SKYNET IS COMING.

In the not too distant future we'll be lying in our grubby concrete underground bunkers, choking on our own BO from not having had running water for like 700 billion months; and will look back on this period of time and say this was when it all started.  It clicked into place for me today when I saw this article in which the US military is developing agile robots to track "uncooperative humans."  And if that doesn't make a little ass nugget plop into your frosty white fruit 'o the looms check out the video below, which shows the fucking robots that are going to have the 50-caliber rifles strapped to their backs telling you to comply.

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Yeah, I know.  That's some serious shit right there.  Now combine that story with this one which reports US troops being deployed in US cities for "crowd control" as of October 1st.  Two plus two equals the end is extremely fucking nigh.  And that's bad news for us cowards.  Plus, I don't want to live in an underground bunker and smell my own BO... or other peoples' nasty foot odor.  And don't even get me started on the fart issue.  Let's face it - a robot revolution would suck balls, big time.  No digital cable or internet or coffee or dental floss.  Nah.  Nope.  I'm out.  Do not want.  I wonder if those maniac robot dogs could be taught to heel and fetch?  I think I've got some fucking Snausages around here somewhere.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, cash, babe, beer, tune, your mother, skynet, big dog, 50 cal., martial law, us military, army, deployed, crowd control, uncooperative, humans, monster tits

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GUNS 'N ROSES GOES GHETTO.

Well, Guns 'N Roses finally released the new single off their long awaited album "Chinese Democracy."  I was never a huge GNR fan but this new tune is pretty cool.  It wasn't worth waiting 15 years for...  but whatever.  What do I know, right?  I only practically invented rock and roll when I told Robert Plant to grow a pair of nuts and stop singing those goddam Broadway show tunes.  It was around that same time I told one "James" Hendrix to ditch the accordion and never wear a sweater vest again.  Yeah, but what do I know Axl... you fuck.

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And, I don't know about you, but I love me some ghetto when I listen to GNR.  Here's the plan: you play the new Guns tune then scroll down and enjoy all the fresh ghetto-ness.  Mmm... two great tastes that go great together.  I'll apologize in advance for so many ghetto pictures but they're like potato chips for me.  Once I have one I just can't stop.  Jiminy Cricket!

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Pregnant at the prom.  Dreams do come true kids.

Not pregnant, yet still ghetto-fabulous.

I hate the Tigers.

Ghetto baby shower.

Ever feel like a kid in a candy store?

Ghetto-alien?  I'm going with ghetto-tard.  The hat is a dead giveaway.

I just threw up in my mouth.

Mmm... someone pinch me.

Someone's ready for a flood.

Oh the horror... the horror.

I'll bet you a million dollars there's a gold Egyptian pyramid emblazoned on the back of that robe.

Class with a capital "K"

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Still haven't had enough ghetto goodness?  Just go here you skeezer.

Technorati Tags: humor, cash, finance, babe, beer, tune, ghetto, guns 'n roses, chinese democracy, axl rose, penis rocket

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TIPS TO HANDLE STRESS

Howdy ho bitches.  I don't know about you but it's been one hell of a week so far.  I mean, regular everyday life is stressful enough but when you add in having to bed the local young maidens and be a moral compass for the youth of the community... shit... it gets downright exhausting.  So here's a sign I found that gives a few handy tips on how to handle stress:

They are obviously ranked in no particular order because if they were ranked say, oh, in order of effectiveness - then masturbation would be ranked number one, with everything else a way distant second.  And I'll sometimes combine a few of those suggestions to multiply the stress relieving effects.  For example, asking for help to masturbate is a great way to blow off steam.  Or, doing yoga while masturbating is also a huge help.  Then there's masturbating while petting an animal.  ... Well, you get the idea.  Stay strong... and masturbate.

Technorati Tags: humor, babe, beer, tune, handle stress, stress, cry, masturbate, ask for help, finance, cash, tits, wild enema circus

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THE UN-EDITED PALIN/COURIC INTERVIEW.

