MR BERGIS DOESN'T WANT TO INTEGRATE NASCAR

I don't watch NASCAR.  But I do love prank phone calls... and anytime someone hops on the phone for and starts jerkin' someone's chain - I'm in.  This prank call has been around for years, but's it's still goddam precious.  ... Yeah, that's right... I'm saying it.  It's fantastical too.  And sublime.  I'm just trying to relate to all the NASCAR fans out there... sheesh.

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I GUESS I HAVE A TINY SACK

I'd often pause at random moments throughout the day and admire the fact that I had balls the size of church bells.  I mean, I'd run with scissors, drink milk right out of the carton, eat a bunch of barbecue ribs and go swimming right afterwards, give cops the finger... cripes, one time got so crazy I ate my dessert before dinner.  Did I risk ruining my appetite?  Yup.  And I did it anyway.  That's what you call bad ass Buckos.  Then I saw the video I'm featuring tonight.  It's a dude by the name of Dan Osman.  I guess he climbs cliffs without ropes or any other safety harness.  Just some chalk, fairy looking shoes, and a sweet mini-mullet.  So, I'll admit my nads aren't quite as big as good old Dan's.  But let me leave you with this: I didn't even rake my yard this year.  I let those f*cking leaves just sit there all fall.  I'm looking at you Dan Osman.

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THE DAY AFTER...

Whew, am I glad all that shit is over!  If you have any agenda items for our president-elect you can let him know here.  Now, if you don't mind, I'm sportin' for another righteous cocktail...

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A SUNDAY SERENADE

In addition to spending most of the day hungover sitting in a pile of my own waste I've been watching the Sunday news shows and reading a lot of the newspapers: CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, NBC, The New York Times, the AP, the Wall Street Journal, even Conde Nast Traveller (I guess they cover politics now).  Of course, the big topic among all of them is the presidential campaign.  The promises, the plans, who's going to cut taxes, who's going to raise taxes, who's tough on terror, Iran's nuclear program, pre-conditions, voter fraud, voter disenfranchisement, vice presidential picks, the national debt, withdrawal plans, Saturday Night Live, one world order, your mother, my mother, blah, blah, blah...  It took me all day but I eventually found the one piece of video that sums it ALL up perfectly:

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PS - These guys are called Sons Of Butcher.  Check out some of their other videos after this one.  They'll rock your nut sack off! (In an 80's-glam rock kinda way)

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