FIVE *MORE* RANDOM PHOTOS

Here are some random photos I found while surfing this wonderful place called the world wide web. Oh, plus I'm playing around with a new font tonight, because I'm a borderline maniac; and that's how I roll on a Saturday night. In fact, right after I'm done with this I'm gonna try and kick myself in the nuts.

The Church of the Immaculate Dirty Harry

Prom photo. Someone is going to regret something in the morning.

Enlarge to enjoy the sarcasm in it's entirety.

Goddam Bill. Ever consider decaf?

Best. Advice. Ever.

DESTROYING THE DRUMS

Hey. Ever see anyone absolutely destroy the drums? If you haven't, you're going to now. Tonight I'm posting a video of Travis Barker setting down the drum track to a tune called "Forever" by a dude called Drake. ... I know, but it's a cool video. The catch is that the song was made about 1000% cooler when it was mashed up with Eminem. Despite the mix-up fanciness, it's still Mr. Barker attacking the drums on the track, and it's awesome. The last time I went at something like that it was all you can eat Swiss Colony Beef Log at Pepperidge Farm.

VETERANS DAY.

So I haven't been around in a while. It's been a crazy few weeks involving international intrigue, malicious espionage, nefarious subterfuge, pancakes made with breast milk, and a wicked case of the chafies. So, anyway, I thought I'd ease back into this with a tribute to all our veterans. Thank you. Without you, retards with a wise mouth like myself, would be one of the first slated for castration in the public square. And that would really f-up my sublime singing voice. **Ahem... Doe - a deer - a female deer...**

CRUSH THE CASTLE

I'm not a huge fan of those on-line flash games. They're kind of like electronic masturbation but without the happy ending... and genitals. But I started playing Crush The Castle a few days ago and haven't stopped since. I'm not going to get into explaining it here. It's pretty easy to figure out. Once you take out the first castle it'll be like time travelling: the next time you become self-aware it'll be two days later and you'll be wallowing in a puddle of your own excrement. Yeah, it's that good. Click below for the link. Pip pip cheerio!

CRUSH THE CASTLE

I THOUGHT WE WERE WAY COOLER THAN THIS

One of my biggest pet-peeves is when America looks stupid. But then I watched this video and realized that I'm swimming against the tide big time in wanting Americans to appear smart and sophisticated to the rest of the world. So I'm just gonna kick back with a pork rind and my blue jean cutoffs and breathe deep the sweet musty odor of mediocrity. Join me won't you? By the way, the music for this video is perfect.

SAMBOOOOOO DEE... OK...?

The Dow is over 10000 this week. Gas in Afghanistan is $400 a gallon. People are too f*cked up to buy their sixers. And there's another cool mash-up of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." But that's not what I'm writing about tonight. Nope. I'm writing about a prank call to a Chinese restaurant, because I have no sense of priority whatsoever; and politically incorrect humor is awesome. Oh, that reminds me... did you hear the one about the Muslim terrorist, the gay priest, and the aborted fetus who were protesting for a public health care option...? Nah, me either. But wouldn't it be awesome if there really was a joke that started like that?

AND YOU'RE NEXT KATO...!

Ok, so this video is all over the internet right now. I usually skip the low hanging fruit but it's mildly amusing. The video is a practical joke on a guy where they make it look like everyone in the room is being shot by a sniper. So that's funny right? I guess so... unless you're the guy who looks like he shits his pants about 1000 times. I don't know what all the anxiety is about. I mean, aren't all adult Japanese males ninjas anyway? Karate chop the bullet bro. Sheesh. By the way, I'm still in the process of building my ninja army. If you know any good ones send 'em my way. Hiya!