WHEN YOU CAN GRAB THE PEBBLE FROM MY HAND GRASSHOPPER...

A few years ago "The Secret" came out and was a big deal for telling people that life is mostly mind over matter. Before that there was "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle, who was pretty anxious to have people not think about anything more than 5 inches in front of their face. Going back again you have "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. He got all googley-eyed around understanding how your ego works... and somehow that would make you feel f*cking spiffy. Then, back in the late 60's, you had the classic "I'm OK, You're OK" by Thomas Harris. This guy sums up everyones actions into parent, child, or adult; and understanding that will give you some great insight. Well, all that stuff is pretty much high-grade crapola. I've found a new way of dealing with the world, a new philosophy, a new mojo if you will. It's called "Fuck It." I've been using it about a week now and I feel fucking great! For example, people will get all stressed out when their power gets shut off but it's really not that bad. Seriously. The toilet works without electricity, so what's the big deal? ... Stay groovy... or not... fuck it.

Technorati Tags: the secret, the road less travelled, the power of now, i'm ok you're ok, tolle, peck, harris, fuck, it, boobs

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

GODDAM THIS GUY IS TALENTED

Hey, you guys know Eminem right? Well, imagine if Eminem was British and had talent... he'd be a dude named DubFx. I have a ton of respect for any musician, mainly because I can't even play the kazoo without inducing seizures in the elderly and scaring the neighborhood cats; but here's a guy who makes righteous tunes without any instrument. He uses a machine to record his voice then sings over that. It sounds pretty awful in theory, but he blew my mind out of my ass the first time I heard him. Mr. Fx is so talented he made me feel like I had some rhythm for about 30 seconds. At least that's what I thought it was. Pfft... I mean, technically I just pissed myself... but I think it was to the beat. Anyway, check out the video below. I think some of his other videos/songs on YouTube are better but he explains how he gets his tunage on in this one. Stay groovy Bitches.

Technorati Tags: dub fx, eminem, talented, beat box, beat, box, billy mays, orange glo, piss, tunage, doobage, brown chicken

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

CRAP! THE MOST DYNAMIC ENTERTAINER OF A GENERATION IS DEAD!

The man who defined a generation - Billy Mays - is f*cking dead! Crap! (I bet you thought I was talking about someone else) I've featured him a few times on this site (here and here) because no one was able to polish a turd like Billy Mays, not even that Vince guy. See, what Billy had that no one else did was his consistency. The sheer volume of shit he turned into shinola is unmatched in modern day info-mercials. I think you'd have to go back to the early 1900's when Hiram Todd Dewey was peddling joint ointment made out of pig snouts and actual human excrement to find someone even close to Billy's level. So tonight's post is a tribute to him. Here's to you Mr. Mays. If anyone could have bought the farm... and then got one free... it's you.

Technorati Tags: dead, greatest entertainer, billy mays, jabooody dubs, oxy clean, furious, fenis

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

SOME HOUSECLEANING BEFORE BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

I'm trying to go green. So, when I was cleaning out my downloads folder and found a few miscellaneous items that didn't get posted for whatever reason, I decided to put them up instead of just tossing them away like some kind of wasteful bastard. No one likes that shit. And I'm going to finish it off with a cover of "Burning Down The House" done by a band called The Used... because it's ball-rattllingly awesome. Stay in school.

Technorati Tags: burning down the house, the used, transformers 2, michael jackson, autopsy

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

OH MY GOODNESS INDEED.

Great art is often ruined by the words surrounding it. So I'll omit most of my usual engaging and insightful commentary and just let the piece speak for itself.

Technorati Tags: fart, news, health, care, sanford, chicken tits

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

NOW *THIS* IS HOW YOU PISS MONEY AWAY

If you followed my rants during the campaign at all, you know I'm a Ron Paul fan; mostly because he's the only guy who made a sliver of fucking sense when he spoke. It's good to see he hasn't changed any since the election because today, on his website, he outlines some of the obscene expenditures our government is currently engaged in:

$660 Million to Gaza

$555 Million to Israel

$310 Million to Egypt

$300 Million to Jordan

$420 Million to Mexico

$889 Million to the UN (for "peacekeeping" missions)

$1 BILLION sent "overseas to address the global financial crisis outside our borders"

$8 BILLION for a "potential pandemic flu"

$108 BILLION to the International Monetary Fund (all $ will be spent overseas)

I know what you're thinking: 'Gee, that's great... but who gives a crap?' Well, first: all this is $ we're just giving away to all these douche bags. Seriously. Can someone f*cking explain to me why we're spending $8 BILLION on the goddam flu?!? Anyone? Bueller? Second: it's all $ we're borrowing from China. This means that China basically owns our country and could make us start speaking their chicken scratch language if they wanted to. And, just for good measure, they could bring our country to it's knees without firing a single shot. One other interesting little tid-bit... if our government didn't piss away our money like they were buying blow jobs - and we didn't have any debt - our income taxes would be 40% LOWER. Interesting huh? If you'd like to let your representatives know how interesting you think all this is I suggest you drop them a line. You can find them here. Ok. Now that that's taken care of, let's all chill out with a righteous babe. Play on Player.

MINOR PROGRAMMING NOTE

Because of the crushing volume of reader mail I receive, people have expressed doubt that I actually go through it all. Ah, but I do. I even follow up on some of the silly shit people throw at me. Tonight is a case in point. A reader wanted to have captions for all the righteous babes I feature in the right margin of the blog. So, ok... starting tonight any of the babes that have their name below their picture will also have a link - if you click their picture - to even more pictures of them. For all you youngsters out there: it's doing magnamous shit like this that gets you the title "swell guy." Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: keely hazell, hot babes, links, swell, dude, magnamous, obama, bush, cheney, iran

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator