FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Handshakes all around Buckos!  It's Friday... when the babes and tunes flow like wine here at WTCCTR.

This smoke-a-lisious babe is Gemma Atkinson.  Like last Friday's babe, she's English... so I'm sure having straight teeth and a delicious tray of tea and scrumpets is all it would take to sweep her off her boobs.... I mean feet.  Feet.  More pictures of her here.

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No.  Don't try and stop me.  I'm gonna do it.  It's a done deal.  //sippage// Ahhh... good old PBR.  My first PBR experience was inflicted in my freshman year at college.  My roommate's parents were "progressive" and purchased about 8 cases for him at the start of our semester.  It was supposed to last the semester (I guess).  Instead it got drunk in about 4 weeks.  And mostly by me as my roomie was pledging a fraternity and banging other freshman.  The dope.  

HA!  Ha ha!  Hey Nick, I drank all your PBR!  HA!  And I never replaced it did I?!  Ha ha... er... um... never mind.

 So the review: PBR is great if you're a depressed 18 year old having a torrid romance with your left hand; and your refrigerator is cranked to "9" on the cold dial.  Otherwise, just drink your own piss and save the $4.  Beer Advocate rates it a C ... "mediocre."

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Decyfer Down: poster boys for why white dudes shouldn't have dreadlocks.  Or, Counting Crows with half a nut sack.  Take your pick.  Either way, they wrote some snazzy little tunage entitled "Walking Dead."  And all of us who have ever been prison raped know what they're talking about.... wait... what the hell'd I just say?

"Walking Dead"

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Here's a bonus pic of Gemma for all you hearty bitches who actually read my posts through to the bitter end.  I love you fuckers.

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TOP 5 SEXY SAILORS.

Permission to come aboard Buckos!  Tonight I'm posting some sexy sailors.  And, while I fancy myself quite the swashbuckler, I usually get a nasty case of the spewies when I get on the open water; so this is about as close I'll ever get to being an actual sailor.  But that's ok because I'm a sailor of love in a vast, lusty sea; angling for adventure and bitches.  So let's shove off shall we.

Oh I'm saluting... in my pants.

Meet me on the Bow Chicka Wow Wow Deck immediately.

I'd make her first mate... uh... immediately.

That's the "permission to come aboard" wink.

I love a woman who gives the white-glove-treatment.

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STAY STRONG BUCKOS.

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5 RANDOM PICTURES I LIKE.

Not much good going on today my beautiful Buckos.  So I'm posting some random pictures I've collected that are pretty cool/funny/spiffy.  

T.R.U.E.

Cool wallpaper.  

Another cool wallpaper.  Ducks fucking rock.

God I love coffee.

Now what Bitches?

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MEMORIAL DAY TRIBUTE.

It's Memorial Day.  I don't have any witticisms or stylish little sayings today - a day when we remember the sacrifice of so many brave men and women.  Thank you to all of them.

For an updated account of U.S. Casualties in Iraq go here.

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SPACE NAZIS! - IRON SKY TRAILER.

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that I'm glad the Nazis are kaput.  But what if they weren't?  What if they found a way to survive all these years?  Gezhundeit mon Furher... gezhundeit ya scurvy dog.

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MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO HILARIOUS.

The American Idol finale had this hilarious clip of Gladys Knight and the Pips... but the Pips were replaced by Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr.  The best part comes at 2:05.  It's subtle but keep your eyes on Jack Black.  Stay strong Buckos!

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Heading into a 3 day weekend Buckos.  Yup.  And what better way to kick the shit off...

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This young woman is Kelly Brook.  She used to be the girlfriend of asshat Billy Zane.  But, being the tenderfooted fancy boy that he is, he f*ed it up - and now she's single!  ThankyouJesus ThankyouJesus.  She's English too, so I know she'll dig my powerful American charms.  Slap a little hair gel in the old mullet, spritz some Dakar Noir, and bonk her in the kisser with a cheeseburger and this bitch will be like putty ... like putty I tell ya'!

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The brew is Saranac Black Forest.  The verdict is .... good, not great.  It's a dark beer but isn't heavy.  The name made me think of a sweet, desert-ey beer before I'd tasted it.  It didn't taste like a dark beer at all however.  It tasted more like a medieval forest, with spells and ogres.  Plus, it made my nuts feel funny... and not a good funny either.  Beer Advocate rated it a B "good" based on 331 reviews.

