MINOR PROGRAMMING NOTE

Because of the crushing volume of reader mail I receive, people have expressed doubt that I actually go through it all. Ah, but I do. I even follow up on some of the silly shit people throw at me. Tonight is a case in point. A reader wanted to have captions for all the righteous babes I feature in the right margin of the blog. So, ok... starting tonight any of the babes that have their name below their picture will also have a link - if you click their picture - to even more pictures of them. For all you youngsters out there: it's doing magnamous shit like this that gets you the title "swell guy." Stay strong.

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WTF IS THAT?!?

In real life I'm a pretty shaky dude.  I mean, I'm pretty fucking jumpy and high-strung.  So, if I go and get confronted with shit that's weird, supernatural; or otherwise off the f*cking charts - I'll lose my shit.  Seriously.  It's been proven time and time again.  Like, there was the time I saw a shooting star and reflexively punched the crap out of the random guy walking past me.  Or the time I was whipping cow dung at cars after I thought I saw a crop circle.  Anyway, if I was even remotely in the area where this picture was taken I'd probably end up grabbing the closest sharp object and flailing around wildly until I hit something.  Or I'd masturbate.  It's a toss up... on second thought, I'd probably masturbate... because fuck that creepy little fucker.

(click on picture for larger version)

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WE ARE SO F*CKED

A few days ago I posted a video explaining the credit crisis that's currently ass raping us as a country.  Today I'm doing a follow-up on that post with a 30 minute clip from a movie called I.O.U.S.A.  I know: thirty minutes is a long time to watch a video on your computer that doesn't involve cunnilingus or someone accidentally getting bonked in the nuts.  But, even if you don't like economic issues, you should check this out.  I mean, it really took a nice Saturday and turned it into a study in helplessness and despair; leaving me huddled in a corner in the fetal position quivering in a puddle of my own piss while clutching $43 like it was the only thing standing between me and life in a Turkish prison.  Who would say 'no' to that?  Stay strong.

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FRIDAY'S BABE, BEER, AND A TUNE.

Wha... where am I??  Whoa.  Sorry about not being around for the last few days.  I'm sure you maniacs managed without me.  After all, Al Gore's internet is a rich, interactive environment which puts the world's libraries and knowledge at your fingertips.  Oh, and a crazy amount of tits.  And just FYI - if you're gonna drop acid and do whippets, pre-plan your way home.  

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Yeah.  I'm not messing around this week.  Michelle Panzarella was a Cybergirl of the Week for Playboy and recently appeared as Playmate of the Month in the current (55th Anniversary) edition of Playboy.  Other than that, the only thing I could find out about her was that... ready?... she has two kids.  Yup.  So here's to you Michelle.  And to breastfeeding until you're 43.  More pics of her here.  (You're welcome Jbird).

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Rolling Rock Extra Pale Ale is on tap tonight.  I hadn't had it in awhile and so I went into this weeks "tasting" with a clean palliate, so to speak.  I've always liked RR's packaging and unique green bottle which makes me want to like this beer.  Then I drank it.  It's a flat, bitter beer with an aftertaste of a car trunk.  After three sips I smashed it over my genitals just so I would enjoy it more.  Beer Advocate rates this bitch a C- ... "not worthy."  I agree Mr. Beer Advocate.  Ptoowy!

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This is intheclear.  They're a straight-up heavy rock band out of Louisville, Kentucky.  And they're awesome.  They've toured with Staind, Chevelle, Sevendust, and Days of the New.  You've probably never heard of them but you should get some of their tunage.  It'll smoke your balls off.  The tune featured is entitled "Dead Roses."  Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go stand outside for a bit.  My balls are making it look like a Texas barbecue basement cookout in the old home office here.  Stay strong.

"Dead Roses"

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WHAT THE F*CK ARE THESE GUYS SMILING ABOUT?!?

Ready for another week?  After two days off, my credit card has smoke coming off of it and my nipples are killing me... so I'm glad to get out of this weekend without an STD or appearing before a judge.  And it turns out I wasn't the only one who had a good weekend.  I found this picture of Bush, Paulson, and Bernanke at a IMF meeting held on Saturday.  They appeared to be yuk-ing it up despite sitting at the epicenter of the collapse of the US economy.  Seriously, what the fuck is so fucking funny at a International Money Fund meeting held on a fucking weekend?!?!  If I had anything remotely to do with the financial meltdown that's occurring I'd be wearing a black veil and kneading my nuts with a pair of vice grips - just to have some kind of empathy with all the retiree's who's IRA's I just destroyed.  But instead of having any sort of decorum these dudes are jerking each other off in front of the world in an AP photo because they just pulled off the greatest heist in the history of mankind.  If there's any divine justice or karma or whatever these three douche bags will be stuffed up each other's respective assholes for all of eternity in a hot pit of baby tears and razor blades.

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I'm sorry to keep posting about this topic but when someone is fucking you in the ass it's pretty much impossible to talk about other issues.  Uhhh... at least that's what I've been told... ok, bad analogy.  But you know what I mean... right? ... Ah.. fuck it.  Anyway, here's the pic and caption from the news source.  Stay liquid fuckers.

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President Bush, right, smiles during the G20 ministerial meeting at the International Monetary Fund Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008 in Washington. From left, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, and Bush. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

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