OOH... THAT'S A BAD INJURY.

If you're a dude, you can feel what this little dude is saying.   I know because it happened to me.  Some guy knocked me down, took my chicken McNuggets, and... well... then this happened.

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That's how these sonsabitches operate.  You gotta protect yourself... and your nuggets.

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Salutations Bitches.  Time again to toss one off, toss one back, and toss the nearest broad.  Game on.

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Ericka Underwood.  Yup.  Ms. Underwood is a 25 year old bikini model from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  I don't know about you but I really don't care to know more about her than that.  Seriously.  Who cares what her 'turn ons' are and what sign she is.  She's probably annoying as fuck once she opens her pie hole.  More pics of her here.  But - just in case I meet her someday - Ericka... just kidding about all that.  I know you have a whizz-bang personality on ya.  (Hey, you never know).

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I'm going to the dark side with the beer pick this week.  Milwaukee's Best Ice.  I know.  Hardcore.  But that's how I roll.  Now, I haven't had Milwaukee's Best since college; and I've never had the high-tech "ice" version.  So I knew I was jumping in the deep end on this.  I have to say it wasn't too bad.  It wasn't good but if Russians were parachuting in and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were riding down Main Street, I'd crack a few Mil's Best Ice open.  Beer Advocate wasn't as generous as I was.  They rated it a D+ ... "avoid."  By the way, you are able to wear the can over your head like the gentleman in the picture above.  I had to strap the 6 pack on the roof of my car just to get it home.  True story.

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Band this week is Anberlin and yeah, that's them.  I shit you not.  The lead singer (I'm assuming that's the dude standing front and center) looks like my 9th grade science teacher.  He was such a zero that a kid tossed a paper airplane at him once and it actually stuck in his wonky hair-do.  Anyway, they're an alt-rock band from Winter Haven, Florida.  I know, I was blown away too... THE Winter Haven, Florida.  What the fuck.  Why do they even include that information in their bio?  Why don't they say they're from Ballsack, USA and just get it over with.  Cool tune tho.  It's "Godspeed."  

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9/11 TRIBUTE.

For all the guys who went in when everyone else was running out.  And the 343 who never left.

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LET'S FIGHT!

Ever have one of those days where you feel squirrely as hell and just want to get in a fight?  Well, I'm having one today.  For some reason I woke up and just wanted to kick the living fuck out of someone.  Or have someone bash my balls in.  Either way would have done the trick.  So I go all day gritting my teeth just looking for trouble.  Then I get home and start watching videos about fighting and reading General Patton quotes.  Before I know it I'm throwing myself down the stairs and using my ball sack like a speed bag.  And that's no joke when you're sporting fists of fury like mine.  So here is a picture, video, and a few words of wisdom on how to absolutely kick ass.  Stay strong.

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"...we as attackers have the initiative, we know exactly what we are going to do, while the enemy is ignorant of our intentions and can only parry our blows. We must retain this tremendous advantage by always attacking rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, and without rest."

- General George S. Patton Jr.

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WTCCTR - THE SOUNDTRACK - PART DEUX!

The soundtrack is back Baby!  A few months ago I posted the first joint of compiled songs from my "Friday's Babe, Beer, and a Tune" posts.  You can see that post here.  Well, the righteous tunes have piled up and now I'm back with soundtrack #2.  Youbetcha!  I mean, all of the songs are so goddam good it fucks me up a little.  I'm listening to it now and I'm getting a wicked case of the jimmy legs and have a crazy urge to sear my nipples with my iron.  I know - a sure sign of good tunage.  There is a *bummer alert* however: iTunes didn't have three of the songs so they aren't listed on the official soundtrack.  They are:

"Rock The Casbah" by TRUST COMPANY

"Take This Breath" by DEAD POETIC

"Live And Learn" by NURAL

Not having them on there is like leaving for vacation and forgetting one of your kids at home.  Goddam travesty.  If you click the songs above they'll like to my post of them but that won't get them on the iTunes soundtrack.  Balls across the nose! 

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Anyway, here's soundtrack #2.  Just click one of the songs and it will open up the audio goodness in your iTunes player.  

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TAXES HURT MY SPHINCTER - PART 7

Whoa.  Apologies up front Bitches.  I was out of town for a few days helping to catch that nutty fucker who was breaking into people's homes, rubbing spices on them, and beating them with a sausage.  Sick bastard.  But I'm back!  And I wanted to return to the video series "Freedom To Fascism," which looks at the legality of the Federal Income Tax.  My past posts on it are here but the video links are no longer working so truck on over to YouTube for the rest of them.  

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In this segment the Producer/Narrator Aaron Russo interviews my man Ron Paul and explains why you can't buy shit any more without giving up half a testicle as collateral.  ... What?  I only actually did that one time and it was with a Jamaican voodoo doctor who said he'd make my pecker "long like river."  Pfft... shit... he can have one of my nuts.  They're HUGE anyway.  I'm all balls; with a pinch of choad thrown in for embarrassments sake.  Uh... yeah... anyway... taxes...

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

It's the ass end of a long week here.  Let's pull puds, drink suds, and jam with some buds.

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The babe: Alexia Lei.  She's a 27 year old model born in Washington state.  Basically a nobody right now.  But a hot nobody.  I just want her to know that if she wants to make something of her life and be a somebody she needs to remember two things: 1) Lord loves a workin' man 2) Don't trust whitey.  She follows those rules and the rest is gravy.  Gravy I tell ya!  More pics of her here.

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Hold on to your ball bags Bitches because tonight's brew isn't for pussies: Genesee Cream Ale...  The Green Death.  I pictured it in it's can form because I don't think they even bother to bottle it.  The glass rejects the liquid as being foul and impure.  I've had this beer about twice in my life and my sphincter has gone into violent convulsions both times.  It's an ok tasting beer but you will pay a price the next morning in the form of violent Hershey squirts.  I rate this beer as a 'do not want.'  Beer Advocate rates it a C... mediocre.  If you hate your anus then, go ahead, pour yourself a glass.

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The band: Atomship.  The tune: Friends.  A progressive rock band from Mississippi.  I like this band.  Mainly because they're totally into UFO's and extra-terrestrials.  There's nothing like talking about paranormal shit with some southern rockers.  I mean, the best day in the history of my life involved a pound of hash, the band 38 Special, and an afternoon in Roswell, New Mexico.  Magic.  Just magic.

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