TWO DIFFERENT MOVIES. ONE BIG AWESOME.

I'm posting two movie trailers today.  Each one is very different from the other, but the amount of awesomeness in each one is exactly the same.  Huge Buckos.  Huge.

The first movie is IronMan.  Directed by Jon Faverau and starring Robert Downey Jr. it's due out in May of this year.  It looks like Faverau and Downey absolutely, 100% nailed it.  Watching it gives me a warm, gentle feeling in my groinal region, which then spreads to... well, ... pretty much only around to my assy area.  But you can bet your bottom dollar that it's a good thing.  Yupper.

Iron Man Exclusive Trailer

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This next preview is for a movie entitled "Super High Me."  Kind of a spoof of the successful documentary "Super Size Me" except with weed.  Comedian Doug Benson smokes spliffs for 30 days and then goes off it for 30 days to see the effects.  That, my friends, is genius because dudes smoked up on the ganja are hil-ar-i-ous.  Comedy gold Buckos.  I mean, Cheech and Chong were so far ahead of their time they looked... well... they looked stoned.  But they weren't.  They were comedy custodians sent from the future to shepherd us through The Cosby Show, Full House, and Carrot Top; to get us to this movie.  Drink in the awesomeness Buckos.  Drink it in.  Or should I say, smoke it up.

OH F*#K! I'M SHOT!!

Ok, so this is one of the most hilarious things I've seen in the last 18 hours.  This kid's roommate plays a prank on him by playing audio of shotgun blasts.  I don't want to say more about it and ruin the hilarity; but this reminds me of when I rigged an old manure spreader to go off when my roommate started humpin' on his dope-ified girlfriend.  ... Um... I guess it's really nothing like that, but it was crap-tastic.  Trust me.

Roommate Gun Shots Prank - Watch more free videos

MENTAL ILLNESS OF THE MONTH!

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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This month I'm giving a shout-out to good old borderline PD.  This nifty little illness is "characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation."  

Now I imagine some of you are thinking, 'Golly, I know someone like this...'  Well, before you go throwing a butterfly net over their head, recognize that BPD is really severe mood swings.  It'll seem like the person has different personalities.  One minute they will be friendly and/or calm and the next minute you'll find your pet rabbit boiling in a pot.  So remember boys and girls: borderline personality disorder - bad.  Caca.  Pooey.

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To learn more about this little gem of psychosis go to:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.shtml

In the weeds

Can anyone explain this craziness?

Finish the sentence:

"Darla Jean loved ropin' and rasslin' night at the club, but it usually ended with _______________________"

Hong Kong at night.

How awesome does this place look.  Makes me want to party with my pants off... if you know what I mean. {winkwink pointpoint}

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Click pic for larger view, for the love of the sweet mother Mary.

Presidential Betting Odds

I love politics.  It's like a soap opera with real life consequences at the end.  Entertaining and about as relaxing as being beaten with a sock full of oranges.  So what are the odds?  Well, as of February 20th...

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Obama .....6/5

McCain ....7/5

Clinton ...2/1

Huckabee ..500/1

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Hey, how 'bout that Huckabee huh?  I'm gonna put a buck on him because, well, you never know.  I mean, if I had a nickel for every "favorite" I bet on who ended up dragging ass at the quarter mile because some stable hand gave me a hot tip after a day of smoking weed and shoveling crapola I'd be... well... I'd be at least thirty cents richer... uh... yeah... thirty cents at least.

The 3 foolproof laws for getting in shape.

Ok, so I've been going to the gym and working out 5-7 days a week for the last 20 years.  I've seen a lot of things done right and a lot of idiotic efforts.  Here are 3 "laws" for getting into shape.  They are foolproof.

1.  Eat right.  It's a cliche and no one wants to hear about it any more.  But getting your body into good physical shape is about 85% good nutrition.  I'm not gonna get into the whole wacky food pyramid thing, but if you're working out more than 3 times/week your daily diet should roughly include: carbohydrates 5-7 grams/kg of bodyweight; protien 0.8 grams/kg of bodyweight daily; fat 1 gram/kg of bodyweight daily.

