GOOD TIPS.

Howdy Ho Buckos.  Nothing good to report today except two good tips:

1.  If you're going to have surgery, have it done in a hospital.

2.  Never make your first meal of the day spicy sausage with blueberry donuts.

Eat smart ya fantastic bastards!

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THE ZEN INVESTING OF WARREN BUFFETT & 1 STOCK TO BUY.

For anyone who read yesterday's post you've learned a valuable lesson about blogging while intoxicated: don't drink a six pack and attempt to summarize international investment strategy.  I don't know what had me more hung over... drinking all night or trying to understand Warren "The Buffer" Buffett.  Fucked my shit up.  So tonight I'll try to boil Mr. Buffett down to his basics, make it coherent,  and offer 1 solid stock that he LOVES - for good reason.

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So, his basic approach to investment is as follows:

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1.  Buy what you understand.  If you don't know what the product is or how the business is run, don't get it.

2. Buy stock in companies that have simple products that you know what it will look like in 10, 20, .. 80 years.  Wrigley's chewing gum is going to look and function the same in 2108 as it does in 2008.

3.  The best way to pick a stock is to sit in a room and think.  If you don't have a good idea of what to do after thinking privately about it, advice from others isn't going to help.

4.  Buy one GOOD stock per year and ride it to it's potential (ie., hold it for the long term).  Brokers get paid per trade (ie., activity).  You make more money for in-activity (ie., holding stocks for long periods of time).

And Buffett's favorite stock pick?  Coca Cola.  It meets all the above criteria and - most importantly - Coke has no fucking taste memory!  What does that mean?  It means you never get sick of drinking it.  So if you have 5 Coke's today you'll probably have 5 tomorrow and 5 the day after that.  That's fucking ingenious!  Multiply that by the people in China who drink the shit like it's Jesus Juice and you've got a winning business strategy.  I'm throwing some Coke into my portfolio tomorrow.  So, until then, have a Coke and a smile Buckos!

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THE ZEN INVESTING OF WARREN BUFFETT

Warren Buffett is unquestionable the greatest investor of our time.  Shares of his holding company sell for approximately $150000/share and are by far the highest priced shares (ie., most valuable) shares on the stock exchange.  Dude is an interestng mix of conserative investing philosophy and extreme intelligence.  Usually smart guys get cocky and tend to bet the farm.  But not good old Warren.  Anyway, he recently gave a talk to a bunch of MBA's and here are the highlights:

• The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they're too heavy to be broken.
• You [ordinary people] do the same things as I do, but I travel a little differently.
• Do what you love NOW... otherwise it's like saving sex for old age.
• Take a job as if you're independently wealthy.
• The best company to invest in = a pretty castle with a wide moat  and honest, able kings (i.e, a sound company with substantial advantage over competitors and honest CEO's)
• When looking at a company to ivest in, find simple products that you know, and how they will be 10 years from now.  For example, chewing gun companies will be doing the same thing in the same way 10, 20, 100 years from now.
• Value "share of mind" - a product brand name that illicits an emotional trigger/response.  Example, guys will buy Hershey's chocolate on Valentines Day instead of the generic, cheaper brand because the mark-up in price is not a barrier to purcharse.
  

This stuff is a little hard to follow if you've already got a 6 pack of brewskis on board.  It's probably better for all if I just studied these nifty little ideas when I'm a little more sober.  I'll finish up the summaries tomorrow.  Dang this crapola is complicated.

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Peace and chicken grease until tomorrow .

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

It's that time again Buckos.  Thank f*ing God.

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Tonight's babe is Spencer Scott.  She's a model and Playboy's Playmate of the month for 2007.  And she's the youngest playmate to date with a birthday of - ready for this? - April 4, 1989.  Uhhh... sheesh.  It was a good year though.  Not only is it Spencer's birthday, but it was the year I got my first job out of high school.  Oh yeah, the janitorial sciences in upstate New York didn't know what hit it that year.  If you want to see the rest of Spencer check her out here.

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Summer is right around the corner and if you're looking for an alternative to Corona I'd go with Sam Adams Light.  This is one of my favorite beers period... forget that it's a light beer.  It's crisp and clean and has a ton of flavor.  I put this in my "want" column.  Want!  Beer Advocate rates it as B- ... "worthy."  Worthy of deliciousness you Beer Advocate sons a bitches.

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While this is very similar to my first communion photo, it's not.  It's the band for tonight's "tune" portion of our program - Papa Roach.  The name of the tune is "Time Is Running Out."  Warning: this song rocks extremely hard.  Last time I listened to the whole thing it actually made me incontinent.  Just so you know.  Have some tissues or a toilet nearby.  

"Time Is Running Out"

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NEVER GIVE IN.

Some people are bad asses.  When you look back at history you'll find a lot of people who would gladly rip out your beating heart and show it to you: General Patton, Sun Tzu, Genghis Khan, Harry Truman, William Wallace; Mrs. Jetson, my 1st grade teacher (she wouldn't let you take a piss until you got the correct answer... what kind of sadistic bitch won't let little kids use the crapper?!?).  And part of being a bad ass means fighting to the death, which is why Winston Churchill makes my list.  He had one of the best lines ever when he gave a speech at the Harrow School in 1941:

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Yeah, that's a guy who would spit on your corpse as you lay dying in a ditch.  Anyway, here's a short video of some others who got dealt a crappy hand by fate - and then turned around and told fate to suck the big one.  Funny thing, they're all pretty bad assed.  

Stay strong Buckos!

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TOP 5 HOT BO PEEPS.

Look, someones gotta herd these fuckers.  Why not a hot chick?  And just to make it that much hotter, I've always pictured Bo Peep as a dong-toting lesbian.  But the feminine kind... not the Home Depot lesbian.  I once got in a scrap with one of them over the last countersink cutter at a Johnny Screws Guns and Hardware sale.  That plaid-wearing broad damn near gave me a second bung hole before all was said and done.  Anyway, let's peep us some sheep!

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F*ing lucky assed sheep.

Thigh-high stockings have many uses when herding sheep.  Really!

Now this is my kind of Bo Peep.  I've been a baaaad little sheepy.

Sheer me Bitch!

Shit-dang!

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VIDEO OF A DUDE SCARING COMPLETE STRANGERS.

People are annoying.  So anytime I get to see someone annoying people back - I'm in... I'm allll in baby.  This video shows some Guy Forks looking dude approaching random people on the street and scaring their rectums off with a weird chihuahua noise.  Or maybe it's just a video of a guy with Tourette Syndrome who's walking to work.  Either way, I like this guy's style.  To me it says, 'I have stupid facial hair, I'm not getting laid, and I have a video camera.'  How many times have we all been there?  C'mon...

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