Gas prices suck. I'm not that affected because about six months ago I invested in a syphon. It's amazing how much free gas you can get out of one trip to a full mall parking lot. Yup, the gasoline flows like wine in the WTCCTR household. But if you don't have a syphon or a friend in OPEC then here are five tips on how to get the most out of that pump every time you refill. These tips are from a squirrely employee who works for a petroleum company in California.
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1. Only buy/pump your gas in the early morning when the ground temperature is cold. Colder gasoline is more dense. When you buy when it's warmer the gas has expanded - and your gallon is not exactly a gallon.
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2. When you're filling up, do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. Pumping gas slowly minimizes the vapors that are produced. If you pump at a fast rate some of the gas vaporizes and gets sucked back into the underground storage tank.
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3. Fill up when your tank is half full/half empty. The more gas you have in your tank the less air it contains. Gasoline evaporates quickly, and will evaporate at a quicker rate the more empty your tank is.
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4. Do not fill your tank when the gasoline truck is refilling the storage tanks. The refill process stirs up sediment and dirt from the tank that is normally settled on the bottom.
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And a final suggestion... DO NOT buy gas from companies that import Middle Eastern oil. These are the countries who have parts of their populations that think Osama binDickHead is a swell guy. I don't know about you but they can kiss my red-white-and blue sphincter while I eat apple pie and hum "God Bless America." The following companies DO NOT USE ANY Middle Eastern Oil: Sunoco, Conoco, Sinclair, BP Phillips, Hess, and Arco.
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Ok Buckos! Now go out and pump some gas like you got a set!
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