Sunday, November 30, 2008

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE

Ok, so you fuckers are gonna have to bear with me.  I scorched the shit out of my taint in a testicle enhancement procedure gone wrong.  I'll be back on Tuesday, December 9th.  Until then.... be potent and stay strong.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOU PAGANS

Ever get the feeling that Thanksgiving is a pagan holiday?  Isn't everyone gathering around a big bronzed fowl for an entire day similar to worshipping a golden calf or making a sacrifice to the Sun God Ra?  I think it is and all I'm saying is... sign me up.  Those pagans seemed to have life by the cajones: gluttony, deflowering virgins, smiting goody-two-shoes-es, drinking fomented urines... ah... Thanksgiving at my mother's house.  Good times.



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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

SAVE $1000 IN 30 DAYS

As a follow up to yesterday's post, tonight's entry is some practical tips to help you save money.  Let's face it, when the dollar is worth 1/10 of what it's worth now - and a loaf of bread costs as much as a day's pay - we're all going to become some frugal sonsabitches.  I mean, I've already cut back my Brazilian bikini waxes to twice a month.  Pretty soon I'll have to give them up all together; and that's when the old pubes choke my groinal region like a gnarly patch of bramble.  And no one is really in favor of that.



PS - full list is just a short scroll down after the link.


humor, cash, money, stocks, save, $1000, 30 days, monthly, thanksgiving, massacre, bulbous twitch

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

JUST LET IT FAIL

Here's another interview with Peter Schiff.  He's the guy who predicted this whole housing bubble and financial collapse about two years ago; when other financial analysts were literally laughing at him.  In this vid he's basically summing up how we ended up in this fiscal nightmare and the path out.  It's about a six minute clip and I encourage you to watch the whole thing... so when you're sleeping in an old refrigerator box you'll understand why.  OH, and I'll be the guy next to you wearing 4 layers of coats, asking you if you're going to eat that.  Stay strong.



Monday, November 24, 2008

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???

Once upon a time, Steve Martin was the most hilarious motherfuc*er you'd ever heard.  Here he is before he became incredibly pussified in movies like "Parenthood" and "The Pink Panther."  




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Sunday, November 23, 2008

COVER TUNES!

Ok.  Here's the deal.  The 80's had some of the best music in the history of your mother.  And the new millennium has some of the best bands ever.  Yeah, that's right.  Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, U2, Jimmi Hendrix... they can all suck my donut holder.  All you Zeppelin fans just stop your convulsing and accept the fact that they suck.  They do.  I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's true.  Stairway to Heaven is for fags.  The sooner you accept it the better off you'll be.  Moving on.  

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You get yourself some modern bands to cover 80's tunes and you've gonna have some righteous tunage on your hands.  I made a play list of the more awesome cover tunes and posted it on iTunes.  But there's only one catch: iTunes didn't have all the songs.  I had to post the titles of the missing cover tunes in the "imix notes" section of the play list.  Ok.  Ready?  Get your stonewashed jeans and strap in... or strap on... depending on how the 80's were for you.  The WTCCTR cover tunes play list:


Don't forget to check out the "lost" covers.  You'll be able to listen to them here.


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Saturday, November 22, 2008

FRIDAY'S ... uh... SATURDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Another lost Friday Bitches.  Yup.  Mix together a few vodka martinis, some lusty Asian secret agents, and a little international intrigue ... and I miss a blog post.  Plus, somewhere in the course of the evening, I think nicked a testicle.  Yet I push forward to bring you the finest in tits and tunes.  Goddam, would someone please give me a round of applause.
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Denise Milani is a natural 32DDD from the Czech Republic.  She is now, however, "the new queen of eroticism" - whatever the christ that means - and living in California.  She kind of reminds me of another crazy endowed chick from the Czech Republic, Veronica Zemkova.  I don't know what it is about Czeckolslovakia that gives it's women monster racks but someone should do some kind of scientific study to try and find the secret recipe.  Anyway, more pics of Denise here.
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Brew tonight is Anchor Steam.  It's a solid beer with a nice set of nuts on it.  It would be my first choice but it wouldn't be my last either.  I'm going with a 'thumbs up' on Anchor Steam.  Beer Advocate rates it a B+ ... "very good."  So, I guess what I'm saying is  'anchors' away Bitches!'
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Lo-Pro is a pretty bad assed band signed by the lead singer of Staind.  Their genre is something called "nu metal" but I like to call it "kicking your ass."  And the lead singer is bald, which is always a good sign that the band means fucking business.  Here's their tune, "Fake."  I'll smell your dead asses later.  Gotta hit the hay.  Church tomorrow.




