AIRLINE FUN

Flying in a post-9/11 world has become serious business. It's a little scary without having to worry about the guy next to you throwing matches at his shoes. But sometimes you have to try and break some of that tension, and what better way than with some humor. So today's post is for all you frequent fliers. After you get seated and comfortable, after you get your instructions on how to use your seat as a flotation device, after you're airborne and have your little pack of peanuts - give a wink and a smile to the person on your left and on your right, open up your laptop, and click the link below. Oh, and be sure the volume is turned up. By the time the pilot sets that plane down you'll all be belly laughing and back slapping because of your clever little joke... if the plane isn't put into an emergency landing at a diversion airport and you're not immediately taken into custody by the FBI, that is. That would kinda put a damper on all the yuk-yuks. Stay strong.

Airline Laptop Screen

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YOU HAD ME AT 'CAPTAIN'S LOG'

Ok, so I stumbled across this video of a guy talking about some personal issues.  It's about six minutes long.  Now, I know some of you won't hang around for the full time but let me say this: if you can hang in there until the 1 minute 15 second mark you'll be hooked for the entire video.  For the first minute I was like blah, blah, blah, blah.  Then, around 1m 15s the bomb dropped and, like any terrorist worth his turban, his secondary explosion hits at 4m 10s.  Oh, and you know the best part about this video?  ... Hmmm? ... Give up? ... It's all the severed human heads sitting on the mantle behind the camera; and the off-camera decayed corpse of his mother dressed in Victoria's Secret and splayed out across his bed.  All I can say is, You had me at 'Captain's Log,' you Scamp!  Stay strong ... and sucka free.

BEST PROTEST SIGN EVER

The real question is: who the f*ck protests to bring back Crystal Pepsi?!?!

Technorati Tags: pepsi, coke, soda, money, cash, 100 days, obama, specter

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TAKE THAT HIPPIES

I'm not a big fan of hippies.  And I'm especially not a big fan of those hippies who give out the free hugs.  Self-righteous bastards.  I mean, if I wanted dirty, matted dreadlocks pressed into my face; or feel like patchouli was being rammed up my nasal cavity - I'd stage dive at a Grateful Dead concert.  So, when I saw this video of a guy standing next to a "free hugs" hippy charging $2 for "deluxe hugs" I felt vindicated.  Someone was finally standing up to a goddam hippy.  I don't know what was better: the $2 guy pissing off the hippy, or what he had written on his t-shirt.  It's your call.  Stay sucker free.

Technorati Tags: free hugs, hippies, hippy, grateful dead, jerry garcia, humor, cash, payola, money, hemoroid mania, turbo penis pumps

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

God works in mysterious ways.  Like, how He'll cure paralysis when you're facing 15 to life in a cage with a dude who wants to play 'hide the monkey' with your big chocolaty butt.  Can I get an amen?

Technorati Tags: miracle, prison, humor, cash, torture, water boarding, money, armpit fascism

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JONES GOOD ASS BBQ AND FOOT MASSAGE... GET YOU SOME!

Now why the f*ck didn't I think of this?  That Sham-Wow guy better watch his back.  Jones is coming after his punk ass with barbecue... and feet.  Someone pinch me.

Technorati Tags: bbq, foot massage, goatse, penis rock, hemmoroids, funny, humor, cash

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OWNED!

As a righteous motherf*cker, international man of mystery, and occasional guest air-bassist for the band Manny and the Piss Slits; I've never experienced the raw, bare-assed awfulness of getting owned.  I actually think I have a rare genetic make-up that prevents it from occurring to me.  Kind of like trying to put the north poles on two different magnets together.  It just doesn't work.  So when I see videos like the one below I wonder how these poor sonsabitches have even a shred of dignity left.  Seriously.  They must have some kind of life coach or prescription medications that makes the rest of their days ok or something.  I can't figure it out.  

Technorati Tags: humor, cash, finance, babe, beer, tune, tits, obama, facebook, at&t, iPhone, owned, ass monkey

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CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE

Ok, so you fuckers are gonna have to bear with me.  I scorched the shit out of my taint in a testicle enhancement procedure gone wrong.  I'll be back on Tuesday, December 9th.  Until then.... be potent and stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, money, cash, flip side, stand by, shut your face, testicle enhancement, crotch creams

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SAVE $1000 IN 30 DAYS

As a follow up to yesterday's post, tonight's entry is some practical tips to help you save money.  Let's face it, when the dollar is worth 1/10 of what it's worth now - and a loaf of bread costs as much as a day's pay - we're all going to become some frugal sonsabitches.  I mean, I've already cut back my Brazilian bikini waxes to twice a month.  Pretty soon I'll have to give them up all together; and that's when the old pubes choke my groinal region like a gnarly patch of bramble.  And no one is really in favor of that.

SAVE $1000 IN 30 DAYS

PS - full list is just a short scroll down after the link.

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JUST LET IT FAIL

Here's another interview with Peter Schiff.  He's the guy who predicted this whole housing bubble and financial collapse about two years ago; when other financial analysts were literally laughing at him.  In this vid he's basically summing up how we ended up in this fiscal nightmare and the path out.  It's about a six minute clip and I encourage you to watch the whole thing... so when you're sleeping in an old refrigerator box you'll understand why.  OH, and I'll be the guy next to you wearing 4 layers of coats, asking you if you're going to eat that.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, cash, money, piss, peter schiff, financial, collapse, dollar, gold, retirement, depression, euro, silver, bono is a fag

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WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???

Once upon a time, Steve Martin was the most hilarious motherfuc*er you'd ever heard.  Here he is before he became incredibly pussified in movies like "Parenthood" and "The Pink Panther."  

