FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

"I'm thirsty!  I'm randy!  And I want to shake a tailfeather!"  If this is you Bucko, you've come to the right place.  Yessirreebob.

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The babe this week is Jo Garcia.  She's Playboy's Cyber Girl of the Year for 2008 (whatever that means).  She was born right here in good old taxed-to-the-teeth New York.  So that means she's hot and can severely break her foot off in your ass if she has to.  For more "fun" pictures of Jo click here.

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Ok, enough of the happy horseshit.  The beer.  St. Pauli Girl is a brew I haven't had since I was getting beat up for my lunch money... so I'm nostalgic about it.  However, having it again so many years later made me wonder what the hell I was nostalgic about.  It kind of tasted like yellow water.  The best part of it was looking at the cartoon girl on the label.  And don't pretend like you haven't gotten turned on by a cartoon before.  Hell, I even thought Bugs Bunny was kind of sexy when he dressed up as a girl bunny to fool Elmer Fudd.  Anyway, good old Beer Advocate agrees with me.  They rate this Pauli chick a "C" (mediocre) based on 233 reviews.

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Almost done Buckos.  We're up to the musical portion of our program.  On deck tonight is "Caught In The Rain" by Revis.  Not only is it a nifty little number but it celebrates the continuous rainfall we get in April in New York.  Yeah, it's great.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my dingy is floating off.  And I can't find my boat either.

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"Caught In The Rain"

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Programming note: I have to get out of town for a few days... gotta lay low.  I had a picture of Mohammed painted on the hood of my car and the Muslim community is giving me a hard time.  I don't know what the big deal is... it's not even the prophet Mohammed.  It's a picture of my buddy Mohammed Dingman.  Cripes these religiousey types are sensitive.  ANYWAY, I won't be updating the site again until MONDAY.  In the meantime, face east and have a pork-free weekend you crazy bastards!

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WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?

Kind of tired after a long day of choking chickens, so I'll keep this short.  I liked this pic because it's a big 'suck it' to that sadistic kid with the ant farm... er... I mean God.  Stay fruity Buckos!

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HOME SWEET MOTHERF**KING HOME.

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GHETTO PROM

I'll apologize in advance - the following pictures are old. They've been bouncing around the internet for at least a few years. But I ran across them again a few days ago and it was just like the first time: the butterflies in the stomach, the pageantry, the innocence of youth, the silky fervitude of my first prom dress. It's was all a bit overwhelming really. So I had to post them again here. All the young jeezies out there should see what it means to be young with a beautiful, demure damsel on your arm, and a big bright future ahead of you... oh... and what's it like to be big pimpin'. Time to get our prom on Buckoz!

The arrival.

Note the red... plastic... er... carpet.

Pose, you photo-riffic maniacs.

The white guys blend in like Ronald McDonald in a North Korean POW camp.

And for dessert...

Drink it in Buckos.

Oh yeah, it's happening.

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THE 48 LAWS OF POWER - PART 5

Ho HO Buckos!  Welcome to the fifth and final installment of your crash course in power!  Author Robert Greene rounds out his lessons in annihilating bastards by busting out pearls on how to disarm, how to use flaws as strength, and the potency of formlesness.  So grab a spear and grit your teeth men - this video (and the others... part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) is how to make muscle.  Watch and grow awesome.

Ok, so once you've studied all those rules your performance should look something like this...

PS - If you'd like a copy of all 5 "Laws of Power" movies in high quality and on cd, shoot me an email.  Just click the piss-ant envelope below.

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I GUESS WE CAN HAVE HIS GUN NOW.

Sweet Odin's Raven! First the egg mcmuffin guy (see here), now Charlton Heston ups and croaks.   I was never a big fan of the NRA Heston but I am a fan of this one...

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Since these things happen in threes the question is, 'who's next?'  Deathlist.net has Sydney Pollack.  And then Albert Hoffman - the creator of LSD.  I could give a squirt of piss about Sydney but I'd be bummed if the LSD guy went to that big trippy sugar cube in the sky.  For some reason I like knowing he's around.  Like when I have a bad flashback and think I'm in a re-run of Scooby Doo where urinal mints look like Scooby snacks and the living room lamp is really Daphne... who is so ready to party.

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TAXES HURT MY SPHINCTER - PART 2.

About a month ago I posted the first part in a eleven part video series called "America: Freedom To Fascism."  You can check it out here.  Well Buckos, with tax time just around the corner, I'm posting part two of the series.  So, if you're not motivated to give Uncle Sam some of your sweet sweet coinage, this should make it worse.  But you maniacs should look at the bright side: at least you don't have to release your return to the national media and explain why you and your husband have invested your $$ in tax shelters in the Cayman Islands since he left office as the President of a pretty kick-ass country... hypothetically speaking... ahem.

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AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM (2 of 11)

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