MAKE $790 IN TWO EASY STEPS... LEGALLY... er... YEAH

I'm mostly a BOCE when it comes to financial matters.  That old 'give me two $10s for a $5' trick still gives me trouble.  My first girlfriend took me for $4870 and watched me have to hock my 1994-97 porn library just to keep up with the expenses on my rock-and-roll-yoga/drive-thru-proctology business... that never really got off the ground but it's a niche market and I'm a player baby... but... uh... where was I?  OH, ok, so from watching banks breaking down, the Fed freaking out, gas guzzling up to $4.oo/gallon, and little Georgie Bush giving me his "My Pet Goat" look; I stared doing some research online - and a few months ago I bought my first few ounces of gold.  Since then it's gone up a few hundred dollars an ounce.  And guess what?  It's only going to go higher.  So how can you make $790.oo in two easy steps??  

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1.  Buy 1 ounce of gold today.  A krugerrand (1 oz. of gold) is selling for about $1010.oo.

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2.  Sell that krugerrand in about twelve months, when the price is around $1800.oo.  

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If you do a little poking around about the historical prices of gold and where it's headed you'll see that it's a pretty safe bet.  In fact, I sold my 1997-2002 porn library - including my collection of double headed dongs (long story there) - and put all the cash into that sweet, buttery metal.  Here's an article that was in Forbes yesterday if you don't believe me --> here.

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So get to it Buckos!  There's gold in 'dem 'dar... hills... er... local coin shops.