FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Another week skids to a halt.  Let's break out the tits!

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One of my buddies was pointing out that I never post a blond for the "babe" portion of Friday's festivities here at WTCCTR.  So, ok, tonight I'm going blond.  (This one's for you Jbird)  The flaxen-haired strumpet is Tina Cutrone.  She is 20 years old and from Florida.  I suppose her claim to fame is having been in Playboy's All Naturals.  She likes to skydive and wants to save baby seals.  The skydiving thing is cool, if she does it naked with a double-headed dong, but saving baby seals?  I guess that's why I don't often feature blonds - they're so fucking... blond.  Anyway, see way more of her here.

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Beer on tap is Budweiser American Ale.  I think it's ironic that Budweiser is no longer even an American owned brewery when they come out with an "American" ale brewed from the finest ingredients found here in the good old USA.  It gives me the feeling that they're jerking me around by packaging up patriotism and selling it to me.  So I guess I was going in to this beer with bad feelings.  As for the beer, it was good... for Budweiser.  A warm Sam Adams sitting in the trunk of my car for two weeks in August has better flavor than the best Bud has to offer.  That being said, I'd drink Bud's American Ale again if it was a choice between that and a homeless guy's piss, and someone had just jammed a turd in my mouth.  Beer Advocate rates it a B- ... "worthy"  Uh huh.

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I think I'm involved in some kind of secret cult and I don't even know it.  The reason being that most of the bands I've been featuring lately have been Christian rock bands, and I really don't know why.  My only explanation is that they write some catchy shit and I'm all up in the catchy shit.  I dunno.  Anyway, this band is Falling Up.  They describe their music as "pash rock" which is a mix between "power pop" and "alternative metal."  All of that is extremely fucking gay if you ask me.  But catchy.  I'll promise to try and bounce back from this week's musical selection but for now here's "Symmetry" by Falling Up.  Ok... stay strong... for Jesus.

humor, finance, babe, beer, tune, tits, tina cutrone, playboy, all naturals, falling up, christian rock, jesus, budweiser, american, ale, turd, shit hammer

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SKYNET IS COMING.

In the not too distant future we'll be lying in our grubby concrete underground bunkers, choking on our own BO from not having had running water for like 700 billion months; and will look back on this period of time and say this was when it all started.  It clicked into place for me today when I saw this article in which the US military is developing agile robots to track "uncooperative humans."  And if that doesn't make a little ass nugget plop into your frosty white fruit 'o the looms check out the video below, which shows the fucking robots that are going to have the 50-caliber rifles strapped to their backs telling you to comply.

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Yeah, I know.  That's some serious shit right there.  Now combine that story with this one which reports US troops being deployed in US cities for "crowd control" as of October 1st.  Two plus two equals the end is extremely fucking nigh.  And that's bad news for us cowards.  Plus, I don't want to live in an underground bunker and smell my own BO... or other peoples' nasty foot odor.  And don't even get me started on the fart issue.  Let's face it - a robot revolution would suck balls, big time.  No digital cable or internet or coffee or dental floss.  Nah.  Nope.  I'm out.  Do not want.  I wonder if those maniac robot dogs could be taught to heel and fetch?  I think I've got some fucking Snausages around here somewhere.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, cash, babe, beer, tune, your mother, skynet, big dog, 50 cal., martial law, us military, army, deployed, crowd control, uncooperative, humans, monster tits

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GUNS 'N ROSES GOES GHETTO.

Well, Guns 'N Roses finally released the new single off their long awaited album "Chinese Democracy."  I was never a huge GNR fan but this new tune is pretty cool.  It wasn't worth waiting 15 years for...  but whatever.  What do I know, right?  I only practically invented rock and roll when I told Robert Plant to grow a pair of nuts and stop singing those goddam Broadway show tunes.  It was around that same time I told one "James" Hendrix to ditch the accordion and never wear a sweater vest again.  Yeah, but what do I know Axl... you fuck.

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And, I don't know about you, but I love me some ghetto when I listen to GNR.  Here's the plan: you play the new Guns tune then scroll down and enjoy all the fresh ghetto-ness.  Mmm... two great tastes that go great together.  I'll apologize in advance for so many ghetto pictures but they're like potato chips for me.  Once I have one I just can't stop.  Jiminy Cricket!

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Pregnant at the prom.  Dreams do come true kids.

Not pregnant, yet still ghetto-fabulous.

I hate the Tigers.

Ghetto baby shower.

