BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS

The news today was dominated by the prospective bailout of the auto industry.  While Paulson and Bernanke didn't seem to set the bar too high to hand out $300 billion to a bunch of bankers (86% of which was spent on bonuses), the car guys need to submit a "plan" for the cash.  I don't think anyone should be getting bailed out but if you're going to give billions to a bunch of white collar pricks who only use their hands to jerk you off; then why are the blue collar guys who actually make something with their hands getting a hard time?  Once again, my buddy Bob sums it up perfectly.  Stay strong.

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ECONOMIC PROBLEMS SOLVED.

The economy is rapidly heading down the shitter.  One reason is that other countries no longer need to use US dollars to buy oil (up until 2000 countries needed our money to buy oil, but that's changing).  The other is that letting the market (i.e., Wall Street) regulate itself without any oversight whatsoever is like telling a fat kid to watch your box of fudge sickles until you get back.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  So, this Friday, I'm air-dropping my man Bob here into the Presidential debates.  The Democrats, Republicans, and prick-ey Wall Street CEO's are on notice: Bob is up your ass now Bitches.

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MARBLES HOSGROVE.

There are a lot of reasons I'm going to hell.  Too many to really list here.  But one of those reasons is that I think retarded people are hilariously entertaining.  And not in a "laughing with you" sort of way.  They're in the same category as reefer addicts: pure joy wrapped in dumb looks and B.O.  So when I saw this short video of a special young woman by the name of Marbles; it felt like I was running through fields of hashish and joy in a slow motion carousel, and falling into the arms of a big, warbley-eyed window licker bearing armfuls of tacos and bongs.  Technically, I don't think she's retarded but autistic... hell, I don't even think she's a real person but an ingenious character actress.  Whatever the case is, Marbles is the sh*t - with a capital "S".  In fact, she's the newest addition to the list of people I'm going to recruit for my team of crime fighters.  Her special power?  Snacking.  

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Here's a video where she expounds on the dangers of E. Coli.  Watch.  Watch and grow awesome you sonsabitches.

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PS - How friggin' awesome would it be to have Marbles and Bob in the same room?

Technorati Tags: babe, humor, finance, beer, tune, Marbles, drinking with Bob, democrat, republican, Sarah Palin

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