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, cash, steve martin, bill murray, saturday night life, snl, what the hell is that, doobage

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COVER TUNES!

Ok.  Here's the deal.  The 80's had some of the best music in the history of your mother.  And the new millennium has some of the best bands ever.  Yeah, that's right.  Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, U2, Jimmi Hendrix... they can all suck my donut holder.  All you Zeppelin fans just stop your convulsing and accept the fact that they suck.  They do.  I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's true.  Stairway to Heaven is for fags.  The sooner you accept it the better off you'll be.  Moving on.  

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You get yourself some modern bands to cover 80's tunes and you've gonna have some righteous tunage on your hands.  I made a play list of the more awesome cover tunes and posted it on iTunes.  But there's only one catch: iTunes didn't have all the songs.  I had to post the titles of the missing cover tunes in the "imix notes" section of the play list.  Ok.  Ready?  Get your stonewashed jeans and strap in... or strap on... depending on how the 80's were for you.  The WTCCTR cover tunes play list:

Don't forget to check out the "lost" covers.  You'll be able to listen to them here.

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BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS, BAILOUTS

The news today was dominated by the prospective bailout of the auto industry.  While Paulson and Bernanke didn't seem to set the bar too high to hand out $300 billion to a bunch of bankers (86% of which was spent on bonuses), the car guys need to submit a "plan" for the cash.  I don't think anyone should be getting bailed out but if you're going to give billions to a bunch of white collar pricks who only use their hands to jerk you off; then why are the blue collar guys who actually make something with their hands getting a hard time?  Once again, my buddy Bob sums it up perfectly.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, cash, laughs, finance, bailouts, auto, industry, ford, gm, chrysler, bob, drinking with bob, bankers, pricks, fucked in the ass

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MR. SATURDAY NIGHT

And this is why they call me Mr. Saturday Night.  If you've never awoke to this scene... well... then... you're just not living!  Stay strong.

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PROGRAMMING NOTE

Back when I used to hire people I'd have to sort through a lot of resumes.  It seemed pretty difficult to find someone with just the right combination of personality, experience, and education to fit a particular position.  But then I'd run across a particular resume and just know that this was the person for the job.  That happened today.  When I saw Ricky Santangelo's credentials I knew it was time for WTCCTR to take on an employee.  So I shot him an email asking him to film weekly public service announcements for this site.  Let's keep our fingers crossed as I'm sure he's currently fielding a million offers.  C'mon Ricky Santangelo!  WTCCTR needs you, you sultry Bitch!

(click image to see the insanity up close)

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, money, cash, babe, beer, tune, resume, programming, experience, talent, personality, ricky santangelo, white fucking snake

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SUNDAY NIGHT BILLIONS.

Ever wonder what $5 BILLION looks like?  Well, lets all take this opportunity to kick back and fantasize about the unbelievable erections that being locked in this room would cause.  

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Ok maniacs, it's Friday.  In the spirit of our new President I'm opting for change.  So, starting tonight, Friday's posts are going to be "Dudes, Doilies, and Skin Flutes."  Whaddya think?  ... ahhh... just funnin' ya.

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Babe o' the night is Vanessa Raia and she's by far the coolest babe I've featured on the Friday post.  Why?  Check this out: cop in the air force - check, stunt rides and races motorcycles - check, Playboy bunny blackjack dealer - check, bartender - check, model - check.  The only way this broad could be any more perfect is if she had a beer tap shooting out of the middle of her back.  More pics of her here.

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I'd never had this flavor of Sam Adams so I thought I'd give Irish Red a shot.  I was curious as to how it matched up against the gold standard of Irish Red beers: Killians.  Let me kill the suspense... it made Killians look like it's jail bitch.  Jim Koch is God's messenger on Earth; and his scripture is beer my friends.  Malty, hoppy, nipple-scorching beer!  Beer Advocate rates Irish Red a B+ ... "very good."  (Killians was rated a C+).  

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These guys are Bleed The Dream and they're responsible for tonight's tune.  I kind of like these guys because they're a straight up rock band from Southern California (no Christian rock this week you Jesus freaks).  The tune is "Who's Killing Who?"  I have a guess: these dudes are killing me with their cliche'd, disaffected rock band stare.  That's my guess and I'm sticking to it.  Stay strong.

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Technorati Tags: babe, beer, tune, humor, finance, cash, vanessa raia, sam adams, irish red, killians, beer advocate, bleed the dream, who's killing who, dick hammer

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REPOSTING HILARITY

Today is a re-post from February of a joke some guys played on their roommate.  They set up a camera and played a recording of a shotgun being fired.  I don't know what it is about watching some kid trying to avoid gunfire that tickles my funny bone but, goddam, this shit makes me giggle.  Stay strong... and safe.

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Roommate Gun Shots Prank - Watch more free videos

Technorati Tags: shotgun, humor, joke, prank, finance, money, cash, pistol pants

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SUNDAY POO

Ok, so I've been accused of having some kind of a fascination with poo.  I think it's time I set the record straight.  I really don't like crap, shit, or any other kind of stuff exiting the anal region.  Do not want.  Ok.  Now that  we're clear on that I'll contradict myself and say that I think the whole "bathroom humor" thing is hilarious.  If someone shits their pants in front of me well, that's my entertainment for the week.  So when I ran across tonight's featured site it was like the clouds parted and a little poop-Jesus said, Bring forth the feces my Son.  Sprinkle brigade is a group of guys with a lot of free time on their hands trekking around town, decorating dog shit, and taking pictures of it.  There.  Hours of entertainment on a Sunday night.  You're welcome.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, beer, babe, tune, tits, finance, money, cash, sunday, feces, anus, crap, shit, turd blossom, sprinkle brigade, dog shit, poop jesus

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THE PALIN PORNO.

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