There are a lot of reasons I'm going to hell. Too many to really list here. But one of those reasons is that I think retarded people are hilariously entertaining. And not in a "laughing with you" sort of way. They're in the same category as reefer addicts: pure joy wrapped in dumb looks and B.O. So when I saw this short video of a special young woman by the name of Marbles; it felt like I was running through fields of hashish and joy in a slow motion carousel, and falling into the arms of a big, warbley-eyed window licker bearing armfuls of tacos and bongs. Technically, I don't think she's retarded but autistic... hell, I don't even think she's a real person but an ingenious character actress. Whatever the case is, Marbles is the sh*t - with a capital "S". In fact, she's the newest addition to the list of people I'm going to recruit for my team of crime fighters. Her special power? Snacking.
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