LETS START THE WEEKEND!

Sometimes, the best way to start a weekend is with a popsicle.... a motherfu*king popsicle.

LIGHTSABER VS. SUPERMAN

I fancy myself as being pretty spiffy with this whole Internet thing. I got my finger on it's digital pulse so to speak. So, I can say unequivocally that there hasn't been dick of interest going on in cyberspace lately. I mean, there's the usual fart video, a some free mashed-up tunes, and people being outraged by [insert controversial political issue here]; but nothing unique. Still, I wanted to throw a post against the wall to let you - the WTCCTR Army - know that we still march on. Lack of content will not hold us back. But I gotta post something and all I could find was this crappy article about what would happen if you hit Superman with a light saber. Check out the piece of crap here. Yeah... I know... I got nothin.

HELL'S COMIN' WITH ME!

I was channel surfing tonight when I came across an old flick that probably has the best pwnage scene in modern movie history. The movie is "Tombstone;" and the scene shows Wyatt Earp declaring war on the Cowboy gang - who have just killed his youngest brother. If I live to be a million years old I'll never say anything half as cool as this. I mean, there was that one time I got pissed off at the post office and, while I was yelling at Mr. I-Want-Extra-Postage, I broke out into a mini scat/beatbox interlude - and then went right back into my tirade. That was pretty cool. I think I was channeling Biggie Smalls or some other dead rapper... or I have early onset tourettes syndrome. One of the two... umm... now that I'm thinking COCKHEAD about it, it's probably SHITHEEL the second FISTUALA one. Stay strong ASSHAT brothers.

YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY SEX TAPE?

You know, Webster was a great show. It was on from 1983 to 1987 and was just a nice, wholesome sitcom starring Emmanuel Lewis. But it's been over 20 years since the show left the air and some people might wonder, Hmmm... I wonder if Emmanuel Lewis ever ended up doing a sex tape? Well, now you can find out. A site called Dazereader has a page that lists out all the celebrities who may have put out some celluloid of themselves banging their genitals against someone... or something. Unfortunately, it won't link you to the video if they did leak a tape. But that's ok because who really wants to see Mini Me (Verne Troyer) humping on someone? Christ on a cracker... it's like playing Russian Roulette with your libido. No thanks man. But just in case you're feeling lucky, you can check out the site here. And if you want to get that Mini Me image out of your head, here's a short clip of Jessica Simpson in a bikini. OH, but before I forget, we have a winner for the best news headline of 2009: Ted Willaims frozen head was placed on an empty tuna can and beaten with a monkey wrench at a cryogenics lab. Yeah. Really. ... And now, on to the bikini!

PLEASE HELP US FIND THE CRIMINAL RODNEY STENGER.

There's a special place in hell for people who abuse children and animals. So, when we have a chance to catch one of these depraved bastards, I think everyone should do a little extra to try and bring the person to justice. Tonight is one of those times. Please watch the brief video below. Get a good look at the accused child abductor Rodney Stenger. If you see him skulking around your neighborhood call someone with a uniform and have this SOB brought to justice. I want hard time. That means no running wheel... er... exercise yard either. Just 24 hour lock down. Food pellets... er.. bread and water. And that's it.

THE HEALING OF AMERICA

This guy to the left here is T.R. Reid. He's a reporter who traveled all over the world looking at their health care systems, and then wrote a nifty little book. But since reading sucks he gave a seminar summarizing his findings. The link to the video is here. Heads up to everyone: it's over 1 hour long. The first half hour is very worth watching because he objectively compares our system to almost every other industrialized country - and puts the current debate playing out on tv everyday into some kind of context. The second half hour is his basically advocating for a public system followed by a question/answer period. The question/answer part is pretty interesting too. Agree or disagree, this dude knows his health care; and he does a good job of summarizing the whole issue in plain English. But, if all that sounds like a needle in the eye, you have my blessing to skip it all and just check out this hot nurse. Can I get an amen?

REDNECK NINJA

Well, I'm still trying to build a ninja army. With the economy the way it is you'd think there'd be a lot of them looking for work, but I'll take a Chinese star to the eye if I can find any. I mean, how am I supposed to implement Operation Finger Bang without some stealthy Asians? ... What's Operation Finger Bang? you ask... Well, if you're not female and between the ages of 24 and 77 you really don't have to worry about it. If you are, just know that it takes ninjas. Lots of ninjas. And not the ass-clown kind like the guy below.