QUITE POSSIBLY THE GREATEST THING EVER SAID.

Yeah, that's right.  This guy to the left.  Sure, he was in the Blade movies with Wesley Snipes, which moved his cool factor from a -7 to about a 1 - which still puts him solidly pansy in my book.  But there's a new article in Rolling Stone this month about good old Kris, and a run-in he had with Toby Keith.  

Kris Kristofferson was backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday party several years ago.  While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight."

At that moment in time, Keith had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age.

Kristofferson said "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith; Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.  Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man?  Huh?  Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it?  No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."

Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't 'what' me, boy!  You heard the question.  You just don't like the answer.  I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?'  The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"  And then, right there in front of Ray Charles, Norah Jones, and Willie Nelson, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"

Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh.  At the end he said, "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'"

Take a moment to drink in the absolute sublime perfection of that last line.  Who knew Waylon Jennings was such a goddam brilliant orator.

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