Monday, May 12, 2008


I almost didn't go to my senior prom.  I know... I almost can't believe it either.  My musty sexuality and cheetah-tastic animal magnetism really didn't kick in until I was solidly in my late 20's... about the same time my balls dropped.  Still, I managed to scrape up a date and go.  I don't remember the details except that, despite my date being wrapped up like a mummy and completely un-interested in me sexually; I was so incredibly smoked up in my pants that just holding her hand almost caused me to jizz up my cumber bun.  So if she had worn a slutty dress I think my crotch would have actually exploded off my body from the sheer freocity of my inadvertent pelvic thrusting.  My point being - isn't this overkill?  I mean, having hooker-ish prom dresses is like throwing gasoline on a fire at a gunpowder factory.  To all the prom-aged girls out there... come closer... I have a secret for you:  IT'S PROM NIGHT!  YOU'RE GONNA GET ATTENTION AND SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR!  Kee-ripes.  

Anyway, some chick in Texas wore a mega-slutty dress and was kicked out of her prom.  CNN did this hard hitting story about it:

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