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Thursday, November 20, 2008

BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS

The news today was dominated by the prospective bailout of the auto industry.  While Paulson and Bernanke didn't seem to set the bar too high to hand out $300 billion to a bunch of bankers (86% of which was spent on bonuses), the car guys need to submit a "plan" for the cash.  I don't think anyone should be getting bailed out but if you're going to give billions to a bunch of white collar pricks who only use their hands to jerk you off; then why are the blue collar guys who actually make something with their hands getting a hard time?  Once again, my buddy Bob sums it up perfectly.  Stay strong.






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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

MR. SATURDAY NIGHT


And this is why they call me Mr. Saturday Night.  If you've never awoke to this scene... well... then... you're just not living!  Stay strong.


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Monday, November 17, 2008

PROGRAMMING NOTE

Back when I used to hire people I'd have to sort through a lot of resumes.  It seemed pretty difficult to find someone with just the right combination of personality, experience, and education to fit a particular position.  But then I'd run across a particular resume and just know that this was the person for the job.  That happened today.  When I saw Ricky Santangelo's credentials I knew it was time for WTCCTR to take on an employee.  So I shot him an email asking him to film weekly public service announcements for this site.  Let's keep our fingers crossed as I'm sure he's currently fielding a million offers.  C'mon Ricky Santangelo!  WTCCTR needs you, you sultry Bitch!

(click image to see the insanity up close)

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

SUNDAY NIGHT BILLIONS.

Ever wonder what $5 BILLION looks like?  Well, lets all take this opportunity to kick back and fantasize about the unbelievable erections that being locked in this room would cause.  



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Saturday, November 15, 2008

FRIDAY'S ... uh... SATURDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Yeah, it happened again.  I got called away on super urgent business that involved Asian lesbians and tight ropes.  Let's just say that the last time my scrotum was that close to a samurai sword was.. uh... never.  
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The babe is Sara Jean Underwood.  She was Playboy's Playmate of the Year in 2007 and she's majoring in woman's studies at Oregon State University.  One of those things I find extremely interesting and the other one I could care less about.  I'll leave it up to you to figure out which is which.  More pics of her here.
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The beer tonight is actually a spirit: saki.  (You thought I was kidding about the Asians weren't you?)  So I don't know if anyone out there has ever had saki but it's served warm and in a little fucking tiny thimble sized cup; so I suggest if you go out to have some to bring your own pint glass.  It tasted a little like warm rum to me and had about the same kick.  My suggestion?  Stick with the suds... and buy American.
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The band is Index Case.  They're from Iowa and play something called "melodic nu metal" ... whatever the f*ck that means.  They all look pretty 80's if you ask me.  Except for that guy on the far right.  He looks like the guy in my high school who was 19 years old and still a senior.  And that was the same gesture he would make as he did burnouts in the parking lot with my ex-girlfriend.  Ahh... good times.  Anyway, here's their tune "Deserver" because no one is more deserver-er than us.  Stay strong.

Index Case - Deserver .mp3


Free Search Mp3 Code at www.codelagu.com

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

WANT TO SHIT YOUR PANTS?

Hey, guess what?  That pesky little "bail out" for $820 BILLION isn't really going as planned.  It seems that right before the Fed handed over those big, sweaty wads of cash to the banks it eradicated a tax law that prevented them from buying other financial intuitions.  So?  Well, that means all that money that was supposed to be loaned to small businesses and Joe the Plumber to do business, pay employees, and buy goods is now going towards AIG getaways, executive bonuses, and consuming other banks.  What does all this REALLY mean?  Put on a pair of old underwear and check this shit out...




The German sub-titles are there to make sure you understand what you're hearing in case you can't fucking believe your ears with the English.  Stay strong.


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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

THREE ALTERNATIVE JESUS'


I'll level with you: I'm not a religious dude.  Except for that time in Tijuana when I ate some spunky peyote at a donkey show, I never really believed in some 2000 year old carpenter who wasn't good at dodging the law.  Maybe if there was some kind of alternative Jesus I could better relate to.  Hmmm...




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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

VETERANS DAY.


Veteran's Day today.  I think it's something a lot of us take for granted.  I know I do.  But it's the veterans - the guys who raged on the fields of Lexington and Concord during the Revolutionary War, with bullets the size of softballs being blasted into their battle formations; or the guys now being sniped in a desert halfway across the globe in 120 degree heat and stinging sideways sandstorms - who allow me to shuffle around my apartment on an odd Tuesday in November wearing my boxers and robe and watch Maury Povich while I slop around in a big plate of day old chicken fingers.  It is their sacrifice in blood and treasure that is the price of our liberty.  Thank you veterans.



