VAN HALEN AND A HOT CHICK

Whoa. So surfin' the internets this week looking for something interesting has been about as successful as cruising the local bingo parlors looking for good sphincter control. Then, yesterday, we get hit with a spiffy supreme court decision that lets corporations sponsor their favorite politicians; which isn't really a change from the way things already work except, now, they can F you in the A in broad daylight. I mean, we've all had an ex-girlfriend slit our tires; but it's usually at night. It's kinda balls-ey for her to carve up your Goodyears while you're actually standing in the driveway holding a limp Eggo and your favorite Crystal Gale cd. ... You know what I'm saying. Anyway, the point is: it's time to lighten the mood a little. Let's get this weekend started right with a classic little Van Halen tune covered in Diamond Dave's crazy Jewish chest hair; and a righteous hot chick that'll have you tuggin' at the old trouser taffy faster than you can say, 'I know why *this* chicken is crossing the road...!' Stay strong.

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