THE E*TRADE KID IS AWESOME.

I love this kid.  

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PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY MOTHERF*CKER!

Jesus jelly-loving Christ.

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OH THE HORROR.

There's a scene in the movie Apocalypse Now where Marlon Brando's character, on his death bed, reflects back on all the atrocities he's seen in Viet Nam; and whispers "Oh the horror.  The horror..."  I now know what he meant.  Stay strong... and leotard free. 

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BRUNO VS. NEO-NAZIS

Bruno has a new movie coming out soon.  I like this dude.  He has balls the size of church bells and, myself having the proverbial monster nads; I can appreciate that.  So tonight I'm featuring two clips.  The first is a classic where he goes to a gun show and antagonizes some armed rednecks - in Arkansas.  The second is from his new movie where he aggrivates some neo-nazis.  Reminds me of the time I slathered honey all over my ass and did a crab-walk over a hive of fire-ants.  Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.  Stay strong. 

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WATCHOUT! IT'S BLACK DYNAMITE!

Man, political correctness has ruined a lot of stuff.  Like those "blaxploitation" movies from the 1960's and 1970's.  They were great.  So, now that an African-American is running the country, maybe we can get back to that type of humor since everyone realizes that it's just damn funny, and isn't really keeping any brothas down.

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The makers of the new movie "Black Dynamite" are waaaay ahead of the curve on this one.  There's no release date for this little gem yet but I smell Oscar buzz - and I haven't inhaled this deeply since running behind the Snoop Dog tour bus.  Stay strong Suckas!

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I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF.

Well, George W. Bush left Washington today, no longer our President. There's a lot of controversy about his time as our Commander-In-Chief and how history will judge him. With a 22% approval rating upon leaving office - the lowest approval rating since ratings have been compiled - it kind of looks like history's first draft is painting him as kind of a douche bag. Personally, not a lot of the stuff that made the news bothered me all that much. Abu Ghraib, water boarding, Iraq, illegal wire taps, the economic downturn, Katrina... none of it really got me too upset. But I'm still happy to see him go. And it's mainly for one reason: the sonofabitch couldn't talk. I think the rest of the world looks at our leader as a representation of us as Americans. So when the guy we elect goes up there on the world stage and is a stammering idiot it kind of bothers me. I almost don't care about the guy's policies as long as he makes America look good and sounds like he knows what the fuck he's talking about. Anyway, godspeed Georgie. Enjoy your backyard barbeque's, golf outings, fancy dinners, and your new home (ironically free of any brush needing to be cleared). Here's hoping I never have to listen to you torture the English language again. Stay strong.

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Uhh... hi.  I've been temporarily thawed from my cryostasis that is the Northeastern winter to bring you BB&T.  It's been awhile.  Strap on... or in... you know what I mean.

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The babe tonight is Jamie Eason.  She's the recommendation of a friend who says I need more blondes on this site.  So here she is. Jamie is from Houston, Texas and is a fitness model and ex-dancer.  Plus, she works out like a motherf*cker.  I haven't seen an arm like that since my first match at the Arm Wrasslin' and Watermelon Seed Spittin' contest at Billy Bob's House of Your Mother. Her vagina must feel like a bear trap.  But I'm a courageous man of principal; and I'll test the waters if I need to.  I know.  I know... you're welcome.  More pics of her here.

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The beer tonight isn't a beer at all, but hot mulled cider with cinnamon and spiced rum.  It's currently -9 degrees here in New York so I'm skipping the beer tonight and going with something warm.  I love beer like Whitney Houston loved Bobby Brown's crazy cracked-out ass but I can't do it tonight.  I've been making this for about Apthe last ten winters and it's goddam delicious, so deal with it.  Besides, if it hit's -10 degrees I'm planning to actually set myself on fire.  Beer takes a back seat when self-immolation is involved.

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The band tonight is Ra - and they fucking rock.  They're from Connecticut and haven't put out a bad song ever.  They have a catalogue of about 50 songs and every single one of them is good.  They could write a song about strap-ons and dead kittens and it would still be good.  I'm telling you.  They're better than a George Foreman Grill.  The song I'm featuring is "Only."  Plus, it's live.  What does that mean for you, the WTCCTR consumer?  More tasty tunage for to suck on.  You're right, I am pretty cool.  Stay strong.

"Only"

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PRANK CALLERS ARE AWESOME.

We've all seen and/or heard those prank phone calls on talk shows.  They usually get hung up on pretty quickly.  Wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't hang up on them?  Ummm... yeah, it would.  I have proof.

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2009 - HARDER BETTER FASTER STRONGER

Well, here at WTCCTR 2008 was ushered out with a nifty little musical interlude so I thought we'd welcome 2009 in that same manner.  All this interest in music probably has something to do with the 47 ecstasy tablets I took on or around December 30th... I'm not sure of the exact date.   Anyway, here's a ball pumping tune by Daft Punk.  I suggest you watch it in HD (a new option with some YouTube videos).  May your new year be harder, better, faster, and stronger than the last.  Oh, and my New Year's Resolution?  Stop storing my ecstasy in the ibuprofen bottle.  Stay strong.

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