MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS.

Sweet greetings you beautiful bastards.  We all need a little motivation sometimes.  For me it's usually at the the end of the month when I haven't reached my quota for banging hot babes... that's when I know I have to crank up the old wang action.  So tonight I thought I'd feature a few motivational posters... er... yeah, I guess you could call them motivational.  Or retarded.  So either motivational or retarded are the choices.  Funny how those two things are often intertwined.

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Technorati Tags: motivation, motivational, religion, booze, boobs, beers, funny

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AUTOMATIC ONLINE MONEY MANAGEMENT.

Say hey Buckos.  Tonight I'm reviewing the website Mint.com.  It's a free online service that will compile all your financial data automatically; and then put it in reports showing transactions, spending trends, and "ways to save."  It's a great service for me because I tend to avoid looking at my financial situation in detail - it usually sends me into swirls of depression and terrific fits of incontinence.  The catch: you have to provide them with access to all your accounts.  That means giving them your checking account number, your ATM pin number, your credit card numbers, etc.  The pucker factor with doing something like this is about 4000 on a scale from 1 to 10.  So, being the canary in the coal mine, I did all this about 2 weeks ago to see how it would work.  Would it track my finances or would my accounts get drained by some some pimply virgin living in Zimbabwe or some shit?  So what happened.... ?

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It's been over two weeks and the service has worked great.  I've checked my bank and credit card daily for suspicious transactions and there hasn't been any.  If they were going to take my cash I imagine they would have done that almost immediately.  Their analysis showed me spending almost $200 on "kids/education" - and I don't have any kids!  So there's one area I can make some righteous savings right there!  Lastly, it's given me "ways to save."  Some things are credit cards with a lower interest rates and checking accounts that earn interest.  You can sign up for these suggested services right on their site.  My only suggestion here is to read the fine print because some of the special offers they give you go down the old poop chute if you don't follow their directions to the letter.

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My final verdict is a thumbs up - if you have the cajones to enter all your personal financial information.  Which I, of course, do.  Plenty of cajones on this side of the screen Buckos!  

Technorati Tags: mint, online budget management, budgeting, financial, management, finances, boobs, beer

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LESSONS IN BEING A REAL MAN - PART 1.

Howdy Ho Buckos.  Tonight we're looking at increasing our manhood a little.  Let's face it, modern society has most of us pretty pansy-ified.  Four hundred years ago men were fighting each other with swords and battle axes.  Fast forward to modern day when the closest many of us get to that is a little bit of road rage against the senior citizen who's driving 10mph below the posted limit.  Fortunately, I've been able to stay in touch with my primordial machoness through exhaustive nun-chuck training and banging hot chicks.  So follow me my Buckos, into the valley of testosterone and steel gonads; for the first in the "Man Series" - a re-education of what it means to be a red-blooded, blue-balled man. 

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Technorati Tags: how to be a man, man, machoness, manliness, road, rage, boobs, beer

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OUR BUDDY IS BACK.

Yeah, this crazy bastard is back.  I posted another picture of him trying to blow off his weenis.  I dunno... I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's single.  It's a little hard for me to relate since I'm so devilishly handsome and sincere.  Can someone please get this guy out of his house before he uses all the automatic weapons he's stock piling.  You know, out for a coffee or something - but be sure to make it a decaf for chrissakes.

Technorati Tags: beer, boobs, babes, lethal, water

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Salutes and salutations my rag-tag chicken army.  Let's fire up the boobs!

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Boobs and ballet go together like carpentry and anal-fisting but I went with tonight's babe anyway: former ballerina Lisa Marie Scott.  She was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in February 1995 which, ironically enough, is the same month and year my balls dropped... coincidence?  Anyway, she went on to graduate Summa Cum Laude from UCLA.  Now I'm not sure what "summa" and "laude" mean but I'm pretty sure about that middle word; and after seeing some of these other pictures I'd say it's time for a beer.

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I'm not usually a fan of the newest Big-Brewery-Ice-Roadhouse-Light Lo-Carb-in-a-hemp-lined-can beer.  But, like the first monkey strapped to a rocket and shot into the cold death of space - I have adventure in my heart goddammit... and someone recommended it to me.

I'll just cut to the chase: if you've ever drank seltzer water that's had a piece of iron soaking in it for about a week to ten days you already know what this grog is packing.  Beer Advocate rates is a D+ - "avoid" - based on 105 reviews.

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The musical notes in the keys of C and E-flat emanating from my sphincter today have inspired tonight's musical selection.  It's "Inhale" from Edgewater.  Oh, and before I link to the song I'm including a bonus picture of tonight's babe.  Because I love you maniacs who suckle the WTCCTR teat.  Stay classy Buckos!

"Inhale" by Edgewater

Technorati Tags: lisa marie scott, playboy playmate, playmate, edgewater, michelob ultra amber, babes, boobs, tunes, summa cum laude

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WAIT... SMELL MY WHAT???

About every 10 to 15 days something will confirm I'm pretty much right on track with my thinking.  Politics, religion, culture, thongs... I'm scary in touch with all that shit.  So when I see a video like the one posted below it's like a familiar tap on the shoulder from God and he says, 'Right again kid.'  This time I happen to be right about rap, and urban culture in general (e.g., baggy jeans, cockeyed baseball caps, ebonics).  Mainly, that's it's a bunch of ridiculous crap - a "wack" banana peel under the foot of America.  Check out the first minute or so of the video just to get the idea because watching the whole thing has been shown to induce severe mental assification.

Now, if someone held a gun to my head and threatened to steal my penis if I didn't listen to a rap tune I could make it through this without completely ruining my underpants.

So, yo, what it do my bitches.... *cough*... I mean, stay strong Buckos!

Technorati Tags: smell your dick, dick, ali g, rap, boobs, beer

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TOP 5 FRENCH MAIDS.

Even though they're cowards the French have made some pretty nifty contributions to culture: toast, fries, dressing and - the greatest one of all - the French maid.  Oh sweet Mary yes... for they are one of the most developed life forms on our planet; a perfect combination of form and function.  Seriously.  How many things in this life get your apartment clean and get your gut stick to stand on it's tippy toes.

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So I rummaged through the internet to find the five best pictures of French maids.  And by "best" I mean boner-riffic.  I wish I could dust with my dong.

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I like to call this one, "Helga waits for permission."  Don't ask me why but it sounds good and dirty... get it?!?  She's a maid... it's dirty.... uh... ok... moving on... 

It would take me a solid week to climb up this woman's legs... and frolic in the lush valley called poodie-tang.

Awww... she forgot her duster.  'Dang you, you little scamp.'

Is it me or are those shoes reminiscent of a fairy tale... from a beautiful, lusty, premature ejaculatory childhood.

I'm kind of like the Crocodile Dundee of cleavage - it speaks to me.  And this cleavage says, "Oui.  Oui... you chicken choking bastard."  'Yes' and 'please' and 'thank you.'  

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