FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Howdy Ho my beautiful Bitches.  It's f*cking Friday... and we all know what that means.

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Say 'hello' to my little friend.... ahem... er... Jamie Ford.  She's 23 years old and a personal trainer.  The pictures I'm featuring are from her Playboy spread "Sexy Wives."  Ok, so she's 23 and married.  I don't know about you but in my book that equals idiot. Ah... just how I like 'em.  She's probably dazzled by shiny objects.  Sounds like it's time for the old wrap-my-nuts-in-tinfoil-and-shine-a-LED light-on-them trick.  Yupper.  Works every time.  More pics of her here.

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A ha!  I'm throwing you a curve ball this week with the old beer-skis.  This is a re-review of Arrogant Bastard Ale.  I posted Beer Advocate's review last week but didn't have any to sample myself.  But I found a sixer.  So here we go.  Now, BA gave it an "A" grade.  I was anxious to try it and when I found it in my local beverage center I fell to the floor and wept.  I was already intoxicated - by joy.  Malt-ey, hop-ey joy.  When I went to check out I got to cry all over again, but for a different reason.  F*cker was $20 for a 6 pack.  Now I'm thinking this stuff has to be incredible.  It's gotta taste like poon and $100 bills.  I'll cut to the chase: it was good - not great.  It is a solid, strong (7.9% alcohol) brew but it tastes very similar to Sam Adams Imperial Lager.. that is to say, it's very hop-pey tasting.  The bottom line: I give it a "B-".  If it wasn't $3/bottle I might have given it a "B" or "B+", but it did so "B-".  Arrogant bastard.

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Tune tonight is "Endless Struggle" by Throw The Fight.  They're an alt-rock band out of Minneapolis.  There isn't much more about them as a band.  So.  Yeah.  Whatever.  They have a dumb name anyway.

"Endless Struggle"

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So that's all for today.  Thanks for playing WTCCTR.  Join us next time when we ask the question, 'Colostomy bags: friend or foe?'

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SIX WICKED PHOTO BOMBS.

Taking pictures is kind of dumb.  I mean, how often do you pull out the old photo albums and flip through memory lane?  If you do it at all - ever - it's usually with someone who hasn't seen the pictures; and who could probably give two fantastic turds about your first communion or you and your ex-wife's trip to Barbados.  Or f*king whatever.  My point is: pictures are a mind-numbing waste of time.  So I get a warm tingle from my lower back that stretches into my nuts when I see photo bombers.  If you don't know what that is, a photo bomber is someone who jumps in the picture at the last minute or otherwise does something retarded in the background that "ruins" the picture.  I put that in quotes because I think it only makes them 1000% better but, hey, that's from a dude who doesn't own one piece of clothing without a stain on it... usually in the front and back. ... What?  I can't help it if I have control issues.  Stay strong and say 'cheese' you logy Bitches.

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I'll bet a $1000 that white kid is holding a pimp cup.

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Yeah, he's thinking what you're thinking.

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Jerry never did figure out why his nickname was "The Dildo."

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Wait...shhh... it looks like he's trying to communicate.

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Taken just before Jewey McBoner had to go to the car to change.

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The Rembrandt of photo bombing.  Well played Sir.

PS- For a lot more photo bombs go here.

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THE MAN WHO *SHOULD* BE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT.

Although I try to stay out of politics I do find it interesting.  Kind of like the way I'm interested in the person who shoves bamboo shards underneath my fingernails or shoots righteous amounts of electricity into my ball bag.  And I can't remember ever having seen any candidate - past or present - where I say to myself 'Oh shit.  That's the guy for the job!'  But that all changed today.  In this political season I've found the guy who should be our next president - Bob.  He operates a web site - Drinking With Bob - where he posts rants about different topics; some political, some not.  But, shit-dang, I love his take on things.  So I don't know what you Bitches are doing for the election, but I'm writing in "Bob."  Suck on that Ohio!

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PS- Keep an eye on his t-shirts in the different videos.  Brilliant sonofabitch.

PSS- After watching about 5 of his "rants" you'll be doing his cool down at the end with him.  

