FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Hey Hey... first babe, beer, and a tune in a few weeks.  And I'm back with a bang baby.  

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KAPOW!  The babe is Erin Ellington.  She's basically a fitness model.  Oh she's fit.  She's fit.  Very.. uh.. fit.  Shit has me mumbling to myself.  More pics of her here.

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I'm not a great golfer but I am a great beer drinker.  And coolers fit perfectly on the back of those gay-ish golf carts.  So last week I was following one of those little white balls around and drinking on some icy cold Heineken lights.  Two words: delicious.  Well, that's only one word but they were really tasty.  Unfortunately, beer advocate rates Heiny lights as D+ ... "avoid."  Huh.

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Tune tonight is "So Sorry To Say" by Celldweller.  Even though these guys look like they're from Venus, they're really a Detroit band.  And this song isn't "sorry" at all.  It's actually pretty awesome.

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"So Sorry To Say"

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Work the weekend Buckos!  And stay strong... strong like bull you crazy bastards.

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THERE ARE NO UGLY WOMEN, ONLY POOR ONES.

This site is a compilation of some of the Extreme Makeover contestants, where they take an absolute ass-faced female and turn her into a beautiful swallow... or swan... or basically make her not look like a frying pan.  I gotta be honest... it really messed my shit up to see this.  I mean, I'm old school - ugly is ugly in my book.  I didn't think God allowed do-overs when it came to ugly.  Guess I was wrong.  

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It makes my heart glad to think that in 50-100 years plastic surgery will be so advanced that there won't be any more ugliness.  That is, I'm glad for other people.  I'm on the other side of the spectrum and sometimes wish I could ugly down a little bit.  Having chicks always pawing at your pants is cool for 5 or 6 years but at some point you just have to do your banking and buy groceries without someone wanting to suck on your nuts for cripes sakes.

Technorati Tags: hot chicks, extreme makeover, elephant man, babes, cleaning products

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I'M BACK... SORT OF. PLUS, A HOT BABE.

Howdy ho Buckos!  I know.  I know.  I haven't been around in awhile.  There are a few reasons for this; not the least of which is the fact that my devastating charm and scintillating wit often lead me on adventures where I fight for justice and bang sultry bitches (not necessarily in that order). 

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Anyway, I'll be posting again but not daily as I had been doing.  Probably two or three times per week... or as my rugged good looks allow.

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So I thank all you crazy bastards who are still checking in.  As a special titillating reward here's a picture of a hot chick.  Her name is Cora Skinner.  Her claim to fame, if you can call it that, is that she's the girlfriend of Brody Jenner.  Who's that?  I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty confident he's a dick.  

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WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW???

Ant eaters wearing sweaters... WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?

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TOP 5 SEXY PRINCESS LEIAS.

I'm a nerdy little prick.  I'm not quite smart enough to be a "geek" so that puts me solidly in the "nerd" category.  And like a good nerd I'm a huge Star Wars fan.  I even remember going to see the original in the movie theater - in 1977 - 16 times.  Oh yeah.  That's how you get in the nerd club Buckos.  By the time The Empire Strikes Back rolled around I was balls deep in puberty; so seeing Carrie Fisher in the metal bikini made me aware of the stubby little hotness in my pants.  Soon after I became a virtuoso on the old skin flute and have practiced every day since.  I guess you could say I'm a Jedi master with my horn.

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In tribute to my wang's coming out party here are the top 5 sexy Princess Leias.  

Let me show you my Ewok.

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Mmmmm... space beers.

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Hey, this is the first chick.  I think this is her everyday clothes.

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She's shiny from Lando's spooge.

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If I ran into her in high school my entire crotchal region would have exploded off my body.

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All for now my beautiful bitches.  May the force be with you ... and your dorks.

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5 RANDOM DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS.

Tuesday: the second most depressing day of the week.  In the spirit of Tuesday's life sucking properties,  I posted some public service announcements that are amusing yet de-motivating.  

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Shit bricks?  I got news for you, my middle name is "shit bricks."

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SELLING YOUR BODY FOR MONEY... RIGHT ON!

Salutations my beautiful bitches.  I'm back after a weekend hiatus to enjoy the weather, beers, some weed, lobster, more weed, 4 showers, and trying to remember where I parked my car.  

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With gas and food prices shooting through the roof we need to find places to make a little extra cash.  I, personally, like to sell my hair and urine.  Only in America can you squirt some piss and get your head shaved - and get paid for it.  Stuff you can also sell: skin, breast milk (I don't have any of that myself but can get some), blood, your womb, and tears.  So strip down and pony up here.  Oh baby.

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