WTCCTR - THE SOUNDTRACK!

If you're a regular to this site you know I post a song (along with a luscious babe and frothy beer) every week for your listening pleasure.  Well, I made a soundtrack of these tunes and posted them on Apple's iTunes store.  So for just $12.87 you can absolutely rock your nuts off.  I mean, the first time I heard all these songs on one play list I actually pissed myself it was so good; and I haven't had a genuine case of incontinence like that since the time I ate a handful of magic mushrooms just before St. Mother Mary Katherine's 62nd annual chili cook off and midget toss.  True story.  

=

So if you have iTunes on your computer and you want to check it out, go here.  Yeah.  What now Bitches?

Technorati Tags: soundtrack, silent civilian, modern day zero, nural, alter bridge, presence, kids in the way, edgewater, buzzhorn, evans blue, celldweller, papa roach, submersed, decyfer down, incense, ass pony

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.... ON SATURDAY... SO SCREW YOU.

Ok, funny story.  I was preparing for yesterday's post and ended up doing a little too much research.  So when I woke up in front of my neighbor's house with an empty bag of saline solution in one hand and a pinwheel in the other, I decided to cut my losses and go to bed immediately.  

-

But I'm back!  And I'm posting Friday's babe, beer, and a tune because I'm good like that.  God I love you fuckers.

-

Tonight's babe is Claudia Verela.  She's a full time fitness/bikini model who won't do nudes because "that isn't the road [she] wants to follow."  Uh... ok.  Yeah, I mean, who would want to see her totally naked anyway?!?  Not me buddy.  I don't need that kind of pressure.  More pics of her here.

-

As I alluded to above, last night was kind of a blur but I remember it all started with a sixer of Guinness.  I always enjoy Guinness but that's because I don't mind taking in the same amount of calories as an entire loaf of bread in one glass of beer.  And any brew you drink yourself into a blackout with is a 'thumbs up' in my book.  You betcha.  Beer Advocate rates it a B+ ... "very good"... so a big 'fuck yeah' all around.  I'll do a review of the 1000cc of saline solution I apparently drank if/when I can remember drinking it.

-

The tunage I'm smoking your ass with tonight is "Bitter Pill" by Silent Civilian.  They're a metal core band out of L.A.  What is metal core?  I have no f*cking idea.  All I know is that I crank up this tune so loud my balls vibrate.  

"Bitter Pill"

-

Lastly. I'm trying to increase my readership.  So if you know anyone who would enjoy the quality tits, humor, and money advice that I roll into every joint I post, please email them a link to this site.  Thanks bitches.

Technorati Tags: claudia verela, babe, guiness, beer, bitter pill, silent civilian, tune, boobs, babes, beers, tits, monster turds, cash

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

EXPLODING WHALES AND CEMENT TURKEYS.

I'm not a rocket scientist.  But my saving grace is that I don't have access to 1/2 ton of dynamite or a rotting whale carcass.  I guess not everyone is that lucky.  

-

-

It kind of reminded me of another clip I'd seen when I was just a kid, around the time I'd realized that tugging on my tits with salad tongs made me feel pretty.  The scene is from the tv show "WKRP in Cincinnati." 

-

Fuck yeah Les Nesman.

Technorati Tags: whale, dynamite, expolsion, wkrp in cincinatti, tits, salad tongs, cement, death, anphetamines, high calonic

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

POSSIBLY THE WORST THING EVER: MINI-ME SEX TAPE

I have never been a big fan of Verne Troyer.  I didn't even find him entertaining in the Austin Powers movies.  He was more like a creepy little foot note.  Now we get a taste of his sex tape.  It's only a little clip but it's probably the worst thing I've ever seen in the history of my life.  Even worse than the time I misread an ad and spent two hours in a time-share seminar with Wally Firebrand - a staunch naturalist with rabid B.O.  Ah... good times.

-

Catch the horror here.

Technorati Tags: verne troyer, sex tape, mini me, babes, beer, tunes, boobs, home depot, your mother

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

MAKE YOUR OWN RECEIPTS!

Once upon a time I had a job where I had to submit receipts for everything: mileage, tolls, bitches.  Of course, I'd lose many of the receipts.  So I'd have to go to one of my co-workers - who used to be in the mob - and beg him to make receipts for me using some kind of illicit receipt machine he'd cobbled together.  Do you know how hard it is not to stare at the mutilated nose of an ex-mobster in order not to offend him?  Lemme tell ya Buckos, it's hard.  I mean, the dude got stabbed right in his nose in a brawl in a NYC subway.  It's hard to convince a guy like that of the importance of getting reimbursed $1.25 for thruway tolls.  

-

But beg no more!  Now there's a web site that allows you to make your own receipts.  The site is Custom Receipt Maker.  And, as you can see from my sample posted above, the sky's the limit.  I mean, getting your employer to pay for your skittles and... uh... other weekend necessities...  is a nifty little perk!

-

By the way, all that stuff about working with an ex-mobster who got stabbed in the nose... 100% true.  Dave, if you're reading this, I need my cooler back.

Technorati Tags: custom, reciept, maker, babe, beer, tune, pig fat

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

4 POLITICALLY INCORRECT PICS AND 1 PICKLE TICKLER.

Say hey Bitches.  I was surfing around the internets looking for a Pez dispenser that will work with Viagra and came across some righteous pictures.  Four of 'em tickle my funny bone and the fifth makes my dingus tingle.

-

Bad wassamelon.

-

Amen.  All clowns must fucking die.

