Investing is tricky business. Like negotiating a price with a Vietnamese hooker on a rickshaw driven by her pimp... uh... I imagine. But I've put myself in a virtual cock fight with the greatest investor of our time: Warren Buffett. How? Well, I went portfolio-to-portfolio with the rich turd at an on-line stock tracking site - Virtual Stock Exchange - where you can invest fake money in the real market to see how it performs. I'll admit the market has been F-ed in the A lately; and 6 months isn't a lot of time, but here are the results:
Chicken portfolio --> + 12.09%
Warren's portfolio --> + 6.41%
Ka-Pow! I smoked his old sausage eating ass with a few simple stocks. And here they are:
Wal*Mart ...
savings from denying their workers health care - passed on to you!
Google ...
maintaining world-wide dominance is easy when you own most of the money ever printed.
Intel ...
making the tiny mechanical processors for the future Sky-Net.
Apple ...
unless people stop listening to music put your money with Senor Jobs pronto.
Starbucks...
the poorest performer of the bunch. I guess paying $3 for a coffee isn't that important when you're losing your home. Thanks W!
Well Buckos, no excuses now. I guess there's just one question left: "Do you feel lucky punk?"
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