just one question left: "Do you feel lucky punk?"  

Technorati Tags: stock picks, stocks, Dirty Harry, Warren Buffett, investing, stock market, market, portfolio

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FREE NINE INCH NAILS ALBUM

Trent Reznor - the man behind Nine Inch Nails - has hawked a big loogie in the eye of the RIAA by offering his latest album, "The Slip," for free, on-line, for everyone... for free.  Without charge.  On the house.  For free.  Now that's spiffy Buckos!  I'm recommending you download it even if you don't like their music.  Why?  Well... it's free... and you can't get in trouble for it... so why not?  It's like someone offering you a free piece of pie.  An awesome piece of synth-rock, dark-industrial metal pie that makes you want to kill pigs and kick piles o' shit while someone pierces the tip of your wang with a bent paperclip.  Dang I love pie!

Get the album from the NIN website, located here.

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JON FAVREAU IS A BIG FUCKIN' BEAR MAN.

I saw the new Iron Man movie this weekend.  It's getting a lot of great reviews and some are even calling it the best super-hero movie to date.  I'd have to say it's in a close race with the first Spider-Man movie for that title.  Even so, it was pretty fucking great.  Plus the $4.00 Reese's Pieces where delicious.  The director - Jon Favreau - will now be launched into the upper tier of directors like a space monkey.  I met him once at a film festival in upstate NY.  He's a really nice, funny, down-to-earth guy.  His first movie, Swingers (which he wrote and directed), is a classic.  Vince Vaughn co-stars and steals a lot of the scenes.  Here's a clip to help Jon remember the good old days - when he was a poor struggling hilarious slob like the rest of us. 

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