I almost didn't go to my senior prom. I know... I almost can't believe it either. My musty sexuality and cheetah-tastic animal magnetism really didn't kick in until I was solidly in my late 20's... about the same time my balls dropped. Still, I managed to scrape up a date and go. I don't remember the details except that, despite my date being wrapped up like a mummy and completely un-interested in me sexually; I was so incredibly smoked up in my pants that just holding her hand almost caused me to jizz up my cumber bun. So if she had worn a slutty dress I think my crotch would have actually exploded off my body from the sheer freocity of my inadvertent pelvic thrusting. My point being - isn't this overkill? I mean, having hooker-ish prom dresses is like throwing gasoline on a fire at a gunpowder factory. To all the prom-aged girls out there... come closer... I have a secret for you: IT'S PROM NIGHT! YOU'RE GONNA GET ATTENTION AND SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR! Kee-ripes.
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