TIPS TO HANDLE STRESS

Howdy ho bitches.  I don't know about you but it's been one hell of a week so far.  I mean, regular everyday life is stressful enough but when you add in having to bed the local young maidens and be a moral compass for the youth of the community... shit... it gets downright exhausting.  So here's a sign I found that gives a few handy tips on how to handle stress:

They are obviously ranked in no particular order because if they were ranked say, oh, in order of effectiveness - then masturbation would be ranked number one, with everything else a way distant second.  And I'll sometimes combine a few of those suggestions to multiply the stress relieving effects.  For example, asking for help to masturbate is a great way to blow off steam.  Or, doing yoga while masturbating is also a huge help.  Then there's masturbating while petting an animal.  ... Well, you get the idea.  Stay strong... and masturbate.

Technorati Tags: humor, babe, beer, tune, handle stress, stress, cry, masturbate, ask for help, finance, cash, tits, wild enema circus

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THE UN-EDITED PALIN/COURIC INTERVIEW.

I think everyone and their mother saw the Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric.  There was some controversy that CBS edited some of those interviews to cut out the parts embarrassing to Gov. Palin.  If they did have this deal, boy did they do a shitty job.  BUT, once again, I got your backs' bitches.  I found one of the un-edited interview clips.  It's just as I suspected too: embarrassing to the Governor.  And hilarious.  And bone crunching.  The un-edited part comes in at about 0:45.  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, palin, terry tate, football, alaska, katie couric, monster hit

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Sweet Mother Mary and the ace of spades... it's Friday!

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Babe tonight is a repeat.  Yup.  I featured her before here.  I had to go back a second time because... well... if you can't figure it out you'll need to turn in your sorry excuse for a penis to the office of man enforcement.  Anyway, her name is Melissa Marie and, other than having a monster rack, there isn't much more to be known about her.  And when you get right down to it, do we really want to know more about her?  Uh.. no.  Unless she shoots beer out of her breasts and can crap gold nuggets it's probably annoying stuff anyway.  More pics of her here.

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I don't like it any more than you do but winter is fast approaching.  We'll be ass deep in that fetid white frozen aggrivation called snow before you know it.  So it's in that spirit that I looked at Sam Adams Winter Lager this week and said to myself, 'Hey Bud, let's party!'  I like all the Sam beers and this is no exception.  It's a nice dark, spicy brew that'll put a chill in your nuts and a song in your heart.  And Beer Advocate agrees by giving it a B rating ... "good."  Alright.  So let's rock on.

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Tune tonight is "Going Down On It" by Hot Action Cop.  I know, they look like a bunch of fucking dweebs.  Yeah, you know at least one (or all) of them pick their noses and eat the boogers.  But they have a massive amount of awesome tunes, if you're into the whole rock/funk fusion thing.  Which I am.  I have to be.  The sheer density of rhythm packed into my body requires that I get the funk out and rock 'da house on a regular basis.  I'm good like that.  Stay funky bitchs.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, melissa marie, sam adams, winter, lager, hot action cop, gong down on it, get the funk out, rock 'da house, ass biscuit

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RON PAUL'S REVOLUTION ISN'T POLITICAL IT'S...

Schiff-er-riffic!  As in Peter Schiff.  As in financial.  Schiff is Ron Paul's financial guru and they've been screaming for us to watch out for this mess we're now in for years.  Schiff even wrote a book entitled, "Crash Proof: How To Profit From The Coming Economic Collapse"  back in February 2007.  And in the following clip he's forecasting our current shit storm... oh yeah, this interview was done TWO YEARS AGO!

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And here's the Schiffer from just a few days ago basically telling everyone to take their money and run like hell.

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Ok, so that was about as relaxing as a prostate exam.  But don't worry you nutty bastards because coming up tomorrow: Babe, Beer, and a Tune.  Get ready for some additional inflation... in your pants!

Technorati Tags: peter schiff, ron paul, revolution, bailout, wall street, babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, gold, silver, austrian economics, financial, mongrel piss

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POVERTY SUCKS.

Today is blog action day, which means everyone who writes a blog is supposed to cover a predetermined topic.  The topic for today's BAD is poverty.  So here's my two cents on poverty: it sucks ass.  Poverty equals no cable tv, crappy food, a shitty car, no cell phone minutes, uncomfortable mattresses, ugly dates, and stale beers.  But it's not so bad if you have a giant horn hanging off the front of your crotchal region and have the rugged good looks of a fighter pilot.  Seriously, a monster wang makes up for a lot with the ladies.  Anyway, back to poverty.  As a tribute to poverty I'm posting the next installment of the documentary, Freedom To Fascism - about that filthy whore called the Federal income tax.  Stay strong.

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PS - Previous posts on it here.

Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, poverty, taxes, freedom to fascism, blog action day, whisper pubes

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NEW AC/DC SINGLE - ROCK 'N ROLL TRAIN.

Hey, how do you know when a rock band is awesome?  When they fucking rock for 35 fucking years, that's how.  Oh, and when one of their founding members is named after a steak and wears little schoolboy outfits.  Myself, I've only been rocking the masses with my electric kazoo and monster wang for about 30 years, so I haven't reached "rock legend" status yet.  I guess I'll be living off the coke and groupies until then.  In the meantime, AC/DC will be sticking a brand new album right up your ass on October 20th - just 6 days!!   I mean, christ-a-gogo... there hasn't been a decent rock and roll album since they released their last album in 2000.  So here's the first single off the new album entitled "Rock 'n Roll Train."  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, ac/dc, black ice, rock 'n roll, train, angus young, christ-a-gogo

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YOU WANNA BE PRESIDENT?

You know that old expression, "If you want something done right, do it yourself?"  Well, I'm thinking that goes for politics just as much as it goes for wagging Elvis.  So here's a nifty little program to get your campaign started.  I've already thrown my hat into the ring and am running on a platform of unfettered public masturbation and a shorter work week - in that order.  May the best man win bitches.  Game on.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, babe, beer, tune, campaign, president, '08, masturbation, wagging, elvis, shorter work week. ginger nipplage

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