5 AWESOME WALLPAPERS.

Here are five random pictures which I've deemed both righteous and awesome, for different reasons.  But they all have one thing in common: you can use them as wallpaper for your computer.  A friendly note of caution... they're awesomeness has a high probability of smoking your ass and making your pickle pucker.  Yeah.  I'm saying it.

-

Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, money, wallpaper, free, awesome, tits, batman, superman, jesus use me, clap monkey

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

SUNDAY POO

Ok, so I've been accused of having some kind of a fascination with poo.  I think it's time I set the record straight.  I really don't like crap, shit, or any other kind of stuff exiting the anal region.  Do not want.  Ok.  Now that  we're clear on that I'll contradict myself and say that I think the whole "bathroom humor" thing is hilarious.  If someone shits their pants in front of me well, that's my entertainment for the week.  So when I ran across tonight's featured site it was like the clouds parted and a little poop-Jesus said, Bring forth the feces my Son.  Sprinkle brigade is a group of guys with a lot of free time on their hands trekking around town, decorating dog shit, and taking pictures of it.  There.  Hours of entertainment on a Sunday night.  You're welcome.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, beer, babe, tune, tits, finance, money, cash, sunday, feces, anus, crap, shit, turd blossom, sprinkle brigade, dog shit, poop jesus

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

THE PALIN PORNO.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Another week skids to a halt.  Let's break out the tits!

-

One of my buddies was pointing out that I never post a blond for the "babe" portion of Friday's festivities here at WTCCTR.  So, ok, tonight I'm going blond.  (This one's for you Jbird)  The flaxen-haired strumpet is Tina Cutrone.  She is 20 years old and from Florida.  I suppose her claim to fame is having been in Playboy's All Naturals.  She likes to skydive and wants to save baby seals.  The skydiving thing is cool, if she does it naked with a double-headed dong, but saving baby seals?  I guess that's why I don't often feature blonds - they're so fucking... blond.  Anyway, see way more of her here.

-

Beer on tap is Budweiser American Ale.  I think it's ironic that Budweiser is no longer even an American owned brewery when they come out with an "American" ale brewed from the finest ingredients found here in the good old USA.  It gives me the feeling that they're jerking me around by packaging up patriotism and selling it to me.  So I guess I was going in to this beer with bad feelings.  As for the beer, it was good... for Budweiser.  A warm Sam Adams sitting in the trunk of my car for two weeks in August has better flavor than the best Bud has to offer.  That being said, I'd drink Bud's American Ale again if it was a choice between that and a homeless guy's piss, and someone had just jammed a turd in my mouth.  Beer Advocate rates it a B- ... "worthy"  Uh huh.

-

I think I'm involved in some kind of secret cult and I don't even know it.  The reason being that most of the bands I've been featuring lately have been Christian rock bands, and I really don't know why.  My only explanation is that they write some catchy shit and I'm all up in the catchy shit.  I dunno.  Anyway, this band is Falling Up.  They describe their music as "pash rock" which is a mix between "power pop" and "alternative metal."  All of that is extremely fucking gay if you ask me.  But catchy.  I'll promise to try and bounce back from this week's musical selection but for now here's "Symmetry" by Falling Up.  Ok... stay strong... for Jesus.

humor, finance, babe, beer, tune, tits, tina cutrone, playboy, all naturals, falling up, christian rock, jesus, budweiser, american, ale, turd, shit hammer

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

SKYNET IS COMING.

In the not too distant future we'll be lying in our grubby concrete underground bunkers, choking on our own BO from not having had running water for like 700 billion months; and will look back on this period of time and say this was when it all started.  It clicked into place for me today when I saw this article in which the US military is developing agile robots to track "uncooperative humans."  And if that doesn't make a little ass nugget plop into your frosty white fruit 'o the looms check out the video below, which shows the fucking robots that are going to have the 50-caliber rifles strapped to their backs telling you to comply.

-

-

Yeah, I know.  That's some serious shit right there.  Now combine that story with this one which reports US troops being deployed in US cities for "crowd control" as of October 1st.  Two plus two equals the end is extremely fucking nigh.  And that's bad news for us cowards.  Plus, I don't want to live in an underground bunker and smell my own BO... or other peoples' nasty foot odor.  And don't even get me started on the fart issue.  Let's face it - a robot revolution would suck balls, big time.  No digital cable or internet or coffee or dental floss.  Nah.  Nope.  I'm out.  Do not want.  I wonder if those maniac robot dogs could be taught to heel and fetch?  I think I've got some fucking Snausages around here somewhere.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, cash, babe, beer, tune, your mother, skynet, big dog, 50 cal., martial law, us military, army, deployed, crowd control, uncooperative, humans, monster tits

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

GUNS 'N ROSES GOES GHETTO.

Well, Guns 'N Roses finally released the new single off their long awaited album "Chinese Democracy."  I was never a huge GNR fan but this new tune is pretty cool.  It wasn't worth waiting 15 years for...  but whatever.  What do I know, right?  I only practically invented rock and roll when I told Robert Plant to grow a pair of nuts and stop singing those goddam Broadway show tunes.  It was around that same time I told one "James" Hendrix to ditch the accordion and never wear a sweater vest again.  Yeah, but what do I know Axl... you fuck.

-

And, I don't know about you, but I love me some ghetto when I listen to GNR.  Here's the plan: you play the new Guns tune then scroll down and enjoy all the fresh ghetto-ness.  Mmm... two great tastes that go great together.  I'll apologize in advance for so many ghetto pictures but they're like potato chips for me.  Once I have one I just can't stop.  Jiminy Cricket!

-

-

Pregnant at the prom.  Dreams do come true kids.

Not pregnant, yet still ghetto-fabulous.

I hate the Tigers.

Ghetto baby shower.

Ever feel like a kid in a candy store?

Ghetto-alien?  I'm going with ghetto-tard.  The hat is a dead giveaway.

I just threw up in my mouth.

Mmm... someone pinch me.

Someone's ready for a flood.

Oh the horror... the horror.

I'll bet you a million dollars there's a gold Egyptian pyramid emblazoned on the back of that robe.

Class with a capital "K"

-

Still haven't had enough ghetto goodness?  Just go here you skeezer.

Technorati Tags: humor, cash, finance, babe, beer, tune, ghetto, guns 'n roses, chinese democracy, axl rose, penis rocket

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

TIPS TO HANDLE STRESS

Howdy ho bitches.  I don't know about you but it's been one hell of a week so far.  I mean, regular everyday life is stressful enough but when you add in having to bed the local young maidens and be a moral compass for the youth of the community... shit... it gets downright exhausting.  So here's a sign I found that gives a few handy tips on how to handle stress:

They are obviously ranked in no particular order because if they were ranked say, oh, in order of effectiveness - then masturbation would be ranked number one, with everything else a way distant second.  And I'll sometimes combine a few of those suggestions to multiply the stress relieving effects.  For example, asking for help to masturbate is a great way to blow off steam.  Or, doing yoga while masturbating is also a huge help.  Then there's masturbating while petting an animal.  ... Well, you get the idea.  Stay strong... and masturbate.

Technorati Tags: humor, babe, beer, tune, handle stress, stress, cry, masturbate, ask for help, finance, cash, tits, wild enema circus

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator