YOU SHOULDN'T FART ON CORNED BEEF

My buddy was making a corned beef dinner for us a few days ago in celebration of St. Patrick's Day.  So that's nice, right?  Well, I was watching him prepare it and while he was basting the luscious brisket with some mustard and brown sugar; he stopped, turned, and laid a fart right on it.  And it smelled like his ass was retarded or something.  Just awful.  But I was brave and ate it anyway.  Not brave enough to tell the other people eating it though.  Hey, what they don't know ... Anyway, I don't know if you've ever tasted a fart but I'm gonna let you in on an unexplored avenue of the culinary ghetto - farts taste like they smell.  Pff... yeah... I know.  So, Buckos, time for the moral of this story: DO NOT fart on corned beef, or any other processed meat for that matter.  In fact, I am now officially against farting on livestock in general, living or dead.  It doesn't seal in the flavor.  It doesn't "add spice."  And it doesn't make you look cool.  Carry on you filthy bastards.