THE DAY AFTER...

Whew, am I glad all that shit is over!  If you have any agenda items for our president-elect you can let him know here.  Now, if you don't mind, I'm sportin' for another righteous cocktail...

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THE ONLY MAN WHO MAKES ANY SENSE

Well, the day is finally here.  After almost two long years we go to cast our vote on Tuesday.  Everyone should vote.  It's the only way our republic can work properly (America is a republic, NOT a democracy).  In all of this mess of what amounted to a cluster fuck to the White House there was only one guy who made any sense to me.  I don't want to be all dramatic about it but I think, like Abraham Lincoln, he was the only true Republican running for office this year.  

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,

and to the Republic for which it stands,

one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." 

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A SUNDAY SERENADE

In addition to spending most of the day hungover sitting in a pile of my own waste I've been watching the Sunday news shows and reading a lot of the newspapers: CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, NBC, The New York Times, the AP, the Wall Street Journal, even Conde Nast Traveller (I guess they cover politics now).  Of course, the big topic among all of them is the presidential campaign.  The promises, the plans, who's going to cut taxes, who's going to raise taxes, who's tough on terror, Iran's nuclear program, pre-conditions, voter fraud, voter disenfranchisement, vice presidential picks, the national debt, withdrawal plans, Saturday Night Live, one world order, your mother, my mother, blah, blah, blah...  It took me all day but I eventually found the one piece of video that sums it ALL up perfectly:

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PS - These guys are called Sons Of Butcher.  Check out some of their other videos after this one.  They'll rock your nut sack off! (In an 80's-glam rock kinda way)

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REPOSTING HILARITY

Today is a re-post from February of a joke some guys played on their roommate.  They set up a camera and played a recording of a shotgun being fired.  I don't know what it is about watching some kid trying to avoid gunfire that tickles my funny bone but, goddam, this shit makes me giggle.  Stay strong... and safe.

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Roommate Gun Shots Prank - Watch more free videos

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Happy Halloween you maniacs.  Trick or tits.

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This is Alexis Lopez.  She's your standard, basic 20-something model who probably likes kittens and world peace - in that order.  The bummer about this chick is that she won't do any nude modeling.  What the fuck is that all about?!?  A little advice for Ms. Lopez from a crafty veteran of romance and moose knuckling (look it up): if you want to make it in this business you're gonna have to flash a little dick mitten now and then.  I'm just sayin'.  More non-nude pics of her here.

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Even though it's late fall I decided to take a chance and sneak a few summertime beers down my gullet in the form of Corona Light.  That's right... I take chances for you fuckers.  And, I gotta say, I thought it was great.  It's not a real flavorful beer but it was clean and crisp and actually tasted like steak it was so good.  Now here comes the weird part.  Beer Advocate rates this beer an "F" ... avoid.  I'm getting the feeling that BA employs a bunch of snooty dicks.

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Tune tonight is from this band, Depswa.  They're an alt. metal band out of California.  I think their career peaked back in '03 when they performed at Ozzfest.  Someone should tell them they aren't going anywhere with the singer from Smashing Pumpkins.  Really man... who are they trying to fool?  Anyway, here's their righteous tunage, "Two Angels And A Dream."   

That's the end of the road for this little journey.  Time to go put some brother's in check.  Stay strong.

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THE BAILOUT SCAM, MCCAIN'S PIMP HAND, AND EPIC PORN

Kind of a mixed bag of topics tonight because I'm in a weird mood. Let's just say my day started with me jerking off in front of a window like a goddam monkey.  It was downhill from there.  So let's get on with the random-ness.

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Hey, remember that pesky little $820 BILLION "bail out" we had awhile back?  Yeah?  Well, turns out the banks that are getting the money - and who are supposed to be using it to give loans to people - are using it to acquire other banks instead.  NYT article here.  Sounds like this bail out was the same as giving $20 to your 16 year old daughter on Friday night and telling her to save it for college.  These kind of stories make me glad I never went to prison - I hate getting f-ed in the A.

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McCain is having some Palin problems.  Bitch flipped the script! 

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And just to chill shit out after some finance and politics I thought we'd go to the porn.  In this film, "My Sister's Hot Friend," I don't think the "hot friend" is using the 'hard to get' approach - a mating strategy I've had a lot of experience with.  I'm not going to go into all the subtleties of getting past it; but lets just say you can avoid a lot of the flirty little kicks to the groin and screams of Bug off you fucking creep! with a gentlemanly tip o' the cap and the introduction of yourself as Lord Throbbington IV. Ta for now Chaps.  

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HOW MANY MILES PER GALLON DOES YOUR BODY GET?

If it wasn't for random bullshit and porn I don't think the internet would exist.  And that means WTCCTR wouldn't exist either.  I know.  I know.  It's almost impossible to comprehend the utter awfulness of it.  Of course, there would be advantages.  I'd have way more time to devote to driving around with my Viet Nam buddies solving crimes.  Wait... that's the A-Team isn't it?  ... Hmmm... I coulda sworn I was the silvery haired ring leader.  Anyway, on to the bullshit!  Featured tonight is a calculator that figures out your miles per gallon.  No, not your car's miles per gallon - YOUR miles per gallon.  In other words, if you drank a gallon of water mixed with liquid food, how far could you walk until you dropped dead.  At the end you're given your own personal miles per gallon which is then translated into what kind of car you would be.  What kind of car was I?  Let's just say you couldn't afford me (hint: if you put a monster cock on a Bugatti you'd be close).

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42 miles per gallon

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