FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Happy Halloween you maniacs.  Trick or tits.

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This is Alexis Lopez.  She's your standard, basic 20-something model who probably likes kittens and world peace - in that order.  The bummer about this chick is that she won't do any nude modeling.  What the fuck is that all about?!?  A little advice for Ms. Lopez from a crafty veteran of romance and moose knuckling (look it up): if you want to make it in this business you're gonna have to flash a little dick mitten now and then.  I'm just sayin'.  More non-nude pics of her here.

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Even though it's late fall I decided to take a chance and sneak a few summertime beers down my gullet in the form of Corona Light.  That's right... I take chances for you fuckers.  And, I gotta say, I thought it was great.  It's not a real flavorful beer but it was clean and crisp and actually tasted like steak it was so good.  Now here comes the weird part.  Beer Advocate rates this beer an "F" ... avoid.  I'm getting the feeling that BA employs a bunch of snooty dicks.

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Tune tonight is from this band, Depswa.  They're an alt. metal band out of California.  I think their career peaked back in '03 when they performed at Ozzfest.  Someone should tell them they aren't going anywhere with the singer from Smashing Pumpkins.  Really man... who are they trying to fool?  Anyway, here's their righteous tunage, "Two Angels And A Dream."   

That's the end of the road for this little journey.  Time to go put some brother's in check.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, alexis lopez, corona, light, beer, depswa, two angles and a dream, smokestack messiah

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THE BAILOUT SCAM, MCCAIN'S PIMP HAND, AND EPIC PORN

Kind of a mixed bag of topics tonight because I'm in a weird mood. Let's just say my day started with me jerking off in front of a window like a goddam monkey.  It was downhill from there.  So let's get on with the random-ness.

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Hey, remember that pesky little $820 BILLION "bail out" we had awhile back?  Yeah?  Well, turns out the banks that are getting the money - and who are supposed to be using it to give loans to people - are using it to acquire other banks instead.  NYT article here.  Sounds like this bail out was the same as giving $20 to your 16 year old daughter on Friday night and telling her to save it for college.  These kind of stories make me glad I never went to prison - I hate getting f-ed in the A.

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McCain is having some Palin problems.  Bitch flipped the script! 

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And just to chill shit out after some finance and politics I thought we'd go to the porn.  In this film, "My Sister's Hot Friend," I don't think the "hot friend" is using the 'hard to get' approach - a mating strategy I've had a lot of experience with.  I'm not going to go into all the subtleties of getting past it; but lets just say you can avoid a lot of the flirty little kicks to the groin and screams of Bug off you fucking creep! with a gentlemanly tip o' the cap and the introduction of yourself as Lord Throbbington IV. Ta for now Chaps.  

Technorati Tags: bailout, new york times, chocolate news, comedy central, redtube, my sister's hot friend, porn, pimps, bitches, hos, lord throbbington IV

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HOW MANY MILES PER GALLON DOES YOUR BODY GET?

If it wasn't for random bullshit and porn I don't think the internet would exist.  And that means WTCCTR wouldn't exist either.  I know.  I know.  It's almost impossible to comprehend the utter awfulness of it.  Of course, there would be advantages.  I'd have way more time to devote to driving around with my Viet Nam buddies solving crimes.  Wait... that's the A-Team isn't it?  ... Hmmm... I coulda sworn I was the silvery haired ring leader.  Anyway, on to the bullshit!  Featured tonight is a calculator that figures out your miles per gallon.  No, not your car's miles per gallon - YOUR miles per gallon.  In other words, if you drank a gallon of water mixed with liquid food, how far could you walk until you dropped dead.  At the end you're given your own personal miles per gallon which is then translated into what kind of car you would be.  What kind of car was I?  Let's just say you couldn't afford me (hint: if you put a monster cock on a Bugatti you'd be close).

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42 miles per gallon

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, bugatti venyon, mpg, miles per gallon, a-team, shit waffles

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5 AWESOME WALLPAPERS.

Here are five random pictures which I've deemed both righteous and awesome, for different reasons.  But they all have one thing in common: you can use them as wallpaper for your computer.  A friendly note of caution... they're awesomeness has a high probability of smoking your ass and making your pickle pucker.  Yeah.  I'm saying it.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, money, wallpaper, free, awesome, tits, batman, superman, jesus use me, clap monkey

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SUNDAY POO

Ok, so I've been accused of having some kind of a fascination with poo.  I think it's time I set the record straight.  I really don't like crap, shit, or any other kind of stuff exiting the anal region.  Do not want.  Ok.  Now that  we're clear on that I'll contradict myself and say that I think the whole "bathroom humor" thing is hilarious.  If someone shits their pants in front of me well, that's my entertainment for the week.  So when I ran across tonight's featured site it was like the clouds parted and a little poop-Jesus said, Bring forth the feces my Son.  Sprinkle brigade is a group of guys with a lot of free time on their hands trekking around town, decorating dog shit, and taking pictures of it.  There.  Hours of entertainment on a Sunday night.  You're welcome.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, beer, babe, tune, tits, finance, money, cash, sunday, feces, anus, crap, shit, turd blossom, sprinkle brigade, dog shit, poop jesus

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THE PALIN PORNO.

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Another week skids to a halt.  Let's break out the tits!

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One of my buddies was pointing out that I never post a blond for the "babe" portion of Friday's festivities here at WTCCTR.  So, ok, tonight I'm going blond.  (This one's for you Jbird)  The flaxen-haired strumpet is Tina Cutrone.  She is 20 years old and from Florida.  I suppose her claim to fame is having been in Playboy's All Naturals.  She likes to skydive and wants to save baby seals.  The skydiving thing is cool, if she does it naked with a double-headed dong, but saving baby seals?  I guess that's why I don't often feature blonds - they're so fucking... blond.  Anyway, see way more of her here.

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Beer on tap is Budweiser American Ale.  I think it's ironic that Budweiser is no longer even an American owned brewery when they come out with an "American" ale brewed from the finest ingredients found here in the good old USA.  It gives me the feeling that they're jerking me around by packaging up patriotism and selling it to me.  So I guess I was going in to this beer with bad feelings.  As for the beer, it was good... for Budweiser.  A warm Sam Adams sitting in the trunk of my car for two weeks in August has better flavor than the best Bud has to offer.  That being said, I'd drink Bud's American Ale again if it was a choice between that and a homeless guy's piss, and someone had just jammed a turd in my mouth.  Beer Advocate rates it a B- ... "worthy"  Uh huh.

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I think I'm involved in some kind of secret cult and I don't even know it.  The reason being that most of the bands I've been featuring lately have been Christian rock bands, and I really don't know why.  My only explanation is that they write some catchy shit and I'm all up in the catchy shit.  I dunno.  Anyway, this band is Falling Up.  They describe their music as "pash rock" which is a mix between "power pop" and "alternative metal."  All of that is extremely fucking gay if you ask me.  But catchy.  I'll promise to try and bounce back from this week's musical selection but for now here's "Symmetry" by Falling Up.  Ok... stay strong... for Jesus.

humor, finance, babe, beer, tune, tits, tina cutrone, playboy, all naturals, falling up, christian rock, jesus, budweiser, american, ale, turd, shit hammer

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