-

Yeah, I'm going to hell... but I'll be giggling.

-

We've all been there.

-

I think this is an ad for underwear, which makes

sense because I just ruined the pair I'm wearing.

Technorati Tags: clowns, chicken, watermelon, marathon, crap, incontinence, babe, beer, tune, sexy nurse, underwear, pipewrench

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Hey Hey... first babe, beer, and a tune in a few weeks.  And I'm back with a bang baby.  

-

KAPOW!  The babe is Erin Ellington.  She's basically a fitness model.  Oh she's fit.  She's fit.  Very.. uh.. fit.  Shit has me mumbling to myself.  More pics of her here.

-

I'm not a great golfer but I am a great beer drinker.  And coolers fit perfectly on the back of those gay-ish golf carts.  So last week I was following one of those little white balls around and drinking on some icy cold Heineken lights.  Two words: delicious.  Well, that's only one word but they were really tasty.  Unfortunately, beer advocate rates Heiny lights as D+ ... "avoid."  Huh.

-

Tune tonight is "So Sorry To Say" by Celldweller.  Even though these guys look like they're from Venus, they're really a Detroit band.  And this song isn't "sorry" at all.  It's actually pretty awesome.

-

"So Sorry To Say"

-

Work the weekend Buckos!  And stay strong... strong like bull you crazy bastards.

Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, erin ellington, celldweller, heineken, toilet brush

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

THERE ARE NO UGLY WOMEN, ONLY POOR ONES.

This site is a compilation of some of the Extreme Makeover contestants, where they take an absolute ass-faced female and turn her into a beautiful swallow... or swan... or basically make her not look like a frying pan.  I gotta be honest... it really messed my shit up to see this.  I mean, I'm old school - ugly is ugly in my book.  I didn't think God allowed do-overs when it came to ugly.  Guess I was wrong.  

-

It makes my heart glad to think that in 50-100 years plastic surgery will be so advanced that there won't be any more ugliness.  That is, I'm glad for other people.  I'm on the other side of the spectrum and sometimes wish I could ugly down a little bit.  Having chicks always pawing at your pants is cool for 5 or 6 years but at some point you just have to do your banking and buy groceries without someone wanting to suck on your nuts for cripes sakes.

Technorati Tags: hot chicks, extreme makeover, elephant man, babes, cleaning products

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

I'M BACK... SORT OF. PLUS, A HOT BABE.

Howdy ho Buckos!  I know.  I know.  I haven't been around in awhile.  There are a few reasons for this; not the least of which is the fact that my devastating charm and scintillating wit often lead me on adventures where I fight for justice and bang sultry bitches (not necessarily in that order). 

-

Anyway, I'll be posting again but not daily as I had been doing.  Probably two or three times per week... or as my rugged good looks allow.

-

So I thank all you crazy bastards who are still checking in.  As a special titillating reward here's a picture of a hot chick.  Her name is Cora Skinner.  Her claim to fame, if you can call it that, is that she's the girlfriend of Brody Jenner.  Who's that?  I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty confident he's a dick.  

Technorati Tags: cora skinner, brody jenner, hot chick, babes, beer, tunes, boobs, macguyver

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW???

Ant eaters wearing sweaters... WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?

Technorati Tags: ant eater, sweater, god, now, babes, boobs, beers, tunes, humor, cash

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

TOP 5 SEXY PRINCESS LEIAS.

I'm a nerdy little prick.  I'm not quite smart enough to be a "geek" so that puts me solidly in the "nerd" category.  And like a good nerd I'm a huge Star Wars fan.  I even remember going to see the original in the movie theater - in 1977 - 16 times.  Oh yeah.  That's how you get in the nerd club Buckos.  By the time The Empire Strikes Back rolled around I was balls deep in puberty; so seeing Carrie Fisher in the metal bikini made me aware of the stubby little hotness in my pants.  Soon after I became a virtuoso on the old skin flute and have practiced every day since.  I guess you could say I'm a Jedi master with my horn.

-

In tribute to my wang's coming out party here are the top 5 sexy Princess Leias.  

Let me show you my Ewok.

-

Mmmmm... space beers.

-

Hey, this is the first chick.  I think this is her everyday clothes.

-

She's shiny from Lando's spooge.

-

If I ran into her in high school my entire crotchal region would have exploded off my body.

-

All for now my beautiful bitches.  May the force be with you ... and your dorks.

Technorati Tags: top, 5, princess leia, babes, boobs, beers, hot, tunes

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

5 RANDOM DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS.

Tuesday: the second most depressing day of the week.  In the spirit of Tuesday's life sucking properties,  I posted some public service announcements that are amusing yet de-motivating.  

-

-

-

-

-

Shit bricks?  I got news for you, my middle name is "shit bricks."

Technorati Tags: tuesday, demotivational poster, babe, beer, boobs, tunes, humor, cash

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

SELLING YOUR BODY FOR MONEY... RIGHT ON!

Salutations my beautiful bitches.  I'm back after a weekend hiatus to enjoy the weather, beers, some weed, lobster, more weed, 4 showers, and trying to remember where I parked my car.  

-

With gas and food prices shooting through the roof we need to find places to make a little extra cash.  I, personally, like to sell my hair and urine.  Only in America can you squirt some piss and get your head shaved - and get paid for it.  Stuff you can also sell: skin, breast milk (I don't have any of that myself but can get some), blood, your womb, and tears.  So strip down and pony up here.  Oh baby.

Technorati Tags: sell, body, hair, blood, womb, tears, body fluid, hooker, prostitute

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator