MORE RIGHTEOUS MASH-UPS

I try to keep things moving on this site. You know, keep it fresh. Keep it fly. Because that's how I roll: fresh and fly. Ask anyone. So, anyways... I wanted to avoid another Rick Ashley vs. Nirvana post... but it's gotta be done. The guy responsible for that mix - DJ Morgoth - has his own website called Mash Up Your Bootz. And the cool part is that there's twenty five - two. five. - entire playlists you can download for free. Some of the others are just as good as the Nirvana one. The Police/ColdPlay mash is particularly phat. Or Metallica/Deadmau5. I'm into it man. That's it... where's my Kongol hat? I gotta go out and get some body glitter. Stay groovy fucker.

The Cars vs. Lady Gaga

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH CABLE NEWS WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE...

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RICK ASTLEY GETS RIGHTEOUS

This caught me totally off guard. I clicked on this video just to get a chuckle... and I gotta admit... it was kinda awesome. Of course, it has almost nothing to do with Rick Astley. He's kind of a boob. I guess this is a testament to Kurt Cobain's genius - that you can dub any kind of crap over his music and it instantly turns great. The actual mashup of the two songs is by some German dude called DJ Morgoth. So, kudos to him. This is the equivalent of splicing together the DNA of a lion and a tse-tse fly and having everything work out ok... except for Rick's red pompadour. That'll never be ok in my book. Stay strong.

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THE GREATEST OPENING TWO MINUTES OF A MOVIE EVER

Harry Potter and the Dark Wizard in my Pants - or whatever the hell the title is - opened this weekend. It's receiving quite a bit of fanfare for the huge box office it's doing. I haven't seen it yet but I can guarantee that it doesn't have a better opening than this one. I imagine that if Mozart were alive today, seeing a bunch of half naked men riding in a giant shopping cart and punching each other to his tune "O Fortuna" (that dramatic music dubbed over the scene); he couldn't help but hug himself inside... not in a gay way though. It's like, some things just go together... like small pox and penicillin. Stay strong.

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HOW TO INSTANTLY FAIL A DUI

Hey. Another weekend is upon us; and I imagine that a lot of people who frequent this site probably enjoy drinking and driving. Call it a hunch. So tonight I'm posting a video of what NOT to do if you're pulled over and given a breathalyzer test. I mean, I'm here to help you motherf*ckers. Seriously. If I didn't have you guys I'd lose the $0.0045 I make each month in AdSense revenue; and that pack of gum I was saving up for in 2011 will just have to wait. And that can't happen. I've been getting all freaky for a piece of Juicy Fruit for a while now. Stay strong.

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MIGHTY TAPE... FROM THE F*CKING GRAVE!

Billy Mays is dead. But since he's the greatest pitch man in the history of your mother, he's still hocking shit from the grave. His latest commercial just came out - 23 days after his death. That's right, Mighty Tape must be sold. I watched the whole commercial kinda hoping they were going to offer a Billy Mays memorial version; like maybe a simple black tape, or one that has little pictures of his head on it. I'd be all over that. The best part of the commercial comes at 1m 30s when Billy is underwater - wearing his trademark denim shirt - slapping the Mighty Tape around. It brought a tear to my eye to see the big guy workin' his magic even though he's deader than a doornail. If only he'd come out with Mighty Tape about 24 days ago... I'm not saying it would've helped cure a massive coronary blockage but the shit couldn't have hurt. Stay strong.

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LETS GET STRONG

I pride myself on being a sophisticant of the highest caliber and all-around fancy gentleman, but sometimes I like to trade in my tea and scrumpets for some iron plates. The place I do that is a small yet mighty gym called Albany Strength. The owner - himself quite the fancy gentleman - has put the gym online! Yup. So now all the protein powders and creatine shakes I use to sculpt my magnificent form are available to you, the average person. Oh, I know, it's like a dream but it's true. Everything you'd need to get bigger, smaller, smarter, studlier, shorter, taller, more Asian... all in one place. All more inexpensive than any other online store. And all incredibly awesome. So do us all a favor and check out the site in the linked logo below. By the way, there's a picture of me working out somewhere on there. Now, if that isn't a motivator, then you're a corpse buddy. As a bonus I'm posting the AC/DC video "TNT." Because that's how awesome all of this is. ... I know ... Stay strong.

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