YOUR DOUCHEBAG NAME

You know those funny little games to figure out your porn name (mine is Trixie River)or your pirate name (yup, Rough Sailin' Wallace, that's me)...? Well, I ran across one I'd never tried before: your douchebag name. I'm pretty fascinated by douchebags in general, especially the New Jersey Douchebag. So when I saw the chance to get a glimpse of myself through the douchebag prism, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I'll never be that tanned, that moussed, or that puckered; so the least I can do is take a run at the name. It's a weak stab at douchey glory I'll admit, but I went for it anyway. The moral of this story - hang on to your dreams kids.

Your Douchebag Name

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THEY PEED ON YOUR F*CKING RUG

I've posted about the greatest movie ever made - The Big Lebowski - in the past. But since then, the video featuring the full movie has been pulled from Hulu. So, I'm putting up a single scene from the sublime piece of cinematic ecstasy that is The Big Lebowski. In it, The Dude (Jeff Bridges), Walter (John Goodman) and Donny (Steve Buscemi) are setting up the motivation for their characters that will drive them through the remainder of the movie - finding who peed on The Dude's rug and getting it replaced. Scorsese and Hitchcock better take some notes because this is how you f*cking write f*cking movie dialogue baby! Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: the big lebowski, jeff bridges, steve buscemi, john goodman, scorcese, hitchcock, movie, greatist, health, care, the beatles, incontinent pets

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MORE RIGHTEOUS MASH-UPS

I try to keep things moving on this site. You know, keep it fresh. Keep it fly. Because that's how I roll: fresh and fly. Ask anyone. So, anyways... I wanted to avoid another Rick Ashley vs. Nirvana post... but it's gotta be done. The guy responsible for that mix - DJ Morgoth - has his own website called Mash Up Your Bootz. And the cool part is that there's twenty five - two. five. - entire playlists you can download for free. Some of the others are just as good as the Nirvana one. The Police/ColdPlay mash is particularly phat. Or Metallica/Deadmau5. I'm into it man. That's it... where's my Kongol hat? I gotta go out and get some body glitter. Stay groovy fucker.

The Cars vs. Lady Gaga

Technorati Tags: dj morgoth, mash, up, your, bootz, rick ashley, nirvana, mash up, smells like teen spirit, techno, dance, trance, metallica, the police, roxanne, enter sandman, penis murder

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH CABLE NEWS WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE...

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RICK ASTLEY GETS RIGHTEOUS

This caught me totally off guard. I clicked on this video just to get a chuckle... and I gotta admit... it was kinda awesome. Of course, it has almost nothing to do with Rick Astley. He's kind of a boob. I guess this is a testament to Kurt Cobain's genius - that you can dub any kind of crap over his music and it instantly turns great. The actual mashup of the two songs is by some German dude called DJ Morgoth. So, kudos to him. This is the equivalent of splicing together the DNA of a lion and a tse-tse fly and having everything work out ok... except for Rick's red pompadour. That'll never be ok in my book. Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: rick astley, nirvana, kurt cobain, never gonna give you up, dj morgoth, german, club, house, techno, trance, ball hair

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THE GREATEST OPENING TWO MINUTES OF A MOVIE EVER

Harry Potter and the Dark Wizard in my Pants - or whatever the hell the title is - opened this weekend. It's receiving quite a bit of fanfare for the huge box office it's doing. I haven't seen it yet but I can guarantee that it doesn't have a better opening than this one. I imagine that if Mozart were alive today, seeing a bunch of half naked men riding in a giant shopping cart and punching each other to his tune "O Fortuna" (that dramatic music dubbed over the scene); he couldn't help but hug himself inside... not in a gay way though. It's like, some things just go together... like small pox and penicillin. Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: jackass, mozart, o fortuna, harry potter, movie, opening, wizard, pants, trouser charms

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HOW TO INSTANTLY FAIL A DUI

Hey. Another weekend is upon us; and I imagine that a lot of people who frequent this site probably enjoy drinking and driving. Call it a hunch. So tonight I'm posting a video of what NOT to do if you're pulled over and given a breathalyzer test. I mean, I'm here to help you motherf*ckers. Seriously. If I didn't have you guys I'd lose the $0.0045 I make each month in AdSense revenue; and that pack of gum I was saving up for in 2011 will just have to wait. And that can't happen. I've been getting all freaky for a piece of Juicy Fruit for a while now. Stay strong.

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