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These degenerates are Trust Company.  They have a pretty good category of swell tunes... despite looking like the dudes who stole your car radio.  And tonight's tune is their cover of "Rock The Casbah."  No idea what a "casbah" is but the fucking rock it.  

"Rock The Casbah"

Here's a bonus picture of Kelly Brook.  Hey, way to go Billy Zane!  Ya' dope!

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FREE STUFF DAILY & A FEW GUYS WHO DON'T NEED IT.

The value of the dollar is heading south these days.  I personally think we should scrap the dollar and just switch to using Euros.  The hell with it.  Until then, here are a few sites where you can get good deals or downright free stuff:

1.  Absurdly Cool - offers free stuff DAILY.  Set up a fake email account and check it out.

2.  The Coupon Clippers - grocery coupons for products you pick, sent to your door.  Sweetness.

3.  Travel Zoo - discounts on airfare, hotels, rental cars, or anything else you need to travel.  

Another dandy little item I found today was a clip of the oil company executives sitting before congress reporting on how much their personal incomes were last year.  In the end it really doesn't matter - it's just political theater - because these horseshit hearings never result in any changes in gas prices.  But it is fun to watch them squirm... I mean, shucks, I had to dress up like a Asian prostitute to buy some gas last week so I'll take whatever I can get (don't ask... long story).

I don't know why I posted a picture of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders with this post except that they make me feel potent.  I can feel my basket oysters a' tossin' in their shells Buckos!

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TOP 5 HOT ALICE IN WONDERLANDS.

Whoa.  Apologies Buckos.  I wasn't able to update the site yesterday due to some craziness that involved Ben Gay and a weird looking hemorrhoid.  There's a big fat moral coming out of yesterday but I'm going to wait until I can walk right before I try and figure it out.

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Today we're back to the hotness.  And since yesterday was a trip down the rabbit hole, I'm featuring Alice in Wonderland.  Let's follow the rabbit you spiffy bastards...

Yeah, I know it's Paris Hilton.  But who's better to lead you through an acid trip with talking animals and playing cards?

Once again, the power of the thigh-high stockings... I know why that stupid cat was smiling.

I'd follow her down the rabbit hole.

Tea and scrumpets?  Hmm... don't mind if I do.

"Off with her dress... er... head.  Uh... just take the top off and rub the bunny on your boobies."

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GOOD TIPS.

Howdy Ho Buckos.  Nothing good to report today except two good tips:

1.  If you're going to have surgery, have it done in a hospital.

2.  Never make your first meal of the day spicy sausage with blueberry donuts.

Eat smart ya fantastic bastards!

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THE ZEN INVESTING OF WARREN BUFFETT & 1 STOCK TO BUY.

For anyone who read yesterday's post you've learned a valuable lesson about blogging while intoxicated: don't drink a six pack and attempt to summarize international investment strategy.  I don't know what had me more hung over... drinking all night or trying to understand Warren "The Buffer" Buffett.  Fucked my shit up.  So tonight I'll try to boil Mr. Buffett down to his basics, make it coherent,  and offer 1 solid stock that he LOVES - for good reason.

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So, his basic approach to investment is as follows:

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1.  Buy what you understand.  If you don't know what the product is or how the business is run, don't get it.

2. Buy stock in companies that have simple products that you know what it will look like in 10, 20, .. 80 years.  Wrigley's chewing gum is going to look and function the same in 2108 as it does in 2008.

3.  The best way to pick a stock is to sit in a room and think.  If you don't have a good idea of what to do after thinking privately about it, advice from others isn't going to help.

4.  Buy one GOOD stock per year and ride it to it's potential (ie., hold it for the long term).  Brokers get paid per trade (ie., activity).  You make more money for in-activity (ie., holding stocks for long periods of time).

And Buffett's favorite stock pick?  Coca Cola.  It meets all the above criteria and - most importantly - Coke has no fucking taste memory!  What does that mean?  It means you never get sick of drinking it.  So if you have 5 Coke's today you'll probably have 5 tomorrow and 5 the day after that.  That's fucking ingenious!  Multiply that by the people in China who drink the shit like it's Jesus Juice and you've got a winning business strategy.  I'm throwing some Coke into my portfolio tomorrow.  So, until then, have a Coke and a smile Buckos!