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Monday, November 10, 2008

AMAZING GRACE

I don't know about you but I'm having a little patriotism hangover after all the recent clusterf*ck to the White House.  And the only way I know how to handle a hangover is a little hair of the dog.  So tonight I'm posting an inspiring rendition of Amazing Grace.  It's not exactly a patriotic song but it sort of feels that way.  So grab the tissues and buckle up for the most ghetto-liscious, cracked-out rendition of Amazing Grace you've ever heard.  Hang with it until the end - there's a big fucking finish.  Stay strong.

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Friday, November 7, 2008

FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Ok maniacs, it's Friday.  In the spirit of our new President I'm opting for change.  So, starting tonight, Friday's posts are going to be "Dudes, Doilies, and Skin Flutes."  Whaddya think?  ... ahhh... just funnin' ya.
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Babe o' the night is Vanessa Raia and she's by far the coolest babe I've featured on the Friday post.  Why?  Check this out: cop in the air force - check, stunt rides and races motorcycles - check, Playboy bunny blackjack dealer - check, bartender - check, model - check.  The only way this broad could be any more perfect is if she had a beer tap shooting out of the middle of her back.  More pics of her here.
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I'd never had this flavor of Sam Adams so I thought I'd give Irish Red a shot.  I was curious as to how it matched up against the gold standard of Irish Red beers: Killians.  Let me kill the suspense... it made Killians look like it's jail bitch.  Jim Koch is God's messenger on Earth; and his scripture is beer my friends.  Malty, hoppy, nipple-scorching beer!  Beer Advocate rates Irish Red a B+ ... "very good."  (Killians was rated a C+).  
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These guys are Bleed The Dream and they're responsible for tonight's tune.  I kind of like these guys because they're a straight up rock band from Southern California (no Christian rock this week you Jesus freaks).  The tune is "Who's Killing Who?"  I have a guess: these dudes are killing me with their cliche'd, disaffected rock band stare.  That's my guess and I'm sticking to it.  Stay strong.
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Thursday, November 6, 2008

SMELLS LIKE AWESOME

I thank the baby Jesus I was born with talent and good looks because they facilitated my learning the devastating ninja skills I enjoy today.  I mean, a ninja army won't follow some ugly, bumbling hack.  Er.. what was I... oh yeah - talent.  The kid featured tonight is Sungha Jung and he's an 11 year old guitar prodigy who's able to make his instrument sing, which I understand completely.  I don't mean to brag but I've been known to play a pretty mean skin flute.  Yeah, it's reduced grown men - and ninjas - to tears.  So anyway, here's Sungha playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  If you like it check out more of his video's here.  He's got like 200 posted on YouTube.  Stay strong and keep strokin'.




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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

THE DAY AFTER...



Whew, am I glad all that shit is over!  If you have any agenda items for our president-elect you can let him know here.  Now, if you don't mind, I'm sportin' for another righteous cocktail...




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Monday, November 3, 2008

THE ONLY MAN WHO MAKES ANY SENSE

Well, the day is finally here.  After almost two long years we go to cast our vote on Tuesday.  Everyone should vote.  It's the only way our republic can work properly (America is a republic, NOT a democracy).  In all of this mess of what amounted to a cluster fuck to the White House there was only one guy who made any sense to me.  I don't want to be all dramatic about it but I think, like Abraham Lincoln, he was the only true Republican running for office this year.  


I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." 




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Sunday, November 2, 2008

A SUNDAY SERENADE

In addition to spending most of the day hungover sitting in a pile of my own waste I've been watching the Sunday news shows and reading a lot of the newspapers: CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, NBC, The New York Times, the AP, the Wall Street Journal, even Conde Nast Traveller (I guess they cover politics now).  Of course, the big topic among all of them is the presidential campaign.  The promises, the plans, who's going to cut taxes, who's going to raise taxes, who's tough on terror, Iran's nuclear program, pre-conditions, voter fraud, voter disenfranchisement, vice presidential picks, the national debt, withdrawal plans, Saturday Night Live, one world order, your mother, my mother, blah, blah, blah...  It took me all day but I eventually found the one piece of video that sums it ALL up perfectly:

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PS - These guys are called Sons Of Butcher.  Check out some of their other videos after this one.  They'll rock your nut sack off! (In an 80's-glam rock kinda way)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

REPOSTING HILARITY

Today is a re-post from February of a joke some guys played on their roommate.  They set up a camera and played a recording of a shotgun being fired.  I don't know what it is about watching some kid trying to avoid gunfire that tickles my funny bone but, goddam, this shit makes me giggle.  Stay strong... and safe.


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