Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Investing is tricky business.  Like negotiating a price with a Vietnamese hooker on a rickshaw driven by her pimp... uh... I imagine.  But I've put myself in a virtual cock fight with the greatest investor of our time: Warren Buffett.  How?  Well, I went portfolio-to-portfolio with the rich turd at an on-line stock tracking site - Virtual Stock Exchange - where you can invest fake money in the real market to see how it performs.  I'll admit the market has been F-ed in the A lately; and 6 months isn't a lot of time, but here are the results:

Chicken portfolio --> + 12.09% 
Warren's portfolio --> +  6.41%

Ka-Pow!  I smoked his old sausage eating ass with a few simple stocks.  And here they are:

Wal*Mart ... 
savings from denying their workers health care - passed on to you!

Google ...
maintaining world-wide dominance is easy when you own most of the money ever printed.

Intel ...
making the tiny mechanical processors for the future Sky-Net.

Apple ...
unless people stop listening to music put your money with Senor Jobs pronto.

the poorest performer of the bunch.  I guess paying $3 for a coffee isn't that important when you're losing your home.  Thanks W!

Well Buckos, no excuses now.  I guess there's just one question left: "Do you feel lucky punk?"  

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