JIMI HENDRIX IS DEAD.

Kind of a sad day today.  September 18th, 1970 is the day Jimi Hendrix died.  He was found dead in a London flat after having taken a bunch of sleeping pills with red wine; and proceeded to choke on his own vomit.  I guess the moral of the story is that sleeping on your side might be a good idea. I mean - Criminey!  Look at me!  I'm a world-class kazoo-ist but I can handle my high... except for that time I woke up on a strange house boat missing one sock, bacon grease slathered all over my nipples, and a bunch of confetti jammed between my ass cheeks.  But that was just one time.  And no more mixing Robitussin and Jim Beam for me.  No sir.  Lesson learned.

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Anyway, here's probably the best Jimi tune in the whole wide wide world of sports.  Stay strong.

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UHHH... GUESS WHAT?

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GREEN OIL VS. BLACK OIL

Happy Tuesday to everyone out there in the WTCCTR universe!  I hope everyone is enjoying watching our financial institutions collapse around us.  I mean, there's nothing quite like seeing your retirement account steadily decline like it was your gas gauge.  And speaking of fuel, I've been hearing a lot from both candidates lately about drilling.  We gotta tap into that domestic oil supply to reduce our dependency on foreign oil!  Yup... that's what we should be doing.  Drill, drill, drill.  Then I ran across this nifty little graphic:

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(click image for larger version)

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Yeah.  Crap.  So what's the answer?  Well, T. Boon Pickens wants us to use natural gas to power our cars as an intermediate solution that would drastically cut our consumption while we look at alternative fuels.  Great!  I'm in T. Boon. ... Just show me where to buy a fucking car that runs on natural gas and I'll buy it... you dope.  Detroit isn't going to pump hundreds of millions of dollars into retooling car factories to make natural gas cars when the technology is going to obsolete within 10-20 years.  Lucky for you crazy sonsabitches I have the answer - pond scum.  Yup.  That shit will work in our existing cars and it's carbon neutral .  All we have to do is make it.  Oh, yeah, we're able to do that right now... as we speak.  If either of these candidates knew shit from shinola they would propose taxing the oil companies RECORD profits for just one year** and give it to the guy in this video:

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There.  Problem solved.  You're welcome.  Stay strong.

** IF the Federal Government had taxed the "big 5" U.S. oil companies in 2008 they would have collected $54.25 BILLION (corporate income tax rate of 35% x 2008 industry profits of $155 billion).

Technorati Tags: oil, financial collapse, algae, green, black, crude, bio fuel, oil company profits, nipple hatred

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ALEC BALDWIN'S TUESDAY NIGHT.

I don't know about you bitches but, compared to Alec Baldwin, my Tuesday nights suck.  I mean, I usually make a righteous pot pie, have some peanuts and coke; and settle down with my water bong to watch some Golden Girls re-runs.  BUT, I have zero chance of getting the clap from Bea Arthur.  So suck on that Alec!

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http://view.break.com/570897 - Watch more free videos

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MORE RIGHTEOUS PHOTO BOMBS.

Last month I posted some pictures of people doing a little photo bombing.  I came across a few more for your viewing pleasure.  

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Nothing like a nice afternoon between mother and daughter... and deranged lunatic.

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I believe this guy is trying to do the old dick-in-mouth gesture... or he's having a poon-induced seizure.

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I can't figure out which one of these dudes is the bigger dick cheese.

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Isn't that the dude from the Dave Matthews video who was giving out all the hugs? ... Or it's the guy who is going to murder the kitty in pink.

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Ok... see... this is a good example of why I'll be going straight to hell: I think this is absolutely the best picture in the history of the world.  I have it as my computer wallpaper and screensaver.  True story.

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Looks like work dried up for the dude from Superbad.

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Say 'hello' to Mr. Saturday Night ladies.

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Ok guys, weekend is over.  Pull your pants up and stay strong.

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OOH... THAT'S A BAD INJURY.

If you're a dude, you can feel what this little dude is saying.   I know because it happened to me.  Some guy knocked me down, took my chicken McNuggets, and... well... then this happened.

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That's how these sonsabitches operate.  You gotta protect yourself... and your nuggets.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, money, penis, kicked, banged in the nuts

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Salutations Bitches.  Time again to toss one off, toss one back, and toss the nearest broad.  Game on.

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Ericka Underwood.  Yup.  Ms. Underwood is a 25 year old bikini model from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  I don't know about you but I really don't care to know more about her than that.  Seriously.  Who cares what her 'turn ons' are and what sign she is.  She's probably annoying as fuck once she opens her pie hole.  More pics of her here.  But - just in case I meet her someday - Ericka... just kidding about all that.  I know you have a whizz-bang personality on ya.  (Hey, you never know).

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I'm going to the dark side with the beer pick this week.  Milwaukee's Best Ice.  I know.  Hardcore.  But that's how I roll.  Now, I haven't had Milwaukee's Best since college; and I've never had the high-tech "ice" version.  So I knew I was jumping in the deep end on this.  I have to say it wasn't too bad.  It wasn't good but if Russians were parachuting in and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were riding down Main Street, I'd crack a few Mil's Best Ice open.  Beer Advocate wasn't as generous as I was.  They rated it a D+ ... "avoid."  By the way, you are able to wear the can over your head like the gentleman in the picture above.  I had to strap the 6 pack on the roof of my car just to get it home.  True story.

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Band this week is Anberlin and yeah, that's them.  I shit you not.  The lead singer (I'm assuming that's the dude standing front and center) looks like my 9th grade science teacher.  He was such a zero that a kid tossed a paper airplane at him once and it actually stuck in his wonky hair-do.  Anyway, they're an alt-rock band from Winter Haven, Florida.  I know, I was blown away too... THE Winter Haven, Florida.  What the fuck.  Why do they even include that information in their bio?  Why don't they say they're from Ballsack, USA and just get it over with.  Cool tune tho.  It's "Godspeed."  

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