Showing posts with label stimulus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stimulus. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

QUITE POSSIBLY THE GREATEST THING EVER SAID.

Yeah, that's right.  This guy to the left.  Sure, he was in the Blade movies with Wesley Snipes, which moved his cool factor from a -7 to about a 1 - which still puts him solidly pansy in my book.  But there's a new article in Rolling Stone this month about good old Kris, and a run-in he had with Toby Keith.  


Kris Kristofferson was backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday party several years ago.  While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight."
At that moment in time, Keith had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age.

Kristofferson said "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith; Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.  Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man?  Huh?  Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it?  No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."

Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't 'what' me, boy!  You heard the question.  You just don't like the answer.  I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?'  The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"  And then, right there in front of Ray Charles, Norah Jones, and Willie Nelson, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"

Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh.  At the end he said, "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'"

Take a moment to drink in the absolute sublime perfection of that last line.  Who knew Waylon Jennings was such a goddam brilliant orator.

Technorati Tags: willie nelson, waylon jennings, toby keith, rolling stone, kris kristoferson, iraq, iran, withdraw, stimulus, boob rockets

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP BITCHES.

Howdy ho people.  It's been awhile since I last posted.  But that doesn't mean I'm not out there scanning the internets for you maniacs.  It's just that I haven't found anything worth posting lately.  I almost posted a bit about how AIG is like the Titanic (i.e., "too big to fail") but then I thought, 'Cripes, I'm turning into David Brinkley for the love of sweet little Jesus' baby nuts.'  So, when I came across this old AC/DC video, the little man in my loins went all David Carruso on my ass.  By the way, the guitar riff at the beginning of this song is so fucking great it made my nipples smoke.  True story.  Anyway, the video is about 5 minutes long so you'll have to watch the whole thing be absorb the full awesomeness of it.  Stay strong.





Technorati Tags: ac/dc, it's a long way, humor, finance, tits, obama, stimulus, aig, rihanna, chris brown, jesus christ, angioplasty, domestic violence rocks

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

MR BERGIS DOESN'T WANT TO INTEGRATE NASCAR

I don't watch NASCAR.  But I do love prank phone calls... and anytime someone hops on the phone for and starts jerkin' someone's chain - I'm in.  This prank call has been around for years, but's it's still goddam precious.  ... Yeah, that's right... I'm saying it.  It's fantastical too.  And sublime.  I'm just trying to relate to all the NASCAR fans out there... sheesh.







Technorati Tags: nascar, snoop dog, queen latifah, lesbian love scene, mccain, stimulus, rush limbaugh, steele, butter the love muffin

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

THE OCULAR PENETRATION ACT OF 2007.

I'm coming out of hiding to raise awareness for an issue which is sure to become worse in this tough economy.  It's something I've tried to turn a blind eye to (no pun intended) but when I walk out my door and see retirees and indigents being victimized, I gotta speak out.  So watch this short video of the proposed legislation aimed at stopping this brewing epidemic.  Then call your Congressman.  Get involved.  Stop ocular penetration goddammit.  Stay strong.

 


Technorati Tags: ocular penetration, skull fuck, babe, beer, tune, bailout, gm, stimulus, obama, crabcake fistula

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