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5 RANDOM PICTURES THAT MADE ME SHIT BRICKS.

I come across some crazy shit while I'm groping my way across the world wide web.  But it's how I got my Vietnamese bride - Chow Chow Chick A Pee - and how I was able to make my penis three inches longer (in that order).  So it's not all sour grapes and pancake tits.  For one reason or another I shit bricks when I saw these pictures.  

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Bitch really let herself go.  Dayum.

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Old pic but Jersey fags are the white equivalent of ghetto prom.

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Cookie Monster is a prick after he's been hittin' the pipe.

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Says it all really.

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Another fucking reason to fucking hate fucking clowns.

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TAXES HURT MY SPHINCTER - PART 6

Sweet salutations WTCCTR faithful.  I'm back with the next installment of the movie "Freedom To Fascism," a little ditty about the governments legal authority (or lack thereof) to tax our income.  The clip below shows what happens when the IRS decides they want to audit your records; and has a scene with a Congressman years before he became well known for trying out a run for the presidency - Ron Paul.  It also goes on to give a different view on debt and credit than you're used to: the money you owe (for your house and car and to American Express) - and those "good credit scores" you chase - make you Uncle Sam's salad tosser. That's why I will only borrow money from family and friends. The 0% interest rate is pretty sweet; except with my Uncle Irving who charged me a pack of Lucky Strikes and made me shave off half his moustache (long story) for $50 I borrowed once.  Well... I didn't really "borrow" it... he gave it to me in a card for my 13th birthday.  But I guess I always knew he marched to a different drummer.  Like when he had me help him bury a dead goat in a field at 4:30am one morning and tell me if I ever mentioned it to anyone I'd "dance the two step like a virgin with a hateful cooter."  So, since I'm mentioning it now, if I don't update here for more than two days; have the authorities check all the dance clubs for a manly looking broad with a dirty crotch.  Stay strong.

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PS- previous posts on this topic are here.

 

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YOU WON'T SEE THIS ON ANY OLYMPIC HIGHLIGHTS.

So there was this big uproar when the olympics began about all the human rights abuses in China; how China oppresses it's people, so we should boycott the games.  And I'll go on record as saying fascism pretty much sucks.  But there are some things about it that are pretty cool.  Like how it handles people who act like dicks and start demanding stuff...

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Chow mein for bitches.

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Tip o' the hat to all the fine gentlemen and fanciful ladies out there in the WTCCTR audience.  The week is over and it didn't suck.  A little work, a little beer, solved a few crimes, mastered the stop-a-fan-with-my-tongue trick - finally!  One more trip to the emergency room and I would have won a free sponge bath.  But that's not important now.  Frothy nipples wait in the wings!

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Ok, this is Hillary Fisher.  She's a 24 year old Playboy model and student from Georgia.  Aside from her obvious assets, she's pretty interesting: she's getting a degree in baking and pastry arts for the love of sweet pootietang... and her hero is Martha Stewart!  Ain't that some shit.  Hey Hillary, I'll have a muffin and two cupcakes!  F-yeah baby... that's how I roll.  More pics of her here.  

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The brew tonight is Arrogant Bastard Ale by Stone Brewery.  It's made in California so I'm doing a review without actually having drank the damn beer.  Like the entry I did for Westvleteren 12 , this is one musty maltey mother that's on my wish list.  I'm trying to track it down through a local distributor but for tonight I'm going with Beer Advocate's A rating - "outstanding."  Fucker.

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The tune I'm hoping will blow your rectum out is called "Savior" by the band Skillet.  Yet another Christian rock band for chrissakes.  They're from Memphis, Tennessee.  If I didn't know they were a rock band I'd say they played bluegrass or some kind of kumbaya crapola - they have that short-bus look in their eyes.  But, hey, they've been around for awhile and even have a few Grammy nominations.  Christian, recognized by the industry and yet, somehow, they manage not to suck balls.  Huh.  

"Savior"

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That's all for now.  Summer is winding down so enjoy the weekend - fart on the grill, cannon ball the public pool, and take hits off a bong carved out of your favorite fruit!  I'm a big fan of pineapple.  Stay strong Bitches.

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