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Pound to kilogram conversion: 

http://www.onlineconversion.com/weight_common.htm

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2.  Know what you're doing.  Get a set routine tailored to the goals you want to achieve.  If you don't know how to do this, hire a trainer to get you started.  Many trainers start at $20/hour and can give you a routine and show you how to properly use the weights in 1-2 sessions.  It's more than worth it.

3. Most important --> be consistent.  Unless you have a death in the family or a major catastrophic event (eg., hurricane, mudslide, personal scandal breaking on the local news) NEVER skip a day that you plan to work out.  Go in especially when you don't feel like it.  

So that's it Buckos.  There's the great secret for getting in shape.  This is what all those info-mercial gurus selling you bands and balls and diet pills are trying to get around doing.  But unless the human DNA changes, these are the 3 things you're gonna need to get into shape.  If you stick to this routine faithfully, no matter what, you WILL get into shape - GUARANTEED.  Remember, the is no such thing as a "bad workout."  

Zen, Motorcycle Maintenance, and Paul Potts.

Some time ago I read the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert M. Pirsig.  In it, and in his follow-up book "Lila", Pirsig presents a new way of looking at things.  He calls these 'new rules' the Metaphysics of Quality.  A main idea of his Metaphysics is something he calls Dynamic Quality.  This says that all people know quality, or goodness, or "what's right" - no matter their age, or culture, or race, or religion.  That recognizing goodness is inherent in all of us. 

Paul Potts was a nobody who could sing opera.  When I watched this video of him singing for the first time it reminded me of Pirsig's Dynamic Quality.  Potts isn't just singing oprea but showing us goodness.  His performance transcends singing oprea and is more a display of quality for all to see.  Drink it in Buckos.

In The Weeds

The true meaning of the internet.

It would be impossible to put a price tag on what it has cost to develop the internet as we know it.  The hardware and man-hours that have been invested since Project RAND (allowing scientists to communicate) in the 1950s to the Googles' of today; all the infrastructure and cables; the satellites; the software; all the development of hardware and software -- the sum total is probably the greatist and most expensive effort in human history.  And now, my Buckos, comes the fruition of all that effort and expense.  Enjoy this milestone in human achievement.

The Holy Grail.

Caffeine.  The perfect drug.  And proof that the little baby Jesus really does love us.  Unfortunately, most people don't know how to do it properly.  It doesn't matter how  you ingest it (coffee, tea, energy drink), there are right ways and wrong ways.  Here's how to get the biggest 'bang' for your buck:

1) Consume in small, frequent amounts.  Between 20-200mg per hour may be an optimal dose for cognitive function.

2) Play to your cognitive strengths while wired.  Caffeine may increase the speed with which you work, may decrease attentional lapses, and may even benefit recall - but is less likely to benefit more complex cognitive functions, and may even hurt others. Plan accordingly (and preferably prior to consuming caffeine!)

3) Play to caffeine's strengths.  Caffeine's effects can be maximized or minimized depending on what else is in your system at the time.  The beneficial effects of caffeine may be most pronounced in conjunction with sugar. For example, one factor analytic study hasshown caffeine-glucose cocktails provide benefits to cognition not seen with either alone.

4) Know when to stop - and when to start again.  Although you may not grow strongly tolerant to caffeine, you can become dependent on it and suffer withdrawal symptoms. Balance these concerns with the cognitive and health benefits associated with caffeine consumption - and appropriately timed resumption.

5) Finding good sources of caffeine.  Despite the huge variety of sources of caffeine - including caffeinated soap, candy, and of course chocolate - the optimal use of caffeine is likely to involve small, hourly doses along with some cardioprotective agent.

That's all for now.  Heed the knowledge and grow awesome Buckos.

Well, ain't that some s#&t.

So I don't see what's so blasphemous about this.  I mean, what, Jesus doesn't like the Village People?!?  Now THAT'S blasphemous.