Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road...?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW???

Ant eaters wearing sweaters... WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I'm a nerdy little prick. I'm not quite smart enough to be a "geek" so that puts me solidly in the "nerd" category. And like a good nerd I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I even remember going to see the original in the movie theater - in 1977 - 16 times. Oh yeah. That's how you get in the nerd club Buckos. By the time The Empire Strikes Back rolled around I was balls deep in puberty; so seeing Carrie Fisher in the metal bikini made me aware of the stubby little hotness in my pants. Soon after I became a virtuoso on the old skin flute and have practiced every day since. I guess you could say I'm a Jedi master with my horn.

In tribute to my wang's coming out party here are the top 5 sexy Princess Leias.

Let me show you my Ewok.

Mmmmm... space beers.

Hey, this is the first chick. I think this is her everyday clothes.

She's shiny from Lando's spooge.

If I ran into her in high school my entire crotchal region would have exploded off my body.

All for now my beautiful bitches. May the force be with you ... and your dorks.

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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

5 RANDOM DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS.

Tuesday: the second most depressing day of the week. In the spirit of Tuesday's life sucking properties, I posted some public service announcements that are amusing yet de-motivating.

Shit bricks? I got news for you, my middle name is "shit bricks."

Technorati Tags: tuesday, demotivational poster, babe, beer, boobs, tunes, humor, cash

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Monday, June 2, 2008

SELLING YOUR BODY FOR MONEY... RIGHT ON!

Salutations my beautiful bitches. I'm back after a weekend hiatus to enjoy the weather, beers, some weed, lobster, more weed, 4 showers, and trying to remember where I parked my car.

With gas and food prices shooting through the roof we need to find places to make a little extra cash. I, personally, like to sell my hair and urine. Only in America can you squirt some piss and get your head shaved - and get paid for it. Stuff you can also sell: skin, breast milk (I don't have any of that myself but can get some), blood, your womb, and tears. So strip down and pony up here. Oh baby.

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Friday, May 30, 2008

FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Handshakes all around Buckos! It's Friday... when the babes and tunes flow like wine here at WTCCTR.

This smoke-a-lisious babe is Gemma Atkinson. Like last Friday's babe, she's English... so I'm sure having straight teeth and a delicious tray of tea and scrumpets is all it would take to sweep her off her boobs.... I mean feet. Feet. More pictures of her here.

No. Don't try and stop me. I'm gonna do it. It's a done deal. //sippage// Ahhh... good old PBR. My first PBR experience was inflicted in my freshman year at college. My roommate's parents were "progressive" and purchased about 8 cases for him at the start of our semester. It was supposed to last the semester (I guess). Instead it got drunk in about 4 weeks. And mostly by me as my roomie was pledging a fraternity and banging other freshman. The dope.

HA! Ha ha! Hey Nick, I drank all your PBR! HA! And I never replaced it did I?! Ha ha... er... um... never mind.

So the review: PBR is great if you're a depressed 18 year old having a torrid romance with your left hand; and your refrigerator is cranked to "9" on the cold dial. Otherwise, just drink your own piss and save the $4. Beer Advocate rates it a C ... "mediocre."

Decyfer Down: poster boys for why white dudes shouldn't have dreadlocks. Or, Counting Crows with half a nut sack. Take your pick. Either way, they wrote some snazzy little tunage entitled "Walking Dead." And all of us who have ever been prison raped know what they're talking about.... wait... what the hell'd I just say?

"Walking Dead"

Here's a bonus pic of Gemma for all you hearty bitches who actually read my posts through to the bitter end. I love you fuckers.

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

TOP 5 SEXY SAILORS.

Permission to come aboard Buckos! Tonight I'm posting some sexy sailors. And, while I fancy myself quite the swashbuckler, I usually get a nasty case of the spewies when I get on the open water; so this is about as close I'll ever get to being an actual sailor. But that's ok because I'm a sailor of love in a vast, lusty sea; angling for adventure and bitches. So let's shove off shall we.