CLOSER TO... er... BY DICK CHEESE

Tonight, in honor of all the lounging around that goes on on Labor Day, I'm featuring a little musical interlude: Dick Cheese and his band, Lounge Against The Machine. They'll be doing a sublime cover of NIN's Closer. And it is glorious. In fact, I'm going out tomorrow at around... oh... 7am with my new Richard Cheese album and driving through all the terrible parts of town with the bass on '10' playing every. Single. Track. Two can play this game ghetto people!

FUNNY, THAT'S MY FAVORITE TOO

THE ULTIMATE PB&J

I thought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches was something I had down pat. I mean, we've firmly established that I'm no rocket scientist but making a pb&j sandwich is right above breathing and heart rate on the old brainstem, right? Well, I guess not. Tonight I'm posting a diagram/guide to make the most ultimate, nut-stuffin' pb&j this side of your mother. All I have to say is: who knew? Who f*cking knew...? Goddam peanut butter and jelly...

(click image for larger view)

SHIT MY DAD SAYS

Whoa. It's been awhile. Sorry about that. I think I got some bad moonshine because the last thing I remember is visiting my buddy Larry at his cabin in the woods and helping him with his still. I came to yesterday afternoon half lying in a stream, naked from the waist down, and missing a pinky toe. Needless to say, trying to get a ride back home was a nightmare. But I'm back baby! So, tonight's post has to do with Twitter. I'm just old enough to have that 'get off my lawn!' feeling about Twitter - it seems like a snotty young kid who doesn't make any goddam sense. But I ran across this guy's twitter page where he just writes down awesome shit his 73 year-old father says. I've read them all and -yes - they are awesome. My favorite so far?

Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices. Jesus

Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs.

Dash isn't even real dammit!

Check out "shit my dad says" here. And if any of you run across a really f*cking handsome pinky toe, please contact me immediately. Stay spicy!

Technorati Tags: twitter, still, shit, my, dad, says, fat people, single payer, alcoholism, palin, olberman, atm machine

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HEALTH CARE CRAMPS

If you've turned on the tv at all in the last month you've seen someone talking about health care. Town halls, armed people, yelling, socialism... I've even heard the labels "nazi" and "Hitler" thrown around. Ok. Now I'm not sure what the answer to the whole health care debacle is but I am sure that I'm not a rocket scientist. So all this yelling and screaming combined with cable news talking heads telling me what should happen has only made me more confused. But I've managed to cobble together a few thoughts after listening to the cacophony coming out of my television:

* health care is a limited resource. So, the question is: how should it be distributed?

* people equate health care reform with them losing access to their doctor

* Americans think we have the best health care in the world (actually we're 37th)

* using the word "socialism" is the same as telling someone a "Yo mamma is so fat..." joke

* bringing a loaded weapon to a town hall debate is like hooking electrodes to your bosses' testicles before having your yearly performance review

Like I said, I'm confused. But there was a guy on tv today who presented an argument on why health care should be 100% run by the government. And, I gotta say, he had some pretty good points. Yup. That's right. Socialism. One hundred percent government run... just like our banks and car companies. Stay strong... and healthy. (PS - I'll warn everyone right now, the video is 10 minutes long. But it's still pretty motherfuc*ing interesting).

Technorati Tags: health care, public option, private option, obamacare, town hall, debate, crapulosity, socialism, public option

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FRANK SINATRA FRIDAY

Frank Sinatra was The Man. He lived life on his terms: hard partying, womanizing, traveling, famous, rich, and unapologetic. So, in honor of this awesome cat, I'm officially naming today - August 14th - as Frank Sinatra day in the WTCCTR Universe. Put some Old Blue Eyes on the hi-fi, mix a mad vodka martini, and take a few tokes on a cigar the size of a stovepipe. Or, better yet, do it YOUR way. Stay awesome.

My way ( lyrics) Frank Sinatra.mp3 get more free mp3 & video codes at www.musik-live.net

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NINJAS

I've been building my own ninja army for years now. But it's a slow, tedious process because... well... there just aren't that many ninjas bouncing around any more. Or, maybe there are a ton of them, and I just don't know about them because they're frigging ninjas; and you can't see the crazy bastards. Either way, I'm getting a little desperate. I mean, look at some of the applicant pool. Jesus Christ man.

Technorati Tags: ninja, army, fighting, combat, martial, arts, mma, kick ass, health care

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