I think everyone and their mother saw the Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric.  There was some controversy that CBS edited some of those interviews to cut out the parts embarrassing to Gov. Palin.  If they did have this deal, boy did they do a shitty job.  BUT, once again, I got your backs' bitches.  I found one of the un-edited interview clips.  It's just as I suspected too: embarrassing to the Governor.  And hilarious.  And bone crunching.  The un-edited part comes in at about 0:45.  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, palin, terry tate, football, alaska, katie couric, monster hit

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Sweet Mother Mary and the ace of spades... it's Friday!

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Babe tonight is a repeat.  Yup.  I featured her before here.  I had to go back a second time because... well... if you can't figure it out you'll need to turn in your sorry excuse for a penis to the office of man enforcement.  Anyway, her name is Melissa Marie and, other than having a monster rack, there isn't much more to be known about her.  And when you get right down to it, do we really want to know more about her?  Uh.. no.  Unless she shoots beer out of her breasts and can crap gold nuggets it's probably annoying stuff anyway.  More pics of her here.

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I don't like it any more than you do but winter is fast approaching.  We'll be ass deep in that fetid white frozen aggrivation called snow before you know it.  So it's in that spirit that I looked at Sam Adams Winter Lager this week and said to myself, 'Hey Bud, let's party!'  I like all the Sam beers and this is no exception.  It's a nice dark, spicy brew that'll put a chill in your nuts and a song in your heart.  And Beer Advocate agrees by giving it a B rating ... "good."  Alright.  So let's rock on.

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Tune tonight is "Going Down On It" by Hot Action Cop.  I know, they look like a bunch of fucking dweebs.  Yeah, you know at least one (or all) of them pick their noses and eat the boogers.  But they have a massive amount of awesome tunes, if you're into the whole rock/funk fusion thing.  Which I am.  I have to be.  The sheer density of rhythm packed into my body requires that I get the funk out and rock 'da house on a regular basis.  I'm good like that.  Stay funky bitchs.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, melissa marie, sam adams, winter, lager, hot action cop, gong down on it, get the funk out, rock 'da house, ass biscuit

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RON PAUL'S REVOLUTION ISN'T POLITICAL IT'S...

Schiff-er-riffic!  As in Peter Schiff.  As in financial.  Schiff is Ron Paul's financial guru and they've been screaming for us to watch out for this mess we're now in for years.  Schiff even wrote a book entitled, "Crash Proof: How To Profit From The Coming Economic Collapse"  back in February 2007.  And in the following clip he's forecasting our current shit storm... oh yeah, this interview was done TWO YEARS AGO!

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And here's the Schiffer from just a few days ago basically telling everyone to take their money and run like hell.

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Ok, so that was about as relaxing as a prostate exam.  But don't worry you nutty bastards because coming up tomorrow: Babe, Beer, and a Tune.  Get ready for some additional inflation... in your pants!

Technorati Tags: peter schiff, ron paul, revolution, bailout, wall street, babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, gold, silver, austrian economics, financial, mongrel piss

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POVERTY SUCKS.

Today is blog action day, which means everyone who writes a blog is supposed to cover a predetermined topic.  The topic for today's BAD is poverty.  So here's my two cents on poverty: it sucks ass.  Poverty equals no cable tv, crappy food, a shitty car, no cell phone minutes, uncomfortable mattresses, ugly dates, and stale beers.  But it's not so bad if you have a giant horn hanging off the front of your crotchal region and have the rugged good looks of a fighter pilot.  Seriously, a monster wang makes up for a lot with the ladies.  Anyway, back to poverty.  As a tribute to poverty I'm posting the next installment of the documentary, Freedom To Fascism - about that filthy whore called the Federal income tax.  Stay strong.

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PS - Previous posts on it here.

Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, poverty, taxes, freedom to fascism, blog action day, whisper pubes

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