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THE ZEN INVESTING OF WARREN BUFFETT

Warren Buffett is unquestionable the greatest investor of our time.  Shares of his holding company sell for approximately $150000/share and are by far the highest priced shares (ie., most valuable) shares on the stock exchange.  Dude is an interestng mix of conserative investing philosophy and extreme intelligence.  Usually smart guys get cocky and tend to bet the farm.  But not good old Warren.  Anyway, he recently gave a talk to a bunch of MBA's and here are the highlights:

• The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they're too heavy to be broken.
• You [ordinary people] do the same things as I do, but I travel a little differently.
• Do what you love NOW... otherwise it's like saving sex for old age.
• Take a job as if you're independently wealthy.
• The best company to invest in = a pretty castle with a wide moat  and honest, able kings (i.e, a sound company with substantial advantage over competitors and honest CEO's)
• When looking at a company to ivest in, find simple products that you know, and how they will be 10 years from now.  For example, chewing gun companies will be doing the same thing in the same way 10, 20, 100 years from now.
• Value "share of mind" - a product brand name that illicits an emotional trigger/response.  Example, guys will buy Hershey's chocolate on Valentines Day instead of the generic, cheaper brand because the mark-up in price is not a barrier to purcharse.
  

This stuff is a little hard to follow if you've already got a 6 pack of brewskis on board.  It's probably better for all if I just studied these nifty little ideas when I'm a little more sober.  I'll finish up the summaries tomorrow.  Dang this crapola is complicated.

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Peace and chicken grease until tomorrow .

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

It's that time again Buckos.  Thank f*ing God.

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Tonight's babe is Spencer Scott.  She's a model and Playboy's Playmate of the month for 2007.  And she's the youngest playmate to date with a birthday of - ready for this? - April 4, 1989.  Uhhh... sheesh.  It was a good year though.  Not only is it Spencer's birthday, but it was the year I got my first job out of high school.  Oh yeah, the janitorial sciences in upstate New York didn't know what hit it that year.  If you want to see the rest of Spencer check her out here.

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Summer is right around the corner and if you're looking for an alternative to Corona I'd go with Sam Adams Light.  This is one of my favorite beers period... forget that it's a light beer.  It's crisp and clean and has a ton of flavor.  I put this in my "want" column.  Want!  Beer Advocate rates it as B- ... "worthy."  Worthy of deliciousness you Beer Advocate sons a bitches.

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While this is very similar to my first communion photo, it's not.  It's the band for tonight's "tune" portion of our program - Papa Roach.  The name of the tune is "Time Is Running Out."  Warning: this song rocks extremely hard.  Last time I listened to the whole thing it actually made me incontinent.  Just so you know.  Have some tissues or a toilet nearby.  

"Time Is Running Out"

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NEVER GIVE IN.

Some people are bad asses.  When you look back at history you'll find a lot of people who would gladly rip out your beating heart and show it to you: General Patton, Sun Tzu, Genghis Khan, Harry Truman, William Wallace; Mrs. Jetson, my 1st grade teacher (she wouldn't let you take a piss until you got the correct answer... what kind of sadistic bitch won't let little kids use the crapper?!?).  And part of being a bad ass means fighting to the death, which is why Winston Churchill makes my list.  He had one of the best lines ever when he gave a speech at the Harrow School in 1941:

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Yeah, that's a guy who would spit on your corpse as you lay dying in a ditch.  Anyway, here's a short video of some others who got dealt a crappy hand by fate - and then turned around and told fate to suck the big one.  Funny thing, they're all pretty bad assed.  

Stay strong Buckos!

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TOP 5 HOT BO PEEPS.

Look, someones gotta herd these fuckers.  Why not a hot chick?  And just to make it that much hotter, I've always pictured Bo Peep as a dong-toting lesbian.  But the feminine kind... not the Home Depot lesbian.  I once got in a scrap with one of them over the last countersink cutter at a Johnny Screws Guns and Hardware sale.  That plaid-wearing broad damn near gave me a second bung hole before all was said and done.  Anyway, let's peep us some sheep!

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F*ing lucky assed sheep.

Thigh-high stockings have many uses when herding sheep.  Really!

Now this is my kind of Bo Peep.  I've been a baaaad little sheepy.

Sheer me Bitch!

Shit-dang!

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VIDEO OF A DUDE SCARING COMPLETE STRANGERS.

