I'M GLAD WE HAVE TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT

Once in a while I'll see a news story that highlights why things are so f-ed in the "a" in America, and the world in general. This week, I found two articles like that. The first one is here. It's about Goldman Sach's. One of those pinky in the air Wall Street banks that got TEN BILLION DOLLARS in bailout money... YOUR money. Yeah, well, the interest rate for that cash has been dropped to 1%. I don't know about you, but none of my loans have a 1% interest rate. Oh, yeah, did I mention that Goldman Sachs paid out $10.9 billion in employee compensation and benefits last year. Funny how they couldn't pay off more of that loan huh?

The second article, link here, goes into detail about how the United States is handing out millions of dollars - again, YOUR money - to farmers in Afghanistan not to grow poppies for heroin. Yup. Unfuckingbelievalbe. I know. If the government was half as creative in trying to balance the budget as they are in figuring out ways to completely piss away taxpayer money I'm sure there wouldn't be any goddam government debt. ... Criminey.

In other news, the plumber who unclogged my sewer pipe took a few extra minutes to explain the difference between regular solid waste and "shit paper." Thanks Mr. Rooter! ... See, a happy ending! Was that so hard?

HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!

With Thanksgiving just around the corner I thought it'd be a good time to post some hockey footage because, you know, they go together like... ummm... parachutes and toilet brushes. Anyway, this goalie in the video is kicking ass in warm-ups, when one of his teammates has enough of his awesomeness; and reminds him that he's just the goalie. I mean, the defensive guys on any team always take the backseat to the offensive guys. It's like that in life too kiddies. So as soon as my pinky toe hits the floor in the morning I'm hitting slap shots, throwing touchdowns and swinging for the fences... and that's before I even leave the bathroom. Stay strong.

PROGRAMMING NOTE AND BOSTON VS. HOUSE OF PAIN

A minor programming note tonight, and then we'll test out the toys. Ok, so the programming note is that WTCCTR will now be broadcast to you in crisp, clear, THX sound-quality. Yup. So now all those awesome fart videos and shotgun pranks will be even more ass-blasting. Then, to celebrate the introduction of THX to the site, I'm posting a mash-up tune of Boston and House of Pain. You're on your own after that. Stay strong.

And now....

Boston vs. House of Pain

PISSING AWAY MONEY

Health care. It's a big debate lately. I can't speak for anyone but I think a lot of the anxiety comes in with the cost. Spending money we don't have. To illustrate the point: I don't think there would be much of an issue if we could wave a magic wand and have a Medicare type plan that covered 100% of the US population for free - $0.oo. BUT, The current Senate plan will cost $848 BILLION over 10 years (or $84 BILLION each year). That's a lot of ice packs and gauze pads. At least, I thought that was a lot until I read **this** article on CNN.com the other day. It basically says that last year alone there was $98 BILLION in improper or fraudulent payments made by the US government for health care costs. Ok, so, I'm not a mathologist but wouldn't cutting out the waste, fraud, and abuse in the current system basically pay for every one's health care? We wouldn't even have to cut out all the fraud, just about 85% of it would cover the bill. Wouldn't it be worthwhile/cost-effective to have about 1% of the bailout money go to hiring people who police this type of thing? How about moving some IRS agents to Medicare fraud enforcement? Those bastards will destroy your grandmother for a $20 capital gains tax. For those of you still hanging in there, here's a hot nurse. Stay healthy.

FIVE *MORE* RANDOM PHOTOS

Here are some random photos I found while surfing this wonderful place called the world wide web. Oh, plus I'm playing around with a new font tonight, because I'm a borderline maniac; and that's how I roll on a Saturday night. In fact, right after I'm done with this I'm gonna try and kick myself in the nuts.

The Church of the Immaculate Dirty Harry

Prom photo. Someone is going to regret something in the morning.

Enlarge to enjoy the sarcasm in it's entirety.

Goddam Bill. Ever consider decaf?

Best. Advice. Ever.

DESTROYING THE DRUMS

Hey. Ever see anyone absolutely destroy the drums? If you haven't, you're going to now. Tonight I'm posting a video of Travis Barker setting down the drum track to a tune called "Forever" by a dude called Drake. ... I know, but it's a cool video. The catch is that the song was made about 1000% cooler when it was mashed up with Eminem. Despite the mix-up fanciness, it's still Mr. Barker attacking the drums on the track, and it's awesome. The last time I went at something like that it was all you can eat Swiss Colony Beef Log at Pepperidge Farm.

VETERANS DAY.

So I haven't been around in a while. It's been a crazy few weeks involving international intrigue, malicious espionage, nefarious subterfuge, pancakes made with breast milk, and a wicked case of the chafies. So, anyway, I thought I'd ease back into this with a tribute to all our veterans. Thank you. Without you, retards with a wise mouth like myself, would be one of the first slated for castration in the public square. And that would really f-up my sublime singing voice. **Ahem... Doe - a deer - a female deer...**