The Democratic National Convention is going on this week. Even though I've been trying to avoid it, it's hard not to see highlights on the news. I try to avoid both conventions for the same reason I avoid commercials for regular, everyday products: I hate people trying to sell me shit. I don't want to own a donkey or an elephant. Still, I might try and catch some of Ron Paul's "convention" being held on the Tuesday, September 2nd. Wait... what am I saying...? Paul advocates abolishing the federal income tax and the IRS - I'd follow that glorious bastard into the center of the Sun!
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There's been a lot of talk this week about "experience." Who has it. Who doesn't. How much. What kind. It seems funny to me that this is even an issue since the Founders of our country never intended for politics to be a career. Politics was supposed to be a temp job for a chosen few who, after serving, were expected to return to farming, or blacksmithing, or wig-powdering, or tea-bagging... or whateverthehell kind of mundane job they were trained to do. Their thinking was that if you're a politician for too long you lose touch with the people you're trying to represent. Of course, this was the idea back when politics had a hint of common sense. So, when some talking head on tv starts questioning a politician's "experience" I tend to think of this ex-President - who didn't have an experience-pot to piss in when he showed up for work at The White House. He still managed to do a pretty good job though.
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PS- For those of you who think I'm comparing Obama to Lincoln it's also important to note that - like Bush - Lincoln was the architect and driving force behind a war that was incredibly unpopular at the time (but worked out pretty good for everyone, looking back). And Lincoln's approval ratings when he was in office make Georgie W. seem like the most popular dude in the history of your mother.
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There are a lot of reasons I'm going to hell. Too many to really list here. But one of those reasons is that I think retarded people are hilariously entertaining. And not in a "laughing with you" sort of way. They're in the same category as reefer addicts: pure joy wrapped in dumb looks and B.O. So when I saw this short video of a special young woman by the name of Marbles; it felt like I was running through fields of hashish and joy in a slow motion carousel, and falling into the arms of a big, warbley-eyed window licker bearing armfuls of tacos and bongs. Technically, I don't think she's retarded but autistic... hell, I don't even think she's a real person but an ingenious character actress. Whatever the case is, Marbles is the sh*t - with a capital "S". In fact, she's the newest addition to the list of people I'm going to recruit for my team of crime fighters. Her special power? Snacking. 
