CAKE FARTS.

Hey, Happy Sunday.  Today is traditionally a day of rest and worship.  So in that spirit, I present cake farts.  Soak it all in... or should I say, 'Smell it all in.'  Stay strong Bitches.

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Cake Farts

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

I saw the new Batman movie, The Dark Night, today.  It kind of blew me away so I'm starting tonight's post with one of the Joker's qirky, murderous little quotes -- "And here.  We.  Go."

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WTCCTR Readers - meet Sherri Gulley.  Sherri Gulley - meet the WTCCTR rockstars.  Sherri is a medical assistant in Florida and is open to doing nude modeling.  Yes and please and thank you.  Oh, and she's 36 years old and a single mother of 2... so we know she's open to taking a roll in the hay and has awesome genetics.  I mean, how do you have 2 kids and snap back with a body like that?!  I suppose her poon smells like strawberries too.  Cripes!  More pics of the ultimate MILF here.

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The brew tonight is called Maudite.  The picture above is the label and, I gotta admit, I chose this beer because it scared the shit out of me.  I mean, is it me, or do those fuckers look like they're rowing a boat to Hell?  But I wrestled my fear like an alligator with bull-tits and was able to carefully consider six of these little beauties.  All I can say is that if this really is the beer they serve in Hell - sign me up!  It was awesome!  Hard to describe the taste really except to say that it was a little sweet and spicy at the same time.  Totally delicious.  Plus it has an 8% alcohol content.  Yummy in the old tummy.  Beer Advocate agrees with me and awards this beer the grade of A- ... "excellent."  Nice brew Satan!

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Tunage tonight is "Follow You Down" by Blindside.  They are another Christian rock band (last week's band were Jesus freaks too).  But since this week's beer is actually from Hell I'm guessing it's good to balance things out a little bit... keep the whole yin and yang thing going.  I mean, who wants to piss off Jesus?  Not me.  I already have a dead hooker and a Cleveland steamer counting against me (separate incidents, by the way).

"Follow You Down"

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GIVING BIG OIL THE FINGER.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sick of eating a shit sandwich every time I fill up my gas tank these days.  And I'm tired of hearing how much money the oil companies are making.  Oh yeah... and I'm tired of oil company executives going before Congress saying they don't make any money on the sale of gasoline.  I'm ready to give Big Oil the big finger.  How?  No mystery here Bitches... the answer is electric.  Between now and 2010 there are about 30 companies that are going to be releasing 100% electric vehicles.  Sure they look like clown cars but I'm willing to slap on a big red rubber nose and pair of balloon pants if it means I can tell these guys to go suck my nozzle.  One of those companies is called Think.  The information on their offering to the electric car market is here.

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So here's to me tea-bagging you Exxon-Mobil!  You're not going to have my supple rump to kick around after 2009.  Aaahhh  hahhhahhhhaaaa hahhaa.

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Oh, and here's a free cup of joe.  

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Peace Bitches.

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MY WORKOUT.

Hey there Bitches!  Wanna give me a spot?  Heh, for those of you not familiar with gym lingo that means 'keep an eye on me while I lift this hugemongous mass of weight and make sure I don't drop it on myself.'  I've been hearing a lot about how us Americans are all obese and have pretty rank stools.  Now, I can't do much about the second thing; but I might be able to help out with the first part of that equation - the fatness.  

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Tonight I'm posting a video of my daily workout.  Watch closely and take notes because, as you can see, it's pretty fucking effective.  The only real downside is that if I drop any coins I'm not able to adjust my muffularity in order to pick them up.  I just have to leave them there.  To date, I've had to abandon $47592.oo in loose change... I guess that's the price of being balls deep in awesome.

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I'M IN LOVE.

It's not often that I run into a female of the opposite sex that makes my loins swell with desire so much so that I forget how I'm really the man; and how I shouldn't be trailing any little chickie around holding my wenis in my hand like a beggars cup.  But then a rare skeezer comes along with the ideal mix of looks, personality, charm, and poise.  That's Little J - the sweet sweet creature featured in the video below.  Little J, if you're out there reading this, please email me with your contact information.  It's been too long since I've been in the presence of an angel... *sigh*

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TWO AWESOME-NESS-ES.

There's an old saying that 'like attracts like.'  So, being hugely awesome myself, I tend to attract awesomeness.  Today that took the shape of some hot wheels and fast fists.

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I'm a big motorcycle fan.  And when I ran into the 2008 Suzuki Hayabusa this weekend I pretty much saw God.  If you're not a motorcycle person or have not seen a Hayabusa then I'm gonna say you're a dick; because it's a perfect piece of engineering.  The best way to describe riding on one is 'orgasm on demand.'  Oh, yeah, and it's starting price is just over $10,000.oo  Ha ha... what?!  With a 0-60 time of 1.5 seconds (the video below says 2.5 seconds, but that's an older model) that makes it fastest vehicle per dollar on the face of the Earth.  Not to mention that it will blow the doors off anything on the road.  Check it out:

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I was wrapping up the day with some movies and caught "The Rundown" starring The Rock.  I'd seen it before but was reminded of how sublime the ass beating of the first 6 minutes was.  Best opening scene of an action movie starring The Rock released in the last 10 years ever.  Er... yeah.

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That's all for tonight.  Stay awesome Bitches.

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TOP 5 RANDOM PICTURES THAT SMOKE MY MEAT.

Greetings and salutations Troops.  My weekends are usually pretty packed with righting injustices; and bedding the lonely yet smoking hot women who I meet in the course of my adventures.  So you can understand how it can sometimes be tough duty finding time to make a post.  But you're in luck because I just saved the orphanage from foreclosure; and sent home the lusty banker with the heart of gold (pictured above) ... her pants full of memories.  Now, before I maow down a bowl of granola and hit the hay, I thought I'd throw some righteousness out to the WTCCTR army.  

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Here are 5 random pictures I snagged while surfing around this crazy little thing we call the Internet.  The only thing they have in common is that they all made me chuckle to the point of skidding up the old tightey-whiteys.  Got some on my wang too.  

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Stay strong my Bitches.  May your underwear always be free from pisses and shits.

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