SOME FUN NUMBERS

I try not to get too political on this site, mainly because talking politics is like throwing your feces all over you and the people around you - no one really wins ... and everyone smells like shit afterwards. But I'm gonna dip a toe in the water tonight... or fling a dingleberry... or whatever goddam metaphor smokes your balls. All I've heard about lately is health care, health care reform, socialism, cost, how are we going to pay for it, bureaucracy, blah, blah, blah, pfft. Despite this, however, I haven't really thought much about all this health care foshnoozle. That is, until I saw these numbers (below) ticking off. It's the current cost of the Iraq war. Now, I don't pretend to know what the answer to the health care issue. But I do know, that all that cash being pissed away before your very eyes below sure could pay for a lot of pap smears and prostate exams. Capishe?

Technorati Tags: healthcare, cost, of, war, in, iraq, health reform, pap smear, prostate exam, reform, mother fancies

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AIRLINE FUN

Flying in a post-9/11 world has become serious business. It's a little scary without having to worry about the guy next to you throwing matches at his shoes. But sometimes you have to try and break some of that tension, and what better way than with some humor. So today's post is for all you frequent fliers. After you get seated and comfortable, after you get your instructions on how to use your seat as a flotation device, after you're airborne and have your little pack of peanuts - give a wink and a smile to the person on your left and on your right, open up your laptop, and click the link below. Oh, and be sure the volume is turned up. By the time the pilot sets that plane down you'll all be belly laughing and back slapping because of your clever little joke... if the plane isn't put into an emergency landing at a diversion airport and you're not immediately taken into custody by the FBI, that is. That would kinda put a damper on all the yuk-yuks. Stay strong.

Airline Laptop Screen

Technorati Tags: airline, 9/11, fbi, emergency landing, humor, cash, boobs, tune in tokyo

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YOUR DOUCHEBAG NAME

You know those funny little games to figure out your porn name (mine is Trixie River)or your pirate name (yup, Rough Sailin' Wallace, that's me)...? Well, I ran across one I'd never tried before: your douchebag name. I'm pretty fascinated by douchebags in general, especially the New Jersey Douchebag. So when I saw the chance to get a glimpse of myself through the douchebag prism, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I'll never be that tanned, that moussed, or that puckered; so the least I can do is take a run at the name. It's a weak stab at douchey glory I'll admit, but I went for it anyway. The moral of this story - hang on to your dreams kids.

Your Douchebag Name

Technorati Tags: douchebag, name, generator, dreams, kids, tan, tanning, money, humor, fish nips

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THEY PEED ON YOUR F*CKING RUG

I've posted about the greatest movie ever made - The Big Lebowski - in the past. But since then, the video featuring the full movie has been pulled from Hulu. So, I'm putting up a single scene from the sublime piece of cinematic ecstasy that is The Big Lebowski. In it, The Dude (Jeff Bridges), Walter (John Goodman) and Donny (Steve Buscemi) are setting up the motivation for their characters that will drive them through the remainder of the movie - finding who peed on The Dude's rug and getting it replaced. Scorsese and Hitchcock better take some notes because this is how you f*cking write f*cking movie dialogue baby! Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: the big lebowski, jeff bridges, steve buscemi, john goodman, scorcese, hitchcock, movie, greatist, health, care, the beatles, incontinent pets

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MORE RIGHTEOUS MASH-UPS

I try to keep things moving on this site. You know, keep it fresh. Keep it fly. Because that's how I roll: fresh and fly. Ask anyone. So, anyways... I wanted to avoid another Rick Ashley vs. Nirvana post... but it's gotta be done. The guy responsible for that mix - DJ Morgoth - has his own website called Mash Up Your Bootz. And the cool part is that there's twenty five - two. five. - entire playlists you can download for free. Some of the others are just as good as the Nirvana one. The Police/ColdPlay mash is particularly phat. Or Metallica/Deadmau5. I'm into it man. That's it... where's my Kongol hat? I gotta go out and get some body glitter. Stay groovy fucker.

The Cars vs. Lady Gaga

Technorati Tags: dj morgoth, mash, up, your, bootz, rick ashley, nirvana, mash up, smells like teen spirit, techno, dance, trance, metallica, the police, roxanne, enter sandman, penis murder

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH CABLE NEWS WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE...

Technorati Tags: cable, news, cronkite, toilet, health care, crapulosity

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RICK ASTLEY GETS RIGHTEOUS

This caught me totally off guard. I clicked on this video just to get a chuckle... and I gotta admit... it was kinda awesome. Of course, it has almost nothing to do with Rick Astley. He's kind of a boob. I guess this is a testament to Kurt Cobain's genius - that you can dub any kind of crap over his music and it instantly turns great. The actual mashup of the two songs is by some German dude called DJ Morgoth. So, kudos to him. This is the equivalent of splicing together the DNA of a lion and a tse-tse fly and having everything work out ok... except for Rick's red pompadour. That'll never be ok in my book. Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: rick astley, nirvana, kurt cobain, never gonna give you up, dj morgoth, german, club, house, techno, trance, ball hair

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