Montel Williams says it all.

I think this video highlights the larger issue: how much of "what's important" do we choose; and how much is chosen for us by white millionaires sitting in penthouse offices atop the concrete canyons of Manhattan.  Thanks to Montel Williams for a brief reminder of one issue that should be on our minds every day.  "The Marines are at war.  America is at the mall."

Ten Simple Rules.

Drink this in my friends.  Drink it in and grow awesome.

A.I.=Artifical Intelligence A.I.=American Idol. Coincidence?

The new season of American Idol started last week.  So I'm not really proud of the fact that I watch the damn show, like the other 28 million people who watch.  But the genius of the show is in the layout and pacing.  Every season I tune in for first few weeks to watch the train wrecks - the people who can't sing.  The producers drag this phase out for about three weeks; from the auditions and then into "Hollywood week."  After that I'll end up watching the rest of the show out of sheer habit.  Like biting your nails is a habit.  Or like hiding from the law in Mexico to avoid going to federal prison and getting shanked in the yard or sodomized in the shower... is a habit.. like that is a habit... er... yeah.

Tonight. We Dine. In. Hell, er, ... Marshalls!

I was dragged through there a few weeks ago by my girlfriend. We actually made it to the clearance racks in the rear of the store when I realized that being in Marshalls is extremely fucking gay. It was at that point I started yelling, "Where is the goddam Albany Strength Protien Powder section Bitches?" - and took some mermaid-themed candle holder to the shopping cart next to me. I beat the piss out of that cart like a man before my girlfriend jumped on my swingin arm. At that point the crack Marshall's teenagers, er, staff, came over to see what the ruckus was all about. I hawked a massive lugar on the first guy down the aisle. The next two I smashed with a wonky discount salad bowl and toilet seat studded with crystals. The shit was getting thick at this point, so I made a break for the exit at the front of the store. My girlfriend started pulling at my pants telling me to stop and just look at all the bargains. I yelled, "Bitch, step off!" and shook myself free. I plowed through discount racks, landed a flying knee on the forehead of a fat asian woman, and had to make some middle manager pay for getting in my way by slapping his shit up with a Harley Davidson ottoman. Once in the parking lot it took me a few seconds to calm the fuck down after all that retail homo-ness I just had to blast through. The massive adrenaline dump also had made me deficate in my pants, ruining my image as a fancy gentleman.

Bill Stickers Is Innocent!

You're damn right he is!  Slanderous $#*&@@ municipalities...!