People are annoying.  So anytime I get to see someone annoying people back - I'm in... I'm allll in baby.  This video shows some Guy Forks looking dude approaching random people on the street and scaring their rectums off with a weird chihuahua noise.  Or maybe it's just a video of a guy with Tourette Syndrome who's walking to work.  Either way, I like this guy's style.  To me it says, 'I have stupid facial hair, I'm not getting laid, and I have a video camera.'  How many times have we all been there?  C'mon...

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SKIMPY PROM DRESS

I almost didn't go to my senior prom.  I know... I almost can't believe it either.  My musty sexuality and cheetah-tastic animal magnetism really didn't kick in until I was solidly in my late 20's... about the same time my balls dropped.  Still, I managed to scrape up a date and go.  I don't remember the details except that, despite my date being wrapped up like a mummy and completely un-interested in me sexually; I was so incredibly smoked up in my pants that just holding her hand almost caused me to jizz up my cumber bun.  So if she had worn a slutty dress I think my crotch would have actually exploded off my body from the sheer freocity of my inadvertent pelvic thrusting.  My point being - isn't this overkill?  I mean, having hooker-ish prom dresses is like throwing gasoline on a fire at a gunpowder factory.  To all the prom-aged girls out there... come closer... I have a secret for you:  IT'S PROM NIGHT!  YOU'RE GONNA GET ATTENTION AND SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR!  Kee-ripes.  

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Anyway, some chick in Texas wore a mega-slutty dress and was kicked out of her prom.  CNN did this hard hitting story about it:

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COLBERT REPORT ON WHERE YOUR GAS DOLLAR GOES.

I talk about how to get the most out of your gas dollar on this site from time to time.  I mean, last year at this time the average price per gallon was $3.08.  Today the national average is $3.72.  We all see where this is going, right?  And we're all left to feel like the pump is being jammed squarely up our collective asses while Exxon pulls down $11.7 BILLION last QUARTER.  Just to put that in some kind perspective: 11 billion seconds is equal to 349 years.  Exxon should just hire a guy wearing a turban to kick you in the nuts every time you fill your tank.  At least it would be honest.  But in this video the oil industry tries to claim they actually don't make any money from gasoline.  Uhh... really?  Well, my man Steve Colbert calls bullshit:  

Pump it slow Buckos!

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POLICEMAN VS. FIREMAN

I ran across this video series on YouTube called Policeman vs. Fireman.  In it, Fireman Jake and Policeman Perry compare their jobs; and each video ends with a nice little public service announcement.  Now, I don't have anything against police officers.  They have a tough job.  But they are a pain in the ass when you're trying to do something illegal.  If you've never broken the law, trust me on this.  They follow you around, take you places you don't want to go, talk all mean to you and won't let you have a soda until you answer a bunch of the same questions over and over again, then they'll drive you all over God's green Earth asking you to show them where you dumped the bodies... I mean, dang!... total buzz kill man.  I'm serious.

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Anyway, here's the first video in the series.  There are 7 others up on YouTube.  Keep it legal Buckos!

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Ok Buckos, I'm back!  And it's Friday!  Sweet Mother Mary Mothball a la sphincters - its Friday!

Babe tonight is Jennifer Walcott.  She was playmate of the month in August 2001.  And she's WTCCTR Friday's babe in May 2008.  I think we all know which one of those titles is going to give her career the bigger boost.  Let me put it this way: Playboy is going to have to come up with more than 70 readers each week to compete with the WTCCTR juggernaut.  Oh yeah, I ain't shittin' ya.  Way more funner pics of Jennifer here.

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The brew I'm soaking my pallette in at this writing is Yuengling Traditional Lager.  It has a crisp, clean taste with a smooth finish.  It's kinda heavy on the carbonation but is pretty friggin' delicioso if you ask me.  It could also have something to do with the fact that it's ice cold and I've been breathing in insulation all day.  But still a pretty solid brew.  If you're looking to mix up your beer purchase I'd go for it.  Remember it's extra good if you huff some insulation beforehand.  Beer Advocate rates it as a B- ... "worthy."  I'm cool with that.

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Tunage tonight is from St. Louis rock band Modern Day Zero.  The song is "Broken," which is a good description of my lungs right now.  I mean, every time I take a deep breath a little puff of asbestos comes out my asshole, which totally isn't normal for me.  Anyway, onto the tune.

"Broken"

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