WTF IS THAT?!?

In real life I'm a pretty shaky dude.  I mean, I'm pretty fucking jumpy and high-strung.  So, if I go and get confronted with shit that's weird, supernatural; or otherwise off the f*cking charts - I'll lose my shit.  Seriously.  It's been proven time and time again.  Like, there was the time I saw a shooting star and reflexively punched the crap out of the random guy walking past me.  Or the time I was whipping cow dung at cars after I thought I saw a crop circle.  Anyway, if I was even remotely in the area where this picture was taken I'd probably end up grabbing the closest sharp object and flailing around wildly until I hit something.  Or I'd masturbate.  It's a toss up... on second thought, I'd probably masturbate... because fuck that creepy little fucker.

(click on picture for larger version)

Technorati Tags: shooting star, torture memo, crop circle, financial, aig, cheney, rumsfeld, bush, john stewart, steven colbert, ronald jenkees, christmas testicles

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IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP BITCHES.

Howdy ho people.  It's been awhile since I last posted.  But that doesn't mean I'm not out there scanning the internets for you maniacs.  It's just that I haven't found anything worth posting lately.  I almost posted a bit about how AIG is like the Titanic (i.e., "too big to fail") but then I thought, 'Cripes, I'm turning into David Brinkley for the love of sweet little Jesus' baby nuts.'  So, when I came across this old AC/DC video, the little man in my loins went all David Carruso on my ass.  By the way, the guitar riff at the beginning of this song is so fucking great it made my nipples smoke.  True story.  Anyway, the video is about 5 minutes long so you'll have to watch the whole thing be absorb the full awesomeness of it.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: ac/dc, it's a long way, humor, finance, tits, obama, stimulus, aig, rihanna, chris brown, jesus christ, angioplasty, domestic violence rocks

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BAILOUTS AND BOOBAGES

Salutations to my fellow chimpanzee lovers out there.  Of course we're all aware by now that the country is going to hell in a hand basket... tied to an anvil... that's welded to a pot bellied stove.  And, I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly sure what the christ is going on.  I don't understand what caused the housing market to "collapse."  Nor do I get how a trillion dollar bailout is going to make everything better.  So tonight I'm posting this informative joint about how this whole douchebag of a financial crisis got started.  It's a little long - 10 minutes - but does a great job of explaining how the ass raping that is our current economic situation got started.

And now I'm going to post a fresh pic of some righteous boobs... just to mellow shit out a little.  You know... kind of like having a beer after doing a line of coke... or something like that.  Stay liquid you maniacs.

Technorati Tags: bailout, financial crisis, angela, sommers, boobages, bank failures, aig, economic, crisis, obama, hannity, octomom, retail rectums

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WANT TO SHIT YOUR PANTS?

Hey, guess what?  That pesky little "bail out" for $820 BILLION isn't really going as planned.  It seems that right before the Fed handed over those big, sweaty wads of cash to the banks it eradicated a tax law that prevented them from buying other financial intuitions.  So?  Well, that means all that money that was supposed to be loaned to small businesses and Joe the Plumber to do business, pay employees, and buy goods is now going towards AIG getaways, executive bonuses, and consuming other banks.  What does all this REALLY mean?  Put on a pair of old underwear and check this shit out...

The German sub-titles are there to make sure you understand what you're hearing in case you can't fucking believe your ears with the English.  Stay strong.

Technorati Tags: humor, finance, dollar, us dollar, collapse, bailout, AIG, the Fed, Joe the Plumber, underwear, German, genital wartation

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