PRANK CALLERS ARE AWESOME.

We've all seen and/or heard those prank phone calls on talk shows.  They usually get hung up on pretty quickly.  Wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't hang up on them?  Ummm... yeah, it would.  I have proof.

Religious TV Host Badly Pranked - Watch more Free Videos

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2009 - HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER

Well, here at WTCCTR 2008 was ushered out with a nifty little musical interlude so I thought we'd welcome 2009 in that same manner.  All this interest in music probably has something to do with the 47 ecstasy tablets I took on or around December 30th... I'm not sure of the exact date.   Anyway, here's a ball pumping tune by Daft Punk.  I suggest you watch it in HD (a new option with some YouTube videos).  May your new year be harder, better, faster, and stronger than the last.  Oh, and my New Year's Resolution?  Stop storing my ecstasy in the ibuprofen bottle.  Stay strong.

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TIME FOR SOME PINK FLOYD

Pink Floyd is awesome.  There are a few bands that hover above of the rest of the rabble of banks plucking their instruments and clutching onto their dorks: AC/DC, Rush, Aerosmith, Sweet Jimmy DiFranco and the DiFranco Five... and definitely Roger Waters and crew.  So I thought we'd go with a musical interlude tonight: Pink Floyd's "Run Like Hell" - in concert.  Roll your doobs now... and toke up on the awesomeness.  Stay strong.

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PHILIPPINES, HERE I COME

I love America but American tv sucks my ass.  Two And A Half Men, Reba, Smallville, The Office... they all smoke my wonky trouser sausage.  I haven't watched a fictional tv show from start to finish since goddam Barnaby Jones, starring goddam Buddy Ebsen.  But it seems that tv producers in the Philippines have their shit together.  Weng Weng is a Filipino actor who did movies and tv in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.  After you watch this video tribute to him you'll have to redefine your definition of entertainment.  And Charlie Sheen and Reba MacIntyre will look like the talentless hacks they really are.

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FRIDAY'S ... uh... SATURDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

I was watching the movie "Old School" tonight and it got me kicking down memory lane to my college days.  So tonight's theme for babe, beer, and a tune is college - and all the joy of years of sustained disillusionment that followed.

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Elisha Cuthbert is our babe this week.  She starred in "Old School" and resembles absolutely not one girl I ever saw in college.  Granted, I went to a small technical college where the majority of students were Iranian or Saudi Arabian before it was cool to be Iranian or Saudi; but, shit-sodas, you'd think there'd be at least one hot chick in the school... you'd think that but you'd be wrong.  Anyway, more pictures of her white little ass here.

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Unlike Ms. Cuthbert, this is one little beauty I had a lot of run-ins with at school.  I remember buying a sixer of Piels once where all the label ink was smeared so you couldn't even read the name.  I couldn't help but think that this was some quality-assed shit I was drinking.  Bottom line: Piels isn't a good beer.  But it's cheap.  And if you can choke down the first three then the rest aren't that bad.  It's not glamorous but it gets you where you need to go.  Kind of like the bus.  Beer Advocate rates Piels a C- ... "not worthy."  In Piels defense, if BA had a ranking for "foul odor" Piels would've rated a lot higher.

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You know how they torture prisoners by blasting music they hate at them 24 hours a day?  Well, that's the origin of tonight's tune: "American Pie" by Don McLean.  The mother-f*cker across the hall from me in the dorms played this goddam song 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for my entire freshman year.  Over and over and over.  He never ever got sick of it.  In the meantime, I'm sitting about 5 feet away (in the room directly across the hall) trying to get through the worst year of my life - and having to endure this song, which I hated even before all this.  So, in keeping with tonight's college theme, here it is.  Yup.  American Pie.  By Don McLean.  I've found that it's extra enjoyable if you run a hot bath, slit the old wrists, and bleed out as this sublime melody ushers in the sweet sting of death.  Stay strong.

Discover Don McLean!

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LETS GET RELIGILUOUS

This time of year people get all crazy about God and virgins and babies and mangers and stuff like that.  But, the truth is, people do a lot of crazy awful crap in the name of religion.  I've adopted the Festivus tradition, which makes about as much sense as worshipping other things.  Plus, it's a lot easier to maintain than a pine tree or menorah.  And when the holidays are over you can put the pole back on your front lawn and fly a flag from it.  I usually throw up a pirate flag... just to keep my neighbors on their toes.

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The video tonight is the closing monologue from Bill Mahr's movie "Religious."  It's pretty interesting.  But if you see an ocean start to boil and hear harps - never mind about any of this.  Stay strong.

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