Ever feel like a kid in a candy store?

Ghetto-alien?  I'm going with ghetto-tard.  The hat is a dead giveaway.

I just threw up in my mouth.

Mmm... someone pinch me.

Someone's ready for a flood.

Oh the horror... the horror.

I'll bet you a million dollars there's a gold Egyptian pyramid emblazoned on the back of that robe.

Class with a capital "K"

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Still haven't had enough ghetto goodness?  Just go here you skeezer.

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TIPS TO HANDLE STRESS

Howdy ho bitches.  I don't know about you but it's been one hell of a week so far.  I mean, regular everyday life is stressful enough but when you add in having to bed the local young maidens and be a moral compass for the youth of the community... shit... it gets downright exhausting.  So here's a sign I found that gives a few handy tips on how to handle stress:

They are obviously ranked in no particular order because if they were ranked say, oh, in order of effectiveness - then masturbation would be ranked number one, with everything else a way distant second.  And I'll sometimes combine a few of those suggestions to multiply the stress relieving effects.  For example, asking for help to masturbate is a great way to blow off steam.  Or, doing yoga while masturbating is also a huge help.  Then there's masturbating while petting an animal.  ... Well, you get the idea.  Stay strong... and masturbate.

Technorati Tags: humor, babe, beer, tune, handle stress, stress, cry, masturbate, ask for help, finance, cash, tits, wild enema circus

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THE UN-EDITED PALIN/COURIC INTERVIEW.

I think everyone and their mother saw the Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric.  There was some controversy that CBS edited some of those interviews to cut out the parts embarrassing to Gov. Palin.  If they did have this deal, boy did they do a shitty job.  BUT, once again, I got your backs' bitches.  I found one of the un-edited interview clips.  It's just as I suspected too: embarrassing to the Governor.  And hilarious.  And bone crunching.  The un-edited part comes in at about 0:45.  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, palin, terry tate, football, alaska, katie couric, monster hit

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Sweet Mother Mary and the ace of spades... it's Friday!

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Babe tonight is a repeat.  Yup.  I featured her before here.  I had to go back a second time because... well... if you can't figure it out you'll need to turn in your sorry excuse for a penis to the office of man enforcement.  Anyway, her name is Melissa Marie and, other than having a monster rack, there isn't much more to be known about her.  And when you get right down to it, do we really want to know more about her?  Uh.. no.  Unless she shoots beer out of her breasts and can crap gold nuggets it's probably annoying stuff anyway.  More pics of her here.

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I don't like it any more than you do but winter is fast approaching.  We'll be ass deep in that fetid white frozen aggrivation called snow before you know it.  So it's in that spirit that I looked at Sam Adams Winter Lager this week and said to myself, 'Hey Bud, let's party!'  I like all the Sam beers and this is no exception.  It's a nice dark, spicy brew that'll put a chill in your nuts and a song in your heart.  And Beer Advocate agrees by giving it a B rating ... "good."  Alright.  So let's rock on.

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Tune tonight is "Going Down On It" by Hot Action Cop.  I know, they look like a bunch of fucking dweebs.  Yeah, you know at least one (or all) of them pick their noses and eat the boogers.  But they have a massive amount of awesome tunes, if you're into the whole rock/funk fusion thing.  Which I am.  I have to be.  The sheer density of rhythm packed into my body requires that I get the funk out and rock 'da house on a regular basis.  I'm good like that.  Stay funky bitchs.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, melissa marie, sam adams, winter, lager, hot action cop, gong down on it, get the funk out, rock 'da house, ass biscuit

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RON PAUL'S REVOLUTION ISN'T POLITICAL IT'S...

Schiff-er-riffic!  As in Peter Schiff.  As in financial.  Schiff is Ron Paul's financial guru and they've been screaming for us to watch out for this mess we're now in for years.  Schiff even wrote a book entitled, "Crash Proof: How To Profit From The Coming Economic Collapse"  back in February 2007.  And in the following clip he's forecasting our current shit storm... oh yeah, this interview was done TWO YEARS AGO!

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And here's the Schiffer from just a few days ago basically telling everyone to take their money and run like hell.

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Ok, so that was about as relaxing as a prostate exam.  But don't worry you nutty bastards because coming up tomorrow: Babe, Beer, and a Tune.  Get ready for some additional inflation... in your pants!

Technorati Tags: peter schiff, ron paul, revolution, bailout, wall street, babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, gold, silver, austrian economics, financial, mongrel piss

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