FRIDAY'S ... uh... SATURDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Yeah, it happened again.  I got called away on super urgent business that involved Asian lesbians and tight ropes.  Let's just say that the last time my scrotum was that close to a samurai sword was.. uh... never.  

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The babe is Sara Jean Underwood.  She was Playboy's Playmate of the Year in 2007 and she's majoring in woman's studies at Oregon State University.  One of those things I find extremely interesting and the other one I could care less about.  I'll leave it up to you to figure out which is which.  More pics of her here.

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The beer tonight is actually a spirit: saki.  (You thought I was kidding about the Asians weren't you?)  So I don't know if anyone out there has ever had saki but it's served warm and in a little fucking tiny thimble sized cup; so I suggest if you go out to have some to bring your own pint glass.  It tasted a little like warm rum to me and had about the same kick.  My suggestion?  Stick with the suds... and buy American.

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The band is Index Case.  They're from Iowa and play something called "melodic nu metal" ... whatever the f*ck that means.  They all look pretty 80's if you ask me.  Except for that guy on the far right.  He looks like the guy in my high school who was 19 years old and still a senior.  And that was the same gesture he would make as he did burnouts in the parking lot with my ex-girlfriend.  Ahh... good times.  Anyway, here's their tune "Deserver" because no one is more deserver-er than us.  Stay strong.

Index Case - Deserver .mp3


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WANT TO SHIT YOUR PANTS?

Hey, guess what?  That pesky little "bail out" for $820 BILLION isn't really going as planned.  It seems that right before the Fed handed over those big, sweaty wads of cash to the banks it eradicated a tax law that prevented them from buying other financial intuitions.  So?  Well, that means all that money that was supposed to be loaned to small businesses and Joe the Plumber to do business, pay employees, and buy goods is now going towards AIG getaways, executive bonuses, and consuming other banks.  What does all this REALLY mean?  Put on a pair of old underwear and check this shit out...

The German sub-titles are there to make sure you understand what you're hearing in case you can't fucking believe your ears with the English.  Stay strong.

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THREE ALTERNATIVE JESUS'

I'll level with you: I'm not a religious dude.  Except for that time in Tijuana when I ate some spunky peyote at a donkey show, I never really believed in some 2000 year old carpenter who wasn't good at dodging the law.  Maybe if there was some kind of alternative Jesus I could better relate to.  Hmmm...

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, babe, beer, tune, alternative, jesus, carpenter, guns, pumpitude

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VETERANS DAY.

Veteran's Day today.  I think it's something a lot of us take for granted.  I know I do.  But it's the veterans - the guys who raged on the fields of Lexington and Concord during the Revolutionary War, with bullets the size of softballs being blasted into their battle formations; or the guys now being sniped in a desert halfway across the globe in 120 degree heat and stinging sideways sandstorms - who allow me to shuffle around my apartment on an odd Tuesday in November wearing my boxers and robe and watch Maury Povich while I slop around in a big plate of day old chicken fingers.  It is their sacrifice in blood and treasure that is the price of our liberty.  Thank you veterans.

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AMAZING GRACE

I don't know about you but I'm having a little patriotism hangover after all the recent clusterf*ck to the White House.  And the only way I know how to handle a hangover is a little hair of the dog.  So tonight I'm posting an inspiring rendition of Amazing Grace.  It's not exactly a patriotic song but it sort of feels that way.  So grab the tissues and buckle up for the most ghetto-liscious, cracked-out rendition of Amazing Grace you've ever heard.  Hang with it until the end - there's a big fucking finish.  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: humor, finance, election, babe, beer, tune, amazing grace, crack head, tune in tokyo

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Ok maniacs, it's Friday.  In the spirit of our new President I'm opting for change.  So, starting tonight, Friday's posts are going to be "Dudes, Doilies, and Skin Flutes."  Whaddya think?  ... ahhh... just funnin' ya.

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Babe o' the night is Vanessa Raia and she's by far the coolest babe I've featured on the Friday post.  Why?  Check this out: cop in the air force - check, stunt rides and races motorcycles - check, Playboy bunny blackjack dealer - check, bartender - check, model - check.  The only way this broad could be any more perfect is if she had a beer tap shooting out of the middle of her back.  More pics of her here.

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I'd never had this flavor of Sam Adams so I thought I'd give Irish Red a shot.  I was curious as to how it matched up against the gold standard of Irish Red beers: Killians.  Let me kill the suspense... it made Killians look like it's jail bitch.  Jim Koch is God's messenger on Earth; and his scripture is beer my friends.  Malty, hoppy, nipple-scorching beer!  Beer Advocate rates Irish Red a B+ ... "very good."  (Killians was rated a C+).  

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These guys are Bleed The Dream and they're responsible for tonight's tune.  I kind of like these guys because they're a straight up rock band from Southern California (no Christian rock this week you Jesus freaks).  The tune is "Who's Killing Who?"  I have a guess: these dudes are killing me with their cliche'd, disaffected rock band stare.  That's my guess and I'm sticking to it.  Stay strong.

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SMELLS LIKE AWESOME

I thank the baby Jesus I was born with talent and good looks because they facilitated my learning the devastating ninja skills I enjoy today.  I mean, a ninja army won't follow some ugly, bumbling hack.  Er.. what was I... oh yeah - talent.  The kid featured tonight is Sungha Jung and he's an 11 year old guitar prodigy who's able to make his instrument sing, which I understand completely.  I don't mean to brag but I've been known to play a pretty mean skin flute.  Yeah, it's reduced grown men - and ninjas - to tears.  So anyway, here's Sungha playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  If you like it check out more of his video's here.  He's got like 200 posted on YouTube.  Stay strong